Latest "Emotional Intelligence" Posts

“Are You There Yet” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“Perception is driven by attitude and attitude is driven by desire. To be more successful in life, you must allow your attitude and desire to be driven by actions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Are You There Yet”

 

“Don’t blame me for your mediocrity when you’re not willing to take the actions required for greater success.” That was the retort exchanged between two individuals that shared a relationship.

To advance in life, one must be willing to take the actions required to move from one position to another. It’s okay to dream, but until you put your dreams into actions, they’re nothing more than images in your mind; they’ll never become your reality. Worse, if not acted on, they could turn into nightmares.

When seeking greater achievements, you must be mentally prepared to enact the actions necessary for those achievements. One achievement becomes a steppingstone to higher achievements. Thus, you should never view yourself as reaching a final-destination, because if you have life, you should seek to achieve more in life. By doing so, you leave a doorway through which knowledge and future opportunities may enter.

Understand that a hopeless mind doesn’t serve you. It’ll leave you in a state of hopeless situations. You’ll be drained by your mental energy leakage, which otherwise could serve as fuel to lift you higher.

You create your own success in life. Where you are today is not where you were yesterday. Where you’ll be tomorrow is the design that you engage in today. That means you’re the person in control of your life. So, if you don’t like yourself or where you are, change it! You have the power, you have the control. Exercise that power and control to take yourself to a better place.

Here’s the point, even if you’re in a very happy and successful place in life, life will change. That means, what exists today will not exist tomorrow. Thus, you must constantly change with life. Once you do, you’ll become part of the evolution of life … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

The outcome of many negotiations is somewhat of a foregone conclusion before they start. That’s due to the mindset the negotiators possess as they prepare and enter the negotiations.

If you constantly seek to advance a negotiation, based on the determination you display to achieve your quest (this would occur in the planning and implementation stages of the negotiation), you’ll be empowered with more confidence. The other negotiator will perceive your confidence and address you in a more serious manner.

Never shortchange yourself in a negotiation by thinking that the other party has more resources from which to out-negotiate you. That may be true but remember, David slayed Goliath. He did so by adopting a strategy that gave him an advantage; that began with David’s mental attitude and adopting a strategy to achieve his goals. It’s the strategies that you employ in a negotiation that will give you an advantage too. The first strategy starts with the way you think. Don’t limit yourself by possessing limiting thoughts.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“How To Combat Bullies That Use Disinformation When Negotiating” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“The difference between disinformation and a lie is the degree that one doesn’t want to disclose the truth.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book

 

“How To Combat Bullies That Use Disinformation When Negotiating”

 

“He said there were four other companies competing for the contract. He told us that we’d better submit a very low bid if we wanted to be the winner. Later, I discovered there were no other companies bidding. He used disinformation to get us to lower our bid.” That was the information disclosed in a debriefing session after members from an organization had engaged in what they thought was a negotiation opportunity to acquire additional business.

Bullies use disinformation in negotiations to enhance their negotiation position; this can be anyone in a perceived position of authority, be they in that position for a short or long-term. Some people label disinformation as lying. The difference between the two is the severity with which the bully wishes to keep you uninformed via the information he delivers to you. It’s very important to confront the bully when you become aware that he’s using disinformation tactics because, if you don’t confront him, you lay yourself bare to more deceit.

Here’s how you can confront, combat, and conquer a bully that utilizes the tactics of disinformation in your negotiations.

 

Confront

First, identify why the bully is using disinformation as a tactic. Understand what he’s attempting to conceal and what he believes he’ll achieve by doing so.

Once you have a handle on what you believe his intent is, verify your assumptions by confronting him with them. Note how he responds to your queries. While misinformation (i.e. he’s misinformed) can be thought of as him possessing unintended callousness, disinformation is more strategic. In using disinformation, the bully is signaling that he’s going to be more devious in dealing with you.

 

Combat:

One way to combat a bully that employs the tactic of disinformation is to use the tactic on him. It’s even better if he knows that you’re using it. You can state to him that you’re doing so because, if he’s not going to be forthright, then you won’t be either. You can adopt a stern body posture/image to enhance your message. Just be aware that this may take the negotiation into a territory fraught with angst. Thus, you should weigh the degree that you combat him against the possibility of completely alienating him.

 

Conquer:

To conquer the opposing negotiator that’s using this ploy, be prepared to combat him until he relinquishes its use. That may require using leverage to ‘out’ him to others about his usage, along with stating that you won’t allow yourself to be treated in such a manner. It may also require that you threaten to end the negotiation if he persists. Recognize that you’re playing hardball at that time and to win, you may have to get bloodied and/or dirty.

