Negotiation, Communication and
Body Language Strategies

“How To Rebound Right From A Dreadful Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Dread only last as long as you sense it’s there. When negotiating, get over your dread and your dread will be dead.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

How To Rebound Right From A Dreadful Negotiation

 

Everyone has a dreadful negotiation at some point in their life. Good negotiators know how to rebound right from dreadful negotiations, which makes them better negotiators in the long run.

 

Consider the following mental agilities when you’ve been confronted by a dreadful negotiation. They’ll quicken your pace to the road of success.

 

  1. Assess what happened compared to what you expected to occur. In your assessment, consider the thought process that went into the plan you developed for the negotiation, what components you overlooked and why you did so, and lend special attention to how you’ll prevent the dreadful outcome you experienced from occurring again. Everyone has bad negotiation days and one negotiation outcome does not a negotiation career make.

 

  1. Get through the following psychological stages as rapidly as you can. Doing so will be mentally uplifting, which will keep you away from the mental dragons that might attempt to slay you and your thoughts about your negotiation abilities.

 

  • Grief/Denial: I don’t believe this happened to me; that may be the first prominent thought that attempts to plague you. Cast it aside. In order to move past your grief/denial stage, you must accept the reality of the situation for what it is. At that point, you may be able to seriously consider alternatives to either reopen the negotiation and/or to reposition the understanding you had about its outcome. Doing so will also accelerate the acceptance phase of this process.

 

  • Anger: You may be justified in being upset about the outcome of the negotiation, but don’t let that rob you of your mental thought process. Also, don’t be overly angry about what the other negotiator did during the negotiation or to you. Again, the sooner you can obtain a clear mind the sooner you’ll be able to think coherently. Plus, the other negotiator was doing the exact same thing that you were attempting to do, maximize the best possible outcome for her side. Remember, people will only do to you what you allow them to do.

 

  • Acceptance: Once you’ve embraced the outcome for the reality that it is, you can begin to grapple with it. At that point, you can formulate a plan of action to address the outcome of the negotiation. You’ll also be in a better frame of mind to seek insights from a negotiation advisor that may be able to offer solutions that you’d not considered.

 

  1. Be happy you experienced the dreadful negotiation outcome you had. Say what! That may sound contrary to what you think you should feel. Let me explain.

 

There were a few aspects that led to the outcome you experienced that you’d not considered. Hopefully, since you survived the outcome, you can learn from the exposure of that experience and allow it to serve as a lesson learned from the school of hard knocks; we tend to remember those lessons more fervently than those that don’t gut-punch us. Learning such hard lessons will also be more prominent about teaching us to avoid them in the future.

 

 

When negotiating, you don’t have to let dreadful negotiation outcomes define your future negotiations. You can rebound better from such letdowns and be better prepared and positioned to engage in future negotiations. Once you wrap your mind around the actions highlighted above you’ll be more mentally prepared for your future negotiations. Setbacks will be viewed as setups for future negotiation wins … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com   or at (609) 369-2100.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Predictions” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

 

“To make the predictable more favorable, address the unpredictable parts of such aspects.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Predictions”

 

Do you make predictions and then lack in the preparation to deal with the unpredictable aspect of those predictions? Here’s my prediction. If you don’t plan for the unpredictable, the unpredictable will make plans for you. That means the unpredictable will have more control of your life, than you controlling the unpredictable.

In life, it’s the little things that we’d not planned for that upends us at times. Of course, we can’t plan for everything and some things that we don’t plan for are pleasant surprises. It’s those major things that start as something small that builds up over time that causes us angst. It’s like when we were in our teen years and had to deal with acne. If our face was not cleansed with regularity pimples would form. That was predictable. Even so, some teens would neglect the necessary cleansing process until their neglected face was inflamed. Then, they’d take hurried actions in an effort to eradicate the situation.

The question you might consider asking yourself is, what proverbial pimples are forming in your life that you could prevent from occurring if you took appropriate actions sooner than later? The answer, while not the end-all to all of your problems, maybe more simplistic then you realize. It’s something to note as one way to tame the unpredictable and in so doing, make your future less harmful where dread might await you.

  1. Have a sense of direction and purpose in your life.
  2. Set goals for where you’d like to be based on the timeframe you set to achieve the goal in its totality.
  3. Use little milestones to measure the degree of accomplishment you’re making towards the overall goal.
  4. Be prepared to make corrections when you sense such is required.
  5. Never view an outcome as a failure. Instead, view it as an occurrence from which you learned something of value, as something that will add value to your goals.

Here’s the point, the sooner you prepare for the unpredictable the better you’ll be prepared to deal with it … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Depending on the length of a negotiation, something that you’d not considered will occur; that’s the predictable aspect of the unpredictable. When that occurs, have a plan in place to address it. That plan can be as simple as calling a timeout to remove yourself from the negotiation to consider how to respond to the situation. To the degree you’d accounted for an occurrence that’s similar to the situation that backed you from the negotiation, you can incorporate and implement parts of that plan into your responding action. From that point, you’ll be better prepared to continue the negotiation.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“How To Listen Better To Be A Stronger Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“When negotiating, the better you listen the more you’ll hear. The more you hear the better you’ll be able to negotiate” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“How To Listen Better To Be A Stronger Negotiator”

 

How well do you listen when negotiating? Do you listen for hidden meanings? Do you listen for silence? To be a stronger negotiator, you have to listen better, because even silence can speak volumes about the thoughts the other negotiator is contemplating.

The following are a few things you can do to be a stronger negotiator simply by listening better.

 

What to listen for:

 

  • Word choices: When negotiating, you should always be observant of the word choices that are used by the other negotiator. The words she uses represents her subliminal associations to those words. Some words, “I think” versus “I’m sure”, “we will” versus “I will”, allow you to gain insight into the degree to which a commitment is being made, along with the degree of authority the person making the pronouncement has to deliver on such pronouncements.

 

  • Change of pace/inflection: When a negotiator alters the pace of his voice, lend pinpointed attention as to why that occurred. You should also note how long the alteration occurs until it recedes back into the pace/inflection that occurred before it was altered. By noting such alterations, you will be better positioned to unmask the causes of those occurrences. In so doing, your attention may be drawn to a matter that requires your immediate attention. To ignore such occurrences could later reveal itself as a missed opportunity or the point at which the negotiation began to head in a disadvantaged position.

 

  • Silence: I’m sure you’ve heard that silence is golden. In a negotiation, it can provide invaluable information and insight. During times of silence, the other negotiator might be in thought-mode, deliberating about what he should do next, how to position/reposition himself, or playing the stall game. Again, note why he went into such a mindset, the moment it occurred via what was being discussed, and attempt to discern what he might be contemplating (i.e. additional insights can be obtained by observing his body language (refer to the book, “Body Language Secrets To Win More Negotiations”)). Once he begins to re-engage, note how he does so. If he appears to be more animated than before that could be an indication that he sees a greater opportunity in the negotiation for himself. A more subdued endowment might indicate the opposite mindset. To determine which is more accurate use probing questions to uncover his thoughts (e.g. what just happened? I noticed a marked change in your demeanor and attitude.)

 

  • Intuition: Everyone has sensations about the things occurring in their environment as they go throughout their day. In most cases, we don’t pay attention to most of them because our brain would be bombarded and go into information overload; we’d never get a lot done if we stopped and analyzed the meaning of every sensation we experienced.

 

To the degree you have a strong sensation during your negotiations, strong enough for you to sense that you felt something, pay attention to it. Your subconscious mind could be attempting to draw your attention to something that’s very pertinent to what’s being discussed.

 

There is a myriad of things occurring during a negotiation. To better identify the meaning of those that are most important, make an effort to listen better during your negotiations. You’ll be rewarded with better negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com   or at (609) 369-2100.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Body Language and Physiognomics, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Is Negotiating More Like a Fool Really Foolish” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“Foolishness is open to perception. Thus, if acting like a fool achieves your goals over another, is the fool the one that doesn’t act foolishly?” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Is Negotiating More Like a Fool Really Foolish”

 

When negotiating, do you sometimes act foolishly? If so, are you embarrassed when that occurs?

Smart negotiators know they must employ sneaky ploys at times. Such includes acting foolishly if a situation is warranted.

 

The following are several scenarios in which you might invoke foolishness.

 

  1. Altering or changing the dynamics of the negotiation:

In any negotiation, you must be mindful of how any strategy you employ will play out. That means, you should have backups of your strategies (e.g. I’m not sure why I said/did that! Let’s get back on track (used when you did not get the response from the other negotiator that you sought). At a minimum, at that point, you’ve infused the negotiation with something for the opposing negotiator to think about. Thus, the ploy could have been implemented to alter his demeanor. If that was the case and his perspective was altered per the goal you sought to achieve, your ploy was successful.

 

  1. Altering the perspective of the other negotiator:

Have you ever talked to yourself? Everyone has done so at some point in time. A better question is, do you answer the questions you pose to yourself? It may sound silly, silly is as silly does, but you can openly talk to yourself during a negotiation by posing hypothetical questions out loud to discern the reaction you get from the other negotiator.

I did this once in a negotiation and after a while, the other negotiator started addressing my hypothetical questions. That gave me insight into two facts. One, I was leading him (When you lead someone in a negotiation, they acquiesce to your suggestions). Two, he was giving me insight as to how he would respond if the questions weren’t hypothetical.

 

  1. Acting the Clown:

I recall one negotiation I was in that had become very dire. Neither I nor the other negotiator wanted to make additional concessions because both of us thought that would give way to the other negotiator gaining the upper hand. At one point, I stated, somewhat loud, let’s get silly! With that, I bent under the table and put on a red clown nose. When I reappeared, the other negotiator burst out laughing. After that, we reengaged in the negotiation with him saying, “If you’re not afraid of being silly, you can’t be that bad.” Whenever that gentleman and I see one another, we still laugh about that time.

What can you do to break the monotony when you reach impasses in your negotiations? Seriously, it’s something you should consider before entering into a negotiation. By considering such, you can be prepared with the props needed/required to alter the pace of the negotiation and the mindset of the other negotiator. After all, people that are perceived as having a sense of humor are also perceived to be more human, more down to earth.

 

When engaged in a negotiation, especially one that may be fraught with tension and anxiety, consider how you can alter the negotiation to alter the environment. Acting foolish is one way that you can do it. If used at the right time, you’ll change the dynamics of the negotiation which could lead to a more successful negotiation outcome … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“If You’re Stuck It’s In Your Mind” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

 “Keep your mind sharp by observing what dulls it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

  

 

 “If You’re Stuck It’s In Your Mind”

 

What are you doing that doesn’t serve you when it comes to reaching your goals? Take note of such occurrences because to the degree you’re not doing the things that help you get closer to your goals you’re engaging in time wasters.

If you derive pleasure from some activities, recognize that pleasure for the value it adds to your life. Do the same for activities that serve as distractions and assess why you engage in them. You’ll uncover something about what motivates you in the process because distractions also serve you at some level. Identify the point of servitude that such provides and assess to what degree you’re being served. That will give you a sense of priority to apply to the action that leads you to the activity that serves you best. Then, you have to become disciplined to do that which serves your goals if you want more happiness and success in your life. If that point is minuscule understand that the activity that leads to the action you engage in may be more of a distraction than a value. If such is the case, have the fortitude to get rid of it.

Don’t feel overwhelmed when sensing a lack of direction in your life. Be thankful for the sensation. At that point, at least you’re aware that you’re not where you want to be. Instead, ask yourself, what would make me the happiest at this time. Pose thought-provoking questions such as that to probe the depths of your mind. By doing so, you’ll uncover hidden thoughts that will act as your mental GPS to navigate you to a greater sense of purpose and a better life.

When you think you’re stuck, don’t think that way. Instead, think that you’re just not thinking to the degree that you should be thinking to get yourself unstuck … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Impasses occur in negotiations because the negotiators sense that there’s no feasible outcome to a situation. When confronted by such a plight, don’t think that you’re at a dead-end. Instead, examine the point of dispute from many points of thought. Suggest to the other negotiator that you and she do so together.  By doing that, the two of you will be working on solving a problem, which should lead to more collaboration. That effort will assist more in leading to a resolution to the impasse than feeling reluctant about feeling stuck.

Your mind is what gives you a sense of purpose and direction in your life. When you feel stuck, use your mind to become unstuck!

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thanksgiving – A Time To Be Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

No matter the size or what your troubles are, you have something to be thankful for.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged ,

“Embrace Your Fears To Win The Game Of Life” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“Fear is the unseen boogieman that lurks in the dark. Expose it to the light of knowledge and fear will disappear.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Embrace Your Fears To Win The Game Of Life”

 

At first, I was extremely fearful! I was immobilized. Once I identified my fear, in this case, it was the fear of failure, I used fear as a source of motivation!

What are you fearful of and to what degree do you allow it to immobilize you? We all know that fear stems from not being 100% sure of an outcome. Thus, fear is a form of protection. The question is, what is fear protecting you from and to what degree is what you fear real?

In my case, the fear I experienced was about starting a new venture. I didn’t know if I was up to addressing the rigors required to make the venture successful. Upon reflection, I recalled that I’d faced many new ventures in the past and the majority of them turned out to be successful.

You too can use your past wins as motivation to tackle the newness that life’s opportunities present to you.

In order to grow in life, everyone must rise to new heights. That comes about by addressing new challenges. Challenges are meant to serve as steppingstones to greater achievements.

After the many challenges I’ve addressed in life and overcome, I don’t look at anything as a failure anymore. Things might not turn out to be as stellar as I thought they would, but I don’t look at them as failures. I learn something from each new venture I engage in. That makes me better prepared for the next one. How about you, what thought-processes do you engage in to overcome your doubts, your fears?

If you were assured that you’d never fail at anything, what might you achieve? That can be a perplexing question because failure is perceptional. That means, it only has a life to the degree you allow it to exist in you. Thus, you are able to defeat failure. It starts with your mindset and the way you think about it.

When you’re fearful about anything, examine the source of your fear. Combat it with the successes you’ve achieved in the past, and kick fear in the butt … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Before negotiating, you may fear the outcome based on your perception of a lack of skills, resources, insights, etc. If that’s the case, identify why you have such feelings. Once you do, strengthen your perceived weaknesses.

You may not experience the gains you thought you’d make in the negotiation, but you will have increased your self-perception and enhanced your negotiation skills. You will have grown and you won’t have to groan about your shortcomings. Your growth may be incrementally small but it will be a step towards greater improvements, and that’s how we grow in life.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“You’ll Absolutely Worry If you Miss Your Negotiation Train” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“Change is constant. When negotiating don’t assume things are the way they’ve always been.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“You’ll Absolutely Worry If you Miss Your Negotiation Train”

 

There I stood at the entrance to track two waiting for the 7:32 train to arrive for New York. At 7:30, I heard the whistle of the train and I thought thank goodness it’s on time; I had a very important meeting in New York and I didn’t want to be late.

The train pulled in and as I later found out, it was on track one. Track one was on the other side of the station, which is not where I’d always caught the train in the past. I looked at the train that, from my perspective was on the wrong track and at the wrong side of the station. I wondered what the heck was going on. It was 7:31 and even though the train had New York as its destination moniker, I was puzzled and went into process-thinking mode. Meanwhile, I heard another train’s whistle and saw that train was speeding towards me on track one. As it sped by me, not stopping, I felt confused. I couldn’t move. Needless to say, I missed the 7:32 train because I was not quick enough with my thoughts to take advantage of what was right in front of me.

I was filled with consternation after that, but I was reminded that I should not assume things are the same from one day to the next. You should remember that when you’re negotiating.

 

Be Aware Of Assumptions:

I’d initiated my train ride on many occasions in the past from that train station. I assumed everything that had always been true (i.e. the track the train would be on, tracks numbered in order) would be the same; the tracks were numbered two, one, three (go figure). What I didn’t consider was, that was the first time I’d caught the train that early in the morning. I should not have assumed that things would be the same as they were later in the day.

When you’re negotiating, be careful of the assumptions you make. The wrong assumptions can lead you to missing your negotiation train (i.e. opportunities).

 

Your New Normal Occurs Every day:

That means, what you knew yesterday will influence what you think you know about today. Given that, you should assess how the thoughts you had yesterday are influencing the decisions you make today. When negotiating always update your thought process with the most up to date information.

 

Trust Your Intuition:

When negotiating, you’ll have sensory perceptions. Don’t ignore them. In most cases what you’re sensing is something you pick up at a subliminal, subconscious level. Your perception is not fully registering your state of full consciousness. Since you’re bombarded with sensory information constantly, your brain doesn’t send every piece of data to your consciousness. You’d experience data overload if that occurred and that would tremendously hamper your decision-making abilities.

If you’re in a critical stage of a negotiation, be prepared to move with haste if you sense something needs immediate action. Having said that, make sure that you don’t move so quickly that haste turns into a disadvantaged action.

 

When negotiating, be prepared with rebuttals you’ll offer during the negotiations. Also be mindful that there will be unexpected occurrences that you’d not anticipated. When that happens, take special note of what you’re sensing, why you may be having such sensations, and the meaning that’s coming from them. It’s an attempt by your subconscious mind to grab the attention of your conscious state of mind. If the sensation is strong enough, there’s hidden value in paying attention to it. Once you become more attuned to such sensations, you’ll begin to win more negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Do Your Emotions Confound You” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“To control all aspects of life better, exercise better control of your emotions.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Do Your Emotions Confound You”

 

Are your emotions confounding you? Do you know where those emotions are taking you before you give them control to do so? Your emotions drive your actions and behavior. So, if your emotions are confounding you, you need to understand what’s occurring with them.

In all that you do, you do because you have an emotional force that drives you. Upon reflection, that may be obvious. But, to what degree are you aware of why you do what you do when later you question why you did what you did?

Whether the driving emotional force is in the form of telling someone you love them, showing others by example how to live a righteous life, or being respectful of the wishes and views of other individuals, your emotions are the source of your actions. That’s important to keep in mind because doing so will allow you to identify the source of your actions.

When it comes to the actions you commit be aware that, your emotions drive behavior, your attitudes drive behavior, and your behavior changes your emotions and your attitudes; it’s an unconscious cycle that most folks are oblivious to as they go throughout their day. That lack of introspection is also the cause why some people commit acts for which they later feel regret.

To be in greater control of your life, take greater control of your emotions … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Negotiations are fraught with emotions that can potentially derail the negotiation. When opposing negotiators are not aware of the emotional impact that their emotions are having on the interpretation of the other negotiator’s actions, that lack of attentiveness can be the source from which doom looms in the negotiation.

When negotiating, not only should you be aware of your own emotional state, you should also be aware of the emotional state of your negotiation counterpart. The more you’re aware of both emotional states, the better you’ll understand why both of you commit certain actions. That will also give you the insight needed to alter the emotional perspectives that are driving the negotiation.

In your very next negotiation, even if it’s with a close friend for something minuscule, note the emotional state that both of you are in when you initiate your exchange and note how that state is altered as you exchange ideas to reach the outcome you seek. That exercise will serve as practice, which will make you a better negotiator in the long run.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Expert Advice On How To Negotiate With A Bully” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To be fearless against a bully display what he fears.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Expert Advice On How To Negotiate With A Bully”

 

Follow this expert advice to negotiate with a bully.

 

  1. Differentiate between a bully that may be controlling versus bullying. Some people don’t see themselves as bullies. They may be the type that likes to be in control of situations and display overly aggressive means to maintain that control. The two perspectives possess different mindsets.

 

  1. Identify the personality type of the bully you’re negotiating with (you’re always negotiating). Thus, even in your first encounter with a person (and after that time), you should assess that person’s traits, demeanor, and characteristics. Doing so will give you the insight needed to formulate a negotiation strategy.

 

  1. Determine the best environment to negotiate with a bully. He may be stronger in one environment as the result of resources surrounding him or those he has to ‘save face’ for; this may also tend to make him cockier than he’d normally be. If that’s the case, get him out of his environment; this should be done physically and/or psychologically. In doing so you’ll dilute his psychological powers and weaken him mentally in the process (i.e. power is perceptional).

 

  1. If addressing a bully on a one-on-one basis doesn’t achieve your objective(s), marshal forces to use as leverage against him. Depending on the situation, let those that he has more respect for take the lead on your behalf; never let a bully know how strong your forces are. You must be prepared to send in a second, third, fourth, etc., wave that’s stronger than what preceded it. For maximum effect, the timing of your next foray should occur just when the bully thinks he’s squashed your best efforts. In normal situations, over time you’ll wear the bully down and he’ll acquiesce to your wishes. Be mindful of the bully that won’t acquiesce over a period of exhaustive negotiations when forces have been marshaled against him. You might be dealing with a bully that’s willing to destroy himself for the sake of denying you any kind of victory. To prevent from making too many concessions, establish exit points that indicate when you should depart the negotiation. Always be mindful that, the longer you stay engaged in a negotiation, the likelier you are to make concessions to your disadvantage. This is due to the psychological need to see the negotiation to its end. This could be to your severe detriment.

 

  1. Once you’ve achieved your objective(s), over a period of time reengage the bully from a polite perspective and observe how he interacts with you. To the degree the relationship is important to you, be prepared to let him win an encounter, but never let him bully you again. Your prior actions should be engrained in his mind to the point that he’d not want to experience the prior encounter that you two engaged in.

 

  1. As further insight into the affects your engagement has had with a bully, note how those closes to the bully engage with you after an encounter. Their actions will allow you to assess the degree of sting that still resides in the bully.

 

Bullies only pick on those that they perceive to be weaker than themselves. Don’t let a bully perceive weakness in you and he’ll have no target to attack … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #HowToNegotiateWithBully #PreventBullying

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,