“How To Display Massive Confidence By Your Body Language“
Your body speaks. It does so through the body language you display to others. Through that, they assess the degree of confidence you possess.
He walked painfully slow and hunched over – people gaped at him as soon as he entered the room. His pace suggested that he wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere fast. When he spoke, he did so in a low tone that caused others to lean in to hear what he was saying. After he departed, one individual in the room to whom he was attempting to sell his company’s latest product said, “and that’s the sale’s rep they sent to represent their company – they must be having serious problems.”
I’m willing to bet that you didn’t think our slow-walking, slow-talking person was a sales rep. You most likely have an image of salespeople being full of vigor. When your body language doesn’t match expectations, your intent can become misperceived. Worse, others might assume you lack confidence.
The following are ways that you can convey more confidence in the way you use your body language.
When you feel threatened, your body contracts. That’s the body’s way of making itself a smaller target. Thus, when you walk hunched over, you’re signaling that you feel unsafe.
To project more confidence, walk erect. Hold your head high and your shoulders back. That’ll signal fearlessness. You’ll become perceived as possessing more physical and mental strength. At that moment, others will be less likely to challenge you and more open to listening to you.
Through their pace, fast walking people indicate that they have someplace to be. They’re on the move. Their gesture suggests that they possess energy – energy is something others sense. It’s something that attracts attention.
When walking into a room, walk at a quickened pace – you’ll command attention. Movement attracts our eye. The faster that movement, the more riveting our attention will become to that motion.
The receiver of a handshake makes assumptions about its deliverer. That’s due to the nonverbal information dispatched through handshakes. With a weak handshake, the receiver might assume the deliverer is weak of will. He might also assume that he can manhandle the deliverer.
When shaking hands, consider the message you’re sending. Based on the nonverbal message you wish to transmit, consider shaking someone’s hand based on the firmness of their handshake.
When people meet for the first time, a handshake will usually last for three up-and-down movements. If it’s longer, that may suggest that there’s a powerplay at hand. That means, the person holding the other person’s hand the longest is attempting to exude control. Most likely, he’ll attempt to maintain that control throughout the engagement.
An unintended weak voice suggests that the speaker lacks commitment or possesses insecurities. Whenever you wish to sound convincing, use a louder and stronger voice. Raise it a few octaves above your normal speaking voice. That’ll be enough to convey commitment about what you’re saying. You can also add a deeper tone on words you wish to emphasize. That will give those words more meaning. It’ll also enhance the perception of your gravitas.
Smiles and Frowns:
A smile displayed at the appropriate time adds additional meaning to your words. It can turn a sarcastic remark into one of puzzlement (i.e. what did she mean by that). A smile can also deepen a relationship through the warmth of conveyance.
A frown can be very potent. If you wish to display dissatisfaction with someone’s words, let a frown represent your thoughts. By not using words, that person will wonder to what degree you’re dissatisfied with his pronouncements. If he’s not astute, he’ll begin giving you unexpected information.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Knowing how to read and use body language will give you an advantage in a negotiation. Being able to read and use body language accurately will extend that advantage … and everything will be right with the world.
“How To Be A Better Solution Versus Issue Negotiator”
As a negotiator, do you consider the perspective of the other person? Do you assess to what degree he’s an issue versus solution-based negotiator? You should consider those questions. Because it will determine how he and you negotiate and the points he’ll stick to. Negotiators that are issue-based negotiate differently than solution-based negotiators.
In this article, you’ll discover why there are different styles of negotiations based on the issue versus solution sought outcomes. You’ll also gain insight to identify one style versus the other – and how to deal with either.
An issue-based negotiator is primarily concerned with promoting a cause that he’s defending. That makes him less likely to be open to logic or reasoning. And he’s usually the front-person for a larger entity that’s backing him. Example – as of this writing 97% of Americans would like to see more stringent gun background checks, measures to address that are blocked in the U.S. Senate by the gun lobby. Why? Because the gun lobby spends millions of dollars in campaign contributions to ensure politicians prevent such measures from becoming laws. Thus, to negotiate effectively, an entity needs to amass a force that’s equally as strong as the gun lobby – and one that’s willing to make equal monetary contributions. That’s how you’d offset the power of the gun lobby.
Therefore, when negotiating against an issue-based negotiator, consider looking for the weakness that lies in his supporters. They’re the source of his power and the power that you must address first. The negotiation strategies you use to do so will depend on the tenacity displayed by them to maintain their position. Your goal is to unseat them from their position.
Solution-based negotiators are a different breed from their issue-based counterparts. The former enters the negotiation genuinely seeking a solution. That’s not to say that the issue-based negotiator doesn’t seek a solution. He’s more zealous about getting you to agree with his position and less yielding. The solution-based negotiator is more flexible in his give-and-take to unearth solutions.
When negotiating with a solution-based individual, expose as much of your desires as you deem appropriate. Encourage him to do the same. Convey a genuine ambition to seek a mutually beneficial outcome. And display an openness that allows him to sense that he’s in a safe space. You want him to recognize that you won’t take advantage of him. The more secure he feels, the more information he’ll disclose about his position. To enhance this process, if you encounter misunderstandings, consider excepting the blame for it. Again, you should gear your efforts towards making him feel safe. Allowing him to experience blamelessness will enhance those efforts.
There is a point of caution to interject. If you sense your opponent views your willingness to be accommodating as weakness, stiffen your position. Become less tolerant and less forgiving. Throughout every negotiation, one is constantly positioning oneself. Make sure you’re constantly monitoring how you’re perceived and the adjustment the other negotiator makes. In turn, observe how he’s constantly repositioning himself per how he wishes you to perceive him.
Good negotiators attempt to advantage their position before they enter a negotiation. Less knowledgeable negotiators don’t seek such advantages. They become prey as a result of their haphazard negotiation ways. To gain an advantage in future negotiations, take into consideration whether you’ll be negotiating against an issue or solution-based negotiator. Doing so will give you insight into the type of plans to develop for the negotiation. That will give you a real advantage … and everything will be right with the world.
“Danger: Are You Being Easily Stopped By Your Thoughts”
He looked around and had a sense of foreboding. He wasn’t sure why the feeling existed nor its source. But he felt the grip of danger – as he became paralyzed by immobility. Suddenly, the alarm clock sounded. It was then that he realized he was having a bad dream – or was he? He wondered what the thoughts of his dream meant.
Thoughts can move you to action – they can also stop you. How then might you know when to act and when to allow inactivity to be supreme? This article gives you insights about that. It highlights when to stop and when to move forward on your thoughts.
Perception of Thoughts:
Some thoughts are more profound than others – they secrete an inner sense of urgency. You may not be able to identify why you have a sensation, but don’t ignore it. More than likely, you’re sensing some form of motivation that’s beckoning your attention. Attempt to hone the source of those signals. Once identified, the hidden message may reveal itself. If you can’t identify it, let it rest – if it subsides and doesn’t return, it may lack importance – if it resurrects itself, there may be more substance to it. Once again, seek to understand its summoning trigger – this time give it more credence in your attempt to identify its meaning. There’s a reason it’s calling you – identify it.
“I knew that was going to happen. I had a sense of Déjà vu.” Have you had such sensations – whereby you felt like you were reliving an experience that you were encountering for the first time? If so, that was most likely your intuition motioning to you.
When you’re unaware of a sensational experience, it may reside at a subconscious level – it doesn’t register within your state of consciousness. Nevertheless, when such emotional signals reach for your attention, take note – like motion, your attention seeks to assess potential danger – your body wants to be in a state of comfort.
Once you make an assessment and determine that you’re in a safe space, resume your normal activities. Do so only if your actions are moving towards your goals. If they’re not, question why your thoughts were drawn to what you’re contemplating – was there a message that you overlooked? Before dismissing the thought, make sure you’re not dismissing a call to action. If you identify that call, you will have identified the intent of your intuition.
You can also gain insight from your past actions – they should be based on your prior emotional queues. Just remember that previous circumstances may not lead to the same outcomes in the future. In observing your past action history, note similarities in your previous thought process and how they might align with your present thoughts. The real purpose of assessing your action history is to have it assist in raising your dominant thought to prominence. They’ll be points as to which direction to take in your assessment.