 

Negotiating with someone that uses disinformation as his ally can be a vexing proposition. The better you can identify this tactic, and the reason it’s being employed against you, the faster you’ll be able to address it. That will help you determine how and to what degree to continue in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#Management #SmallBusiness #Money #useDisinformation #disinformation #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Body Language and Physiognomics, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“When Should You Act More Like A Stubborn Child” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“Childlike behavior can be advantageous to adults when adults use them in an adult-like manner.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book.

 

“When Should You Act More Like A Stubborn Child”

 

“He was told that he should not act like a stubborn child. Then he became more obstinate.” Those were the words exchanged by associates as they discussed the behavior of a friend of theirs.

 

When they were children, most adults possessed a limitless amount of imagination and a boundless degree of determination. As they became older, more mature, their childlike actions were abandoned so that they could be perceived as fitting into their environments. Unknowingly, conformity to those environment norms may have cost them opportunities.

Do you recall your childhood? When you sought a specific outcome, how determined were you to achieve it? How many ‘adult rules’ did you break in your efforts to uncover the solution to your quest? Then, you got older and supposedly wiser, which meant, you left those childish ways behind. Truth be known, those childish ways served you well then and they can serve you well, now.

When you find yourself in situations that you really want to get to the bottom of why certain actions occurred, or if you want to enhance the probability of a particular outcome, be persistent in uncovering a solution.

The point is, you will only receive in life what your actions indicate you’re willing to put forth to achieve. If something is denied you and you don’t put up a fight to get it, you send the signal to the holder of that source that what you sought wasn’t really that important to you. Either way, you’ve set the stage for future interactions and degree that you’ll fight for what you want. Thus, if you give up easily when requesting something, the person to whom you make that request knows that he only has to say no a few times and you’ll slither back into your den of mediocrity. Your hopes for future opportunities will lackluster and you’ll have no one to blame except yourself.

When it comes to achieving more in life, when appropriate, consider acting like you did when you were a child. Ask why, how come, who else, type of questions. You’ll be rewarded with greater outcomes in life … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Some negotiators use stonewalling tactics to keep you from reaching your goals. They may do so to enhance their negotiation position. If you use probing questions (e.g. why can’t that be done, who else might be able to approve this, what do you suggest we do to avoid this impasse), you’ll receive greater outcomes from your negotiation efforts. That’s true because you’ll acquire more insight into what’s really behind the other negotiator’s efforts to disallow your request. Once you know that, you’ll be better positioned to hone in on the discovery of what he’d rather keep hidden. Your probing with questions, like you did when you were a child, will reveal those hidden opportunities and bring them to light.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself  

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“In Negotiations Be On The Alert For Setup Questions” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Setup questions can be to a person what a snake charmer is to a snake, mesmerizing. Watch the person that uses setup questions to mesmerize you!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book!

“In Negotiations Be On The Alert For Setup Questions”

“I can’t believe he asked me when I stopped beating my wife. I’ve never beaten my wife; I love her too much to do that!” Those were the dejected words spoken by a man that was in the throes of a messy divorce proceeding, as he responded to the question posed by the lawyer of his soon to be ex-wife.

 

Are you aware of how and why setup questions are designed to motivate you to a particular thought or action? In negotiations, you should be on the alert for setup questions.

 

A setup question (e.g. Most people would be horrified if that happened to them, right?) is used to position someone’s response as measured against what is viewed as being normal by others; it can also be used to alter the thought process of an individual.

The challenge to the responder is, if he answers contrary to the norm, he appears to be outside of that norm. That makes him appear to be abnormal. That’s a position that most people attempt to avoid, especially when such is exposed to others. The perception of abnormality can position someone as, he’s not like the rest of us, which can place that person in a squeamish position. It’s another way to apply a sense of unseen but felt leverage upon him.

When this tactic is used to alter someone’s thought process, it can be even more devastating, due to the attack on that person’s mental psyche. Thus, it can also be used to take someone off the offense and put them on the defense.

This tactic becomes more burdensome to the recipient of this ploy when used by someone that’s an aggressive or bully type of negotiator. The reason being, when confronted by an aggressive negotiator, more than likely, you’re already experiencing a heightened sense of anxiety. That may be in the form of just being more aware of your negotiation environment. The point is, you’re not relaxed, you’re on edge. That will prohibit your normal thought process from occurring which could lead to making errant decisions.

To recount, in all of your negotiations, be aware that setup questions may be posed at different times and for multiple purposes. They can be used:

  • For the purpose of altering your mental state. Once your mental state is altered, you may be more susceptible to falling into a defense that simply keeps you off the offense.
  • For positioning purposes, a setup question may be used to have you viewed in an unflattering manner, so as to marginalize the perception that others have of you and to disallow them from having empathy to your point or position.
  • To alter one’s mind, such questions may also be used in an attempt to make you forget, defuse, or confuse the point you were attempting to make.

 

The more alert you are to the possibility of setup questions being used in your negotiations, and how they might be used, the better prepared you’ll be at defending yourself against them. Doing so will give you an advantage in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#Questions #Setup #control #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“What Power Source Is Being Used To Scare You” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

 

“The only time you should be afraid of power is when you give it to someone you don’t trust.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 Click here to get the book!

 

“What Power Source Is Being Used To Scare You”

 

“They don’t care that I’ve lost my job. All they want is their money!” Those were the heavy words of a tear-faced man recounting his unenviable position to someone from whom he was seeking a loan.

 

Are you being scared by someone? Do you recognize their source of power as positional or situational? The way you confront someone should be based on their power source and how they’re using it.

Those possessing positional power, as an example your boss, will only be able to maintain that power while you’re in their domain. The boss may use as a scare tactic the threat of termination if you don’t achieve his goals, which will threaten your well-being and sense of security.

With situational power, the holder only has sway as long as the situation that gave him his power exists. Once the situation has abated so too does his power. Thus, an automobile mechanic only has power over you until your vehicle is repaired. It’s during that tenure that he has the opportunity to scare you. That might be in the form of telling you something dire has occurred with your vehicle that will require ‘x’ amount of money to repair. The more dependent you are on him repairing the vehicle, the more power you give him to scare you in the interim.

While positional power can possess some of the same characteristics as situational power, situational power will tend not to last as long as positional power.

 

Positional power:

When efforts are made to scare you through positional power, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That means, don’t be an easy target. Position yourself as someone that’s savvy and someone that will extract a toll if someone picks on you.

 

Situational power:

We’ve all been caught in a moment of despair. The way you present yourself at that moment will be the factor that signals how others should deal with you. Thus, with the mechanic, it would not behoove you to discuss the important meeting you have in a few days for which you’ll need your vehicle. If you give him such insights, you’re only placing yourself in a more vulnerable position.

 

Keep in mind that sometimes people will use scare tactics to manipulate you. Their degree of success will lie in how you present yourself and how you rebuff their efforts. The better prepared you are to recognize their source of power, the better you’ll be prepared to combat their power source … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Negotiations are all about power. It’s the perception of power that determines how one acts in a negotiation. Therefore, negotiators use different techniques to shape the perception of their power depending on the circumstances (e.g. scarcity/abundance, loss/gain, fear/safety, etc.)

If you become adept at identifying power sources, how it’s used, and how long it might last, you can position yourself to thwart it at your chosen point in a negotiation. You will be the one in the power position, using the trapdoor of hidden knowledge to scare others.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#powersource #YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself  

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Do You Know How To Better Control Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Control is something that everyone seeks in life. Achieve greater control by knowing how and what to control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book!

“Do You Know How To Better Control Negotiations”

 

“I’m not sure who was being manipulated, us or the opposing negotiators. They seemed to be negotiating by a hidden power source. Over the 3-week course of the negotiation, they constantly took exception with the positions they adopted. Something kept making them change their position!” Those were the words of an overly befuddled negotiator as he lamented about the tactics the opposing negotiation team employed.

In every negotiation, there are four factors that you should be aware of. Those factors have a profound impact on the flow and outcome of the negotiation. Thus, if you’re aware of how and when to use them, you’ll have better control of the #negotiation. Those factors are money, power, ego, and control.

 

Money

Some people are motivated by money for its purchasing value. Others use it as a way to keep score (i.e. point the direction of their success, up or down). In either case, the outcome of the negotiation may hinge on the perception one has of how much he gained, compared to how much you got and/or he left you with.

If you’re engaged in a negotiation with someone of this mindset, realize that money is the source through which he’ll evaluate the negotiation’s outcome. To combat this mindset, speak in terms of money per how he’ll lose opportunities if he doesn’t accept your offers. You can also use scarcity (i.e. the offer will only last a short time) to motivate him to take action sooner versus later. Keep in mind that you may possess something more valuable to him than money.

 

Power

Everyone wants the semblance of power. You need to know their sense of power in order to understand what source(s) might stimulate them to action (i.e. why they want it, what they’ll do with it, how it will make them feel).

Once you understand their sense and source(s) of power, you’ll have greater insight as to how to advantage it. Addressing it may be in the form of allowing the other negotiator to think he has power, based on the demeanor you project (i.e. someone that’s non-confrontational, go along to get along).

 

Ego

Everyone has an ego. In some negotiations, it may behoove you to deny the recognition of someone’s prestige, accomplishments, or whatever recognition sought from you by the other negotiator. The lack of recognition, related to one’s achievements, can be a powerful strategy to employ. You can withