Negotiation, Communication and
Body Language Strategies

“How To Negotiate With A Lying Bully” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“To combat a lying bully be willing to bully and lie to him.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

How To Negotiate With A Lying Bully

“How To Negotiate With A Lying Bully”

#LyingBully

All negotiators lie (i.e. by omission if not outright falsehoods), but all negotiators don’t bully other negotiators when negotiating. To negotiate with a lying bully, you must be mentally prepared to thwart his efforts at every turn. After all, a lying bully is worse than someone that attempts to bully you. He’s someone that can inflict mental harm that can lead to negotiation paralysis.

Use the following suggestions the next time you’re confronted by a lying bully in your negotiation.

 

Be aware of how you’re viewed:

A bully may attempt to push you around and lie to you at the negotiation table simply to enhance his persona. If that’s his source of motivation, he may be using you as a reference for what he wants others to think he might do to them. If you sense that he’s using you as a negotiation sparring tune-up, show him that you’re someone to reckon with by posing as the biggest, baddest, most egotistical negotiator he ever came up against. The thought you want to leave him with is, you’re not to be pushed around, lied to, or bullied. You will have flipped his script and sent your own message to others about how you deal with bullies.

 

Be prepared to be deceitful:

There are times when bullies don’t know how others see them until others reflect what they see in them. As such, if you find yourself in a negotiation with a lying bully, be prepared to reflect his actions back to him. You can do that by mirroring his actions and lies. To be more effective when doing so, state lies as truths that he and you know are lies. Become more aggressive than normal and belligerent. Get him to question you as to why you’re engaging in such actions. Let him know that you’re reflecting his actions and see if he adopts a new stance after that. If he doesn’t become stouter in your actions.

 

Understand bully’s source of motivation/power:

A bully knows with whom he can lie and bully and with whom he can’t. Thus, he’s more fearful about lying and bullying some people. Those that he fears can be used as a source that you can use to detract from his efforts. To do so you need to present yourself as a source of power that motivates him. That means you should mimic his motivation source. It’s also akin to using his strength against him.

 

Use leverage:

You’re always more powerful when you have others join you against a bully. To use leverage more effectively, marshal forces that either strongly lean towards the bully’s demeanor or those that combine into a greater force of victims the bully has dealt with. In either case, they’ll be the intrinsic subconscious perception of the lying bully dealing with a greater force. That should allay his efforts of bullying and/or lying to you.

 

There are degrees in which a bully will engage you during a negotiation. The same is true as to the degree he’ll lie. Therefore, to win more negotiations when dealing with someone of that ilk, you must be prepared to do what is required to put a bully in his place … and everything will be right with the world.

 

#LyingBully

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“See Right When Negotiating” – Negotiation Infographic Tip

 

When you negotiate, your perspective is shaped by how you view the elements of the negotiation. Thus, you have to see right when negotiating. Those elements include the way you view the other negotiator (i.e. good, bad, indifferent), the surroundings in which the negotiation occurs (i.e. bright, dark, noisy, quiet), and other elements that may not be present at the negotiation table (i.e. outside pressures, other people, etc). Since so many subconscious variables may be at work during your negotiations, you must bring them to a state of consciousness in order to negotiate more effectively.

 

This week’s negotiation infographic gives a few thoughts to consider before and during your negotiation.

 

See Right When Negotiating

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Negotiation Infographic Tip and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Kick Your Lying Sleeping Dogs” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

Sunday Negotiation Insight”

 

“People only lie to those that allow them. Stop them, and you stop their lies.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Kick Your Lying Sleeping Dogs

 

“Kick Your Lying Sleeping Dogs”

 

Do you let sleeping dogs lie (i.e. don’t challenge them), or do you sleep with the dogs that lie to you (i.e. let them within your environment)? Sleeping dogs are used metaphorically to represent the untrustworthy scoundrels you may deal with.

You should always be mindful of who’s in your inner circle; they’ll have the most influence on you. As such, when it comes to those that you don’t completely trust, you must cast a watchful eye upon them at all times. That diminishes your mental fortitude. In order to function at your highest level, you must be mentally infused with vitality.

So, what should you do with the dogs that nip at the inner consciousness of your soul and rob you of a full sense of happiness and inner peace? The answer, get rid of them or keep them on an emotional leash so you’re not affected by them. That means only deal with them when and if you have to. If the cost is too high, leave the environment that they’re in, no matter how painful or awkward it may be initially. You’ll get over the pain in due time.

The point is, when people lie to you they detract from your quality of life;  detractors come in all forms. Detractors can be dealt with, liars in your inner circle exact a greater toll. Once you expel the liars that are in your midst, you’ll experience less stress and chaos in your life. That will lead to a more fulfilling life … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

 

When negotiating, you should always be aware that the opposing negotiator may lie during the negotiation. Truth be known, most negotiators will lie at some point during a negotiation. This can come in the form of outright lies or lying via omission; some say the latter is not lying. Be mindful of dealing with these people. They may distract you from the path that a question was intended to address. If you sense they’re being evasive, probe to discover what they may not want you to know.

When dealing with a negotiator that outright lies, call him on every lie he tells. That’ll put him on notice that you won’t let him get away with lying to you. It’ll also signal that you won’t be the patsy for his charades.

When dealing with those that lie to you, attempt to rid them from your environment. If you have to deal with them, you might consider concocting the same type of lies they dispense back to them. As you do display a sly look that indicates, “you don’t believe me, do you-you shouldn’t”. If called on your antics, state, that’s what you’re attempting to do to me. Then pose the question to the other negotiator, “are you ready to negotiator forthrightly?” Then, take note of his words but observe his actions more closely. His actions will site to what degree he intends to be truthful. If he does so you will have tamed a liar. Whether he’s a dog or not is up to you to decide J.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Her Body Said No And She Lost The Deal Quickly” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Negotiation Tip of the Week

  

Your body’s mind is shown in your body language. Mind your body language to enhance your mind and your language. – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Her Body Said No And She Lost The Deal Quickly 

 

“Her Body Said No And She Lost The Deal Quickly”

 

She sat outside the office where the meeting was to occur, contemplating what she was going to say. She felt pressure because she knew this deal could be the break that got her business up and running or the source that would cause her business aspirations to become broken. As she practiced what she’d say to the venture capitalists that she would meet shortly, consternation showed on her face. She tried to relax but the more she attempted to do so the more stressed she felt. Then she heard her name called and like a hovercraft barely touching the water, she felt her feet moving barely touching the floor.

 

When she sat before the venture capitalists she stammered as her bumbled words fell incoherently from her mouth. She sat back when she should have set forward, crossed her arms when attempting to display openness, and pressed her palms downward when she spoke about the possible growth of her business. After 9 minutes, one venture capitalist excused himself from the meeting muttering as he departed, “her body said no and because of that, she lost the deal.”

The following are a few body language signals to be aware of.

 

Leaning Away/Forward:

Be mindful as to when you lean away or towards someone. The gesture indicates to what degree you’re in agreement with what they’re saying or how you think they’re perceiving your message. Thus, your gesture will impact the person with whom you’re negotiating, even if it’s on a subconscious level.

 

The best way to use this gesture is to sit back when an offer has been extended that doesn’t please you; you can also sit back in degrees (e.g. learning further back the more you’re displeased or further forward when being pleased). You should also be mindful of not leaning back when being challenged unless you want to send the intentional signal of allowing someone to invade your space. If that’s your intent be aware to what degree the other negotiator takes advantage of that opening.

 

Rubbing Hands/Palms/Thighs:

Your body always seeks a state of comfort. When it’s out of that state, you commit gestures to soothe yourself. Such gestures as rubbing your hands, palms, or thighs is an attempt to put yourself into a more peaceful state. That said, take note when you or the other negotiator accelerates the rubbing of hands. That’s a sign of anticipation. Depending on what’s being discussed, if such a signal is displayed by the other negotiator he’s internalizing the value of obtaining what you’ve offered or preparing for battle. Noticing the timing of his actions is an indication of the power you have at that moment.

 

Tone and Pace of Speech:

You should always be aware when someone quickens or reduces their pace of speech and their tonality. The answer to why they became altered will lie in what was said that caused them to do so. Since the body strives to stay in a state of comfort, the more someone speaks at an accelerated pace the more they’re displaying their sense of urgency or excitement. The exact opposite is the case when they slow their pace. At that time, they’re in more of a reflective or thinking mode. As an aside, good negotiators may use this as a tactic to give the appearance of being reflective while really stalling for time.

 

Your body language impacts your persona and your persona influences those with whom you negotiate. Studies have indicated that up to 87% of communications is conveyed through body language. So, be mindful of the signals your body emits.

 

Suffice it to say, the better you are at reading body language the better you’ll be at communications and negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Body Language and Physiognomics, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Your Words Matter When Negotiating” – Negotiation Infographic Tip

When negotiating, you should choose your words wisely because your words matter when negotiating. A word said at the wrong time can convey a different meaning based on what’s occurring at the moment in the negotiation. Thus, your word choice(s) should be thought out before entering the negotiation and adaptable to the changing circumstances of the negotiation.

This week’s negotiation infographic tip will give you thoughts to ponder as to how you can make your words work for you in a negotiation.

 

Your Words Matter When Negotiating

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Negotiation Infographic Tip and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Who’s On Your Team” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“Sunday Negotiation Insight”

 

“The level you reach is determined by the team you keep.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Its Not That Bad

 

“Who’s On Your Team”

 

There were four people on the team, two females and two males. The females were amicable and so was one of the males. The one that wasn’t amicable appeared to be filled with angst. His brisk temperament diminished the goodwill that the others had established. That pulled the perception of the team’s efforts down, which made the team appear not as stellar as it otherwise would have been.

In the situation above, there really was a team. It was a team of flight attendants on a flight I was on. The one male attendant lessened my enjoyment of the flight by his demeanor. Thus, it only took one person’s efforts to undo the goodwill of that group.

In order to fly higher, you have to consider how others will impact your efforts. If you’re not flying as high as you’d like, consider changing the members of your team. You’ll have to do this multiple times throughout your life; don’t be alarmed. Some people can only fly but so high. As you encounter higher flyers along your life’s journey, they’ll cause you to soar higher too … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Whenever you negotiate you do so as the conglomerate of what you’ve experienced. That’s based on those from your past and those that influence your presence in your present environment. Therefore, you must be very cognizant of those closest to you, especially those that are on your team.

When it comes to negotiations, always be mindful of the image that’s projected by those that are on your team (i.e. work environment, groups you belong to, associates, etc.) To the degree they influence you, you’ll negotiate in a particular manner. To the degree they have a perceptional influence on your negotiation opponent, those on your team can be the source of an easy or difficult negotiation.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Win More Negotiations By Not Negotiating In The Blind” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Always use the light of knowledge to keep you from blindness when negotiating.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert

 

Win More Negotiations By Not Negotiating In The Blind

 

“Win More Negotiations By Not Negotiating In The Blind”

 

When you negotiate, do you know the blind spots in the negotiation? Do you consider what you don’t see, don’t know about the other negotiator, and/or don’t know who else you might be negotiating against that’s not at the negotiation table? If you lack these insights, you’re negotiating in the blind.

Not knowing the answers to the questions posed above is like walking in the dark, you do so blindly. That means you subject yourself to the whims of coincidences that might befall you.

To decrease the probability of being harmed by a lack of forethought before entering into your next negotiation, take heed of the following thoughts.

 

What You Don’t See:

Savvy negotiators are always mindful of what they see during a negotiation, but they take note of what’s not seen/shown in the actions of the other negotiator. The absence of what’s not displayed can be more valuable than what’s displayed. The former can be an attempt to disallow a position from being uncovered.

When you’re negotiating, ask yourself why is he positioning himself in a particular manner? What does he not want me to know? How important is what he’s attempting not to disclose? Posing such questions to yourself will allow you to uncover more of what the other negotiator would rather you not know about.

 

Don’t Know About The Other Negotiator:

When I was a kid, the older kids had a cliché; “what you don’t know won’t hurt you.” Such was the foolishness of childish thoughts.

You should be prepared to address multiple situations anytime you walk into an environment. There’s a greater truth to that when negotiating.

Suffice it to say, the better prepared you are to negotiate with a particular negotiator, the better you’ll be able to negotiate with him. That entails knowing as much as possible about the demeanors he might display during the negotiation, why he might display such demeanors, and how you can use that insight to advantage your negotiation position. If you don’t have a minimum level of insight about his characteristics you’ll accentuate your chances of failure.

 

Who’s Not There:

When negotiating, no one negotiates in a vacuum. That’s to say, there are always outside forces and sources that motivate a negotiator to adopt one action over another.

To the degree you can identify outside sources that might be motivating the other negotiator (i.e. his boss, his desire to please another, accentuate himself, etc.), you will not fully understand why he may be addressing the negotiation in the manner he does.

Before or at the beginning of the negotiation, probe about outside forces that might motivate him per how he’s going to engage in the negotiation. Any information you gather will allow you to negotiate more effectively with him because you’ll have more information about what’s motivating him.

 

Blind Spot Biases:

Do you consider the blind spots you and the other negotiator might have as the result of your biases? Negotiations can be enhanced or worsened by preconceived notions that lurk in the background of a negotiation.

If you sense hidden forces moving the negotiation in directions that are unexplainable, consider bringing up for discussion what you perceive to be potential biases. Keep in mind that you may have to do so because he’s not engaging in the negotiation ‘right’, due to his perception of possible biases stemming from you.

 

No one has crystal-clear vision 100% of the time. But, the more insight you have about the blind spots you might encounter in a negotiation, the better you’ll be able to negotiate … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Mind Control Controls Negotiations” – Negotiation Infographic Tip

Do you think the thoughts you act on are based just on your own thoughts? More than likely, you know your thoughts are shaped by those in the environments you’re in. So, the question becomes, how much control do you have over your mind? When negotiating, are you aware of the mental manipulation that occurs?

Observe the thoughts in this week’s negotiation infographic tip and gain more insight about mind control in a negotiation. The insight you gain can be used in other aspects of your life.

 

Mind Control Controls Negotiations

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Negotiation Infographic Tip and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“What You Call It Matters” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

Sunday Negotiation Insight”

 

“To shape a better perception of the outcome you seek, shape your words more carefully.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

What You Call It Matters

“What You Call It Matters”

 

When thinking about how you’ll position something or someone, you should consider what you’ll call it because using the right language in a situation increases your chances of getting what you really want. That’s to say, you need to consider the words you’ll use to name it, label it, or title it. In doing that, you can position the image of your suggestion in the mind of the person to whom you’re conveying such imagery more concisely. Thus, the way you project such imagery, based on the words you use, will paint a vibrant or gloomy perspective of what you’re stating. Either will enhance or detract from your offer. Neither is good or bad. That’s all dependent on the outcome you seek.

Since what you call something can also convey a sense of urgency or unimportance, or right or wrong, to maximize your efforts, use words that have a specific meaning to the other person as to how you wish him to perceive your meaning; the exception is if you’re attempting to create ambiguity in him.

Suffice it to say, when you’re conveying information you’re shaping the mind of the person that you’re conveying information to. Therefore, you must be aware of the impact your word choices have on that person’s perception and how those words shape his response and following actions.

When you’re involved in future situations whose outcome really matter, consider how you’ll allow yourself to be perceived in a particular manner by considering the words you’ll use to represent yourself and your thoughts. The better you are at doing so the better the outcome will be for you … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Word choices are important in all negotiations. They create a thought process that can serve or hinder the negotiation. They can also serve as a pattern interrupt (i.e. disrupt the current train of thought) when the negotiation is not flowing in an appropriate manner. Thus, words have a profound impact on the thought process of the other negotiator.

To maximize your negotiation outcomes, consider how you’ll use words to create the image that best serves your negotiation plans. The name you use to label your offer matters. So, name/call/label offers what matters most to the other negotiator. In so doing you’ll be leading him down the perfect picture path of his perfect negotiation outcome.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“How To Use Chaos To Win More Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“Chaos and serenity live on the edge of the same coin. Thus, one is dependent upon the other based on the tilting of that coin.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

How To Use Chaos To Win More Negotiations

 

“How To Use Chaos To Win More Negotiations”

 

Chaos is thought to be bad in situations. That’s because most people like peace and serenity in their environment. The latter is why you can win more negotiations by using chaos properly and at the right time.

Continue reading to discover how you can use chaos to win more negotiations.

 

Defining Chaos:

Before attempting to deploy chaos in your negotiation, you need to understand what the other negotiator perceives to be chaos. If she’s an astute negotiator, one that’s accustomed to dealing with lots of negotiation tactics and strategies, she may not be flustered by your attempts to instill chaos into the negotiation. As such, she may identify your efforts as the tactic that it is and turn it against you. On the other hand, if she’s someone that seeks nonconfrontational environments, you can attempt to use chaos as a way to make her conform to your plan for the negotiation.

 

Serenity:

If serenity is sought by the opposing negotiator, insert chaotic situations into the negotiation when he seeks serenity the most (e.g. things are going well and you make an outlandish request that you know he’d never accept). You would do this to test his fortitude as to what he’ll accept and what he’ll fight for. Therefore, the degree and kind of chaos used should be determined by the amount of pressure you’re attempting to cast upon him, which in part is dependent on his level of tolerance for chaos. Remember, this tactic works best if the other negotiator is somewhat tired or worn-down. He’ll be more susceptible to this tactic when he’s in such a physiological state because he’ll be deprived of his mental clarity and agility due to his diminished state of awareness and consciousness.

 

Predictability:

Don’t be predictable, unless you want to be perceived as being predictable.

People love to deal with others that are predictable. They don’t mind if someone is good or bad as defined by the situation you’re applying the definition to. All they seek is predictability. That’s because, when someone is predictable less mental effort is required to predict their potential behavior.

To use predictability as a supplement to chaos, zig when you’re expected to zag. Then, if the opposing negotiator suspects you’re zigging when you’re expected to zag, change up again by doing exactly what he expected you to do. Once he feels he ‘understands your pattern’, you can restart the unexpected zigging and zagging. By doing so, you’ll decrease your predictability and cause additional angst in him, which will lead him to become more disdainful of the negotiation. Given that fact, you should be in a power position when doing so (i.e. able to engage in such actions without retribution), because you need to be somewhat accurate with your predictions of how he’ll react to your efforts. Thus, if predictability as an aide to chaos is not used adroitly, you could end up sending the negotiation into a tailspin. That might prove to be chaotic for you.

 

In your negotiations, if you use chaos as a tool in which serenity resides on the other side and the other negotiator seeks serenity as the result of you doing so, you’ll definitely win more negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,