In every aspect of your life, your thoughts are what leads you upon one path versus another. As you learn to control your thoughts, you’ll discover new ways to put yourself on a better path … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
In a negotiation, your thought process causes you to conflate past occurrences with present situations. Thus, based on the outcome sought in the current negotiation, your assessment will cause you to adopt one action versus another. Therefore, by quickly making an assessment about the danger or lack of in a situation, you become more adaptable in the negotiation. And that will give you an edge in every negotiation you’re in.
“Are You Cruel When You Weaponize Time In Your Negotiation“
For the last three months, the two teams negotiated fiercely against each other – they were vicious – they lost the pretense of civility after the first month. At times, flared tempers had driven them to cruelty. Then, out of frustration or despair, the lead negotiator of one team said to his counterpart, in an extremely cruel tone, either you accept our offer within the next three days or we’ll leave this negotiation and never return! With that edict, time was weaponized. He’d unleashed a ticking time bomb that would blow the negotiation up unless someone defused the situation. And, the way he made his pronouncement left him no wiggle room to save face.
How do you use time to advance your negotiation position – it’s one of the most precious commodities a negotiator has. The following thoughts are ideas about how you can use time to enhance your efforts.
Some negotiators attempt to use time to create a sense of urgency (e.g. sale ends tomorrow, get it now – I only have ‘x’ amount of time to conclude this deal). In those situations, its use is an attempt to force the opposing negotiator to take immediate specific actions. The challenge is, what to do if the action sought doesn’t occur by the stated deadline – you’re left in a weakened position if you must present a lame excuse for why the deal is still available. Unless you’re ready to confront the consequences, don’t make hard-time declarations like the leader of team one.
When you use time deadlines to create a sense of urgency, leave yourself wiggle room to escape if your demands go unmet. To do that, instead of stating a hard deadline (e.g. the sale ends tomorrow) state a softer one (e.g. the sale is ending soon). The sense of urgency is not as great in the second situation – but you’re less likely to back yourself into a corner.
Overcoming Imposed Deadlines:
Deadlines can lead a negotiation to a slow death. Thus, you must be careful when they’re issued. When confronted by a time deadline –
Watch your time – Be mindful of the time you invest in the negotiation. Psychologically, the more time you spend negotiating, the more likely you’ll be to stay engaged. That can make you more susceptible to falling prey to time constraints. If you don’t think the negotiation has redemption, exit it. And do that sooner versus later.
Control emotions – When negotiating, the more you control your emotions, the more control you’ll have of the negotiation. Time is a factor that weighs on a negotiator’s mind. Thus, to combat it, control its perspective and the emotional stress it places on you. Never let time go unobserved – that’s a factor of control.
Have a backup – You can relieve pressure when you have alternative options – having them can be the release valve to the pressure of time. If you have alternative options and you suspect the other negotiator may be weaponizing time, don’t expose your backup plans (e.g. if I can’t get it from you, I can get it from the other dealer – and it may be less) – Doing that may momentarily stun the other negotiator but you will have also given him another point to attack you (i.e. finding out how viable your backup might be). If need be, let his deadline pass and see what he does. He’ll expose his strategy by disclosing how sincere the deadline was.
In every negotiation, negotiators seek actions to control their counterpart – weaponizing time is one of those actions. To be more successful in your negotiations, be observant of time, know what to do when you’re confronted by time deadlines, and be cautious when issuing them. Time is a negotiator’s precious commodity, use it wisely … and everything will be right with the world.
“How Forgiving Is Your Mind – This Is What Matters”
How long do you allow negativity to grip you in the jaws of despair – hold you mind hostage to situations that make you cling to slights that others thrust upon you? If you hold negative thoughts for an extended time, it might be to your detriment?
Anytime you allow lingering negative thoughts to affect your mood, your mannerisms, or your actions, you allow others to control you. Thus, at times, you must exercise forgiveness to release such anxieties – at other times, you must take aggressive actions.
The following are thoughts to help you assess when to engage in forgiveness and when not to.
Let it go:
Everything that’s perceived as being negative, isn’t. Thus, you must assess what is real versus perceived negativity – that perception will, in part, be based on your current state of mind. That’s why it’s important to mend your mind by not allowing too much of the past to cloud your current judgment – it matters to your wellbeing.
Release thoughts that debilitate your mind (e.g. they’ll never let me move into a higher position – they don’t like people like me – I remember the outcome the last time something like this occurred). Some thoughts don’t serve you. Even if such things bring past indiscretions to mind, don’t conflate them with your current situation – that was then and this is now.
By separating the past and present, you insulate your current thoughts from the past – that disallows your past thoughts from afflicting your current thinking. It also frees you to release thoughts that don’t serve you and replace them with those that are more uplifting. In turn, that will take you to a higher mental sanctuary, which will allow you to have a more positive perspective.
When not to let it go:
If someone or something is preventing you from achieving your desired goal, challenge them! Fear not for fear’s sake. If you subscribe to attaining an objective, you must do what’s necessary to advance forward. To the degree that it’s important, when others block your path out of spite or unrighteousness, don’t be forgiving – be persistent in moving them aside. There is a time for forgiveness – this is not it!
When it comes to your success and security if you let threats go unabated, you’ll only be postponing future dread. By not addressing situations that outright pose potential harm, you emboldened the source of that threat. If left unaddressed, it may swell to become the cause of your demise.
When something was too threatening, something that caused you to summon more courage, you did so. In so doing you realized, without struggle, you had no advancement. Don’t stop now when confronted by a daunting roadblock – that’s nothing more than a test to encourage you to display more courage – move on, go higher!
By controlling your mind, you control your thoughts, which allows you to control your actions. Control will keep you in a better mental place. You’re the master-of-your-fate. Knowing when to forgive and when not to will help you maintain that domain … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
During a negotiation, you can become overwhelmed by emotions – emotions that lead to thoughts of retribution. Unless there’s a sincere need for such, don’t let negative thoughts lead to emotions that cloud your judgment. They’ll saddle you with unneeded consternation as you go deeper into the negotiation.
Being able to forgive perceived slights can be a gift in a negotiation – it can free your mind to think more freely. Knowing when to move against such slights can also be beneficial. Thus, knowing when to adopt the right action is paramount. Therefore, when weighing a conflicting negative thought that might debilitate your mind ask yourself, does this matter? If it doesn’t, be forgiving – let it go.
He was pompous, screamed at others while demeaning them, and not well-liked – most of his associates detested him! Some wondered if that was why he’d been stuck in the same management position for over a decade. Plus, he was not a good negotiator – he lacked insight on how to use power. He used bullying tactics with his subordinates (i.e. you’d better do this or else), and veiled threats to delude his peers to get what he wanted. Everyone collectively swore they’d get even with him. And one day they did.
Do you know how to be a powerful negotiator?
Sources of Power and How To Use It:
Voice inflection – There’s power, or lack of, in the way you speak. You can make a statement that sounds like a question or a question that sounds like a statement simply by the inflection in your voice. To sound more powerfully, apply a deeper tone to your voice when emphasizing words of greater importance. This is especially true when negotiating. A deeper tone on, that’s my best price, conveys more conviction to your statement.
Positioning – Whether it’s your physical proximity to others or the proximity of your words, what proceeds your words impacts their perception. Therefore, be mindful of when you speak. If you speak after someone has delivered a rousing proposal, your words may be received with less enthusiasm. The same is true of your physical proximity to others. If you’re physically close to someone with power, your words will carry greater weight simply because of that proximity. Others will assume that there’s a sense of power bestowed upon you from the power person in the environment.
When negotiating, consider the order of your offers and their alignment with people of power. You can also make a prior offer appear to be better by downgrading the one that follows it – in that case, your message states that the trajectory of the offers to follow will become progressively worse.
Manipulation – A negotiator can gain momentary power through manipulation (for this purpose, the word manipulation is neutral – it’s not good or bad). One can use it to feed the other negotiator’s desires by embellishing the item he seeks from you. By doing that, you heighten his sense to acquire it.
To embellish an item, highlight how the other negotiator will feel, and/or appear to others once he’s acquired it. Take note of his body language as you make your summation. If he slips into a dream-like state while smiling and becoming dreamy-eyed, he’s also imagining the great sensation he’ll experience once he’s acquired your offer – you got him! Continue down that path and extract whatever he’s willing to forgo to acquire the offer. Be careful not to turn embellishment into a lie. That might come back to haunt you.
Likeability – Never underestimate the hidden value of likeability. It’s a factor that has swayed many negotiators. I’ve seen lower offers accepted because of it. It’s easy to be likable with most people – just be pleasant. Warning – with some bully types, you’ll have to meet power with power. Thus, the likeability factor may be a detriment. Instead, seek to become respected – respect will be the source that cedes greater power to you.
You’re always negotiating:
In the situation with the manager, mentioned at the beginning of this article, others did exact their toll on him. It occurred when subordinates and his peers combined forces – they informed senior management that they’d no longer work with him. The manager didn’t realize that he’d been negotiating with those folks during his tenure with the company. He used his power recklessly. And now their power was coming to bear against him – senior management fired him.
I love to observe people with power. To be specific, I note how they use it, to whom they extend it, and how they’re altered by it. It’s said that power doesn’t change you – it amplifies who you really are. To that point, always keep in mind, the way you treat people impacts their perception of you. Thus, if they perceive you as an ogre, they’ll be less inclined to assist you in achieving your goals. Therefore, use the sources of power as partners in your negotiations – they’ll increase the perception of you being a powerful person. That will lead to more powerful negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.
“How To Ask Powerful Questions To The Right People”
She looked at him and became emotionally aroused with each passing moment. Finally, she said, “who are the right people that can answer my questions?” The customer service rep that she was speaking to sheepishly said, “mam, I’m not sure – I just started working here last week.”
How many times have you found yourself exasperated over an unresolved situation? Did you take a moment to examine why you were upset? Such situations usually stem from four possibilities:
You have the wrong demeanor
You’re not speaking to the right person
You ask the wrong question
You’re not asking powerful questions
The following will assist you in addressing all four of those factors.
No matter with whom you’re speaking, your demeanor will determine how they interact and respond to you. Thus, your demeanor needs to match the situation. If you display one that’s weak, in the face of a strong personality type, she may dismiss you as not being relevant. If you position yourself through your demeanor as someone that’s significantly above the other individual, he may become uncooperative.
To adopt the best demeanor, before making your approach observe the other person’s mannerisms – assess their feelings and the kind of day they may be having. Based on your assessment, if it’s appropriate, look for ways to compliment them. If they’re in ‘rush mode’, be pleasant and get to the point with your questions.
The overarching point is, position yourself right before posing your questions and you will have won half the battle.
Speaking To The Wrong Person/People:
It’s ludicrous to think you can get the right solution by talking to the wrong person. So, before seeking assistance, inquire about the person’s ability to grant your request. If he states that he can’t offer a solution, ask who can.
The point is, don’t waste time presenting questions to someone that can’t provide a solution. Doing so will only further exasperate you. It will also cause you to be less tolerant with the person that can provide a solution to your situation.
Asking The Wrong Question:
Depending on the circumstances, it may be correct to ask someone if they can assist you or who’s in charge – posing such questions will begin the engaging process. But if you know with whom you should speak to obtain a resolution to your concerns, don’t dilly dally – get to the point.
Asking if someone has the responsibility or authority to assist you indicates that you’re not familiar with the environment. Use more powerful questions such as those that follow to improve your position.
Asking Powerful Questions:
The very first question you ask sets the tone for the discussion to follow. And it should be a question that’s posed to the right person – the person that can grant your request. Thus, the question must be dynamic – one that places you in a position of authority and control. And, as an aside, authority doesn’t have to mean that the other person must sing your praises – it means that he cares enough to assist you. To solicit his support, ask such questions as:
How quickly might you resolve this situation (the assumption being he has the authority and he’s going to resolve your problem)?
How much of a rebate/discount might I receive to rectify this situation (this question suggests that you’re seeking restitution)?
When I speak with a ‘higher authority’, how would you like me to represent our interaction (this question can border on intimidation – be cautious about its use – never attempt to intentionally bully or demean someone – that can cause an unforeseen and unimagined backlash)?
There’s power in the way you ask questions and to whom you pose them. Thus, if you ask the right questions in the right manner at the right time, you’ll experience the right outcome more frequently … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Questions are the backbone of negotiations. Therefore, by asking the right question in the right situation, you enhance your chances of getting the answers that lead to a better negotiation outcome. Never overlook the power of posing the right questions to the right people. Asking the right questions can be your silent ally.
“Powerful Body Language Secrets That You Need To Know”
He was overly impressed with her and her accomplishments. His embrace was meant to display just that – his swell of pride for her. But during the embrace, he felt her attempt to break free as a hostage might do at the first glimpse of freedom. He wondered what he’d done wrong. Later he commented to her about the embrace – and the perception he had of her breaking free. She smiled and said, at least you were aware of it – most people aren’t. I don’t like being hugged.
How attuned are you to the #body #language #secrets that people emit every day? If you are aware of such signals, what do you observe the most and why?
The following are a few body language insights that will allow you to understand people better and become a better communicator.
The gesture becomes displayed when someone shifts their head to the right or left after its been in a straight or opposite position. It’s interesting to note when it occurs because it denotes someone going into an inward evaluation. Thus, the gesture may originate from something you said or thoughts the person is contemplating.
One eyebrow cocked – This sign usually indicates inquisitiveness as to the possible believability of what’s said or outright skepticism.
Lowered eyebrows – Guarded, deception, annoyance, are the signs that this gesture indicates.
Raised eyebrows – Taking in more of the environment – can also denote surprise or interest (note the degree that the eyes widen – that’ll give you more information as to the thought of the person displaying the gesture.)
Palm Hand Gestures:
Hand up, palm facing out –The hand up and palm facing outward signals nonverbally to the other person to halt what they’re saying or doing. As the receiver of that action, you can gauge the degree of the intent by the distance the action extends from the other person’s body. As an example, if they commit the action and their hand is close to their body, the signal is not as strong as if they had a full-body extension of their hand – that would be a stronger gesture because they’re indicating a greater distance between themselves and what you’re saying or doing.
Palm up and open – Accepting, mentally open to receiving information – can also be internal mental contemplation. It can also be a sign of consternation – this occurs if hunched shoulders accompany the gesture.
As a body language signal, feet convey more information than most people are aware of. Thus, you should always be mindful of what someone’s feet are signaling.
Feet aligned – When your feet are in alignment with the person with whom you’re engaged (i.e. both sets of feet are pointing at each other), both of you are succinctly engaged with one another – you’re in mental alignment.
Foot pointing away – As someone points a foot away from you, they’re shifting their weight because:
Something else has attracted their attention.
They’ve received enough information from you for the time.
Soon, they’re going to exit the conversation and do so in the direction their foot is pointed in.
Take note of when such gestures occur. Doing so will allow you the insight to shift and control the conversation.
At the beginning of this article, I posed the question of how attuned are you to the body language secrets that people emit every day. As you see, there are many signals that you might observe. And, if you’re aware when such signals occur, you’ll have greater insight into the mindset of the people you interact with. That will allow you to better understand them and communicate more effectively. Plus, it’ll give you an insider’s roadmap into their thought process and where it’s headed. That too will allow you to help them upon their journey or exit because you choose not to accompany them. Either way, you’ll have greater control of the environments you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.
He had a stomach swirling feeling. It was an internal alarm indicating that he was out of his comfort zone. At that point, he didn’t feel overly exasperated. Nevertheless, he knew he had to control his level of discomfort. He knew such feelings matters to one’s emotional wellbeing.
Are you aware of when your state of comfort is challenged – when your levels of uneasiness begin to alter your perspective and behavior? You should – those are the points at which you might begin to engage in negative behavior. And that’s why it matters.
The following are thoughts to consider to improve your comfort level and enhance your mental wellbeing. You’ll also uncover insights about your thought process. That will allow you to discover more about what matters to you and why.
Importance of Comfort:
Comfort, it’s something you constantly seek but don’t think a lot about until you become uncomfortable. You should note it more frequently. Because when it’s altered, your stability and wellbeing can become mired in self-emotional conflict. That can make you feel awkward in some environments. Not only should you know your level and degree of comfort, but you should also know what triggers it to go up or down. That insight allows you to gain greater control of yourself and the environments you’re in.
Going forward, note your emotional change based on your environments. Seek to understand why you feel more comfortable in some situations versus others. Before entering those that might cause you to experience discomfort, think about how you might obtain greater control of yourself and the environment. Look for common variables that you can use to become emboldened to assist in your assessment. By doing that, you’ll become empowered and gain an insightful introspection about yourself.
In considering your state of comfort, consider your current state of mind. Ask yourself why you have such feelings – what caused them – and what you might be associating from past occurrences that may be shadowing your perception. If you’re conflating past occurrences, especially if they’re negative, realize that you might be placing too much emphasis on the past. Separate the occurrence. Assess whether it causes the degree of angst as before the separation. You will have begun to control past triggers that might negatively sway your perspective. Doing that should allow you to become more at ease.
Controlling Your Mind Controls The Environment:
Before entering an environment, you have expectations about what might occur – how you might feel and what you might do. If it’s a new environment, you might experience a higher degree of angst than those that you’re more familiar with. Regardless of your emotional state, reassure yourself that more than likely you’ll live through the situation that you’ll find yourself in. Thus, there’s nothing worse than death that’ll occur to you. Anything other than that is okay. So, assuage your mind – focus on the fact that you’ll learn something from being in that surrounding. By thinking like that, you’ll relieve the pressure from overthinking what might occur and how you’ll fair. That should allow you to mentally perceive yourself as flowing freer in the environment. You’re going to be a rock star … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
The negotiation process is about comfort and discomfort. When a negotiator feels comfortable about an offer or concession, he’s more likely to continue upon the same path. Conversely, one can use pain and discomfort as a tool to motivate the opposing negotiator to alter the path he’s on. Thus, the tool of comfort and how it’s used during a negotiation is something that you should give with great consideration. If you overlook it, you overlook an ally that you can use to advantage your negotiation position. Smart negotiators don’t waste this tool. Are you a smart negotiator?
“Killer Insights That Will Make You A Better Negotiator”
There are factors that determine the degree of success you’ll have in a #negotiation. Those factors are what will also make you a good #negotiator or one that’s significantly better. The following are a few of those #killer #insights and how to use them to your advantage in a negotiation. Using them will ensure that you have a #better negotiation outcome.
Where you negotiate can have hidden advantages for the person controlling that environment. But there are also ways to control an environment that you’re not in control of.
Your environment – When you control the environment, you can control the temperature, lighting, and other creature features that would make one more comfortable while negotiating. If the negotiation becomes tense, you can increase or lower the temperature in the environment to coincide with the adjustments you want the other negotiator to make (e.g. he gets heated, you turn the room temperature up or down to make him hotter or colder).
Not your environment – When you don’t have control of the environment, if things become intense, you can offer to change venues. If it’s accepted, you will gain the advantage of not being in the environment that the other negotiator controlled. Plus, he will have allowed you to take the lead simply by his acquiesces.
The way you position yourself before a negotiation determines how someone perceives you – it will also play an important role in the way you’re treated. If you position yourself as a tough guy, a tough guy negotiator type may treat you harshly – that’s his form of protecting against you perceiving him as being weak. If you position yourself as being weak, the tough guy may attempt to take advantage of you, while the weak type of negotiator may become emboldened to become more aggressive.
For the best positioning, consider the negotiation style (e.g. hard, soft, meek, bully) that your opponent may use – and assess which negotiation style you should adopt to offset any advantages he might gain from negotiating in that manner.
Control – You command a negotiation by the degree of control you exercise. When appropriate, you can give the impression that you’re led by the other negotiator – you might wish to do that to gain insights into where he’ll take you with his control. You might also do it to put him at ease – less powerful negotiators become fearful when they sense they’re up against a more knowledgeable negotiator – letting him lead will allay his fears of being dominated by you.
Offers – Some negotiators will insist on getting a concession for everyone they make. You don’t have to do that. Depending on the negotiator type you’re negotiating with, consider saving the chits you gain from making concessions and using them in a combined force (e.g. I’ve given you this and that and I’ve not asked for anything. Will you please give me this?) – Accumulating concessions in this manner and calling in the chits earned from them can become a very strong persuader for the other negotiator to make concessions. Just be sure not to grant too many of them before making your request. The more concessions you make without getting a return, the more likely it becomes that they will lose their full value.
No matter the type of negotiation you’re going to be in or find yourself in, using the above insights will improve your negotiation abilities. And, it will improve your negotiation outcomes. So, always be mindful of how and when you use them … and everything will be right with the world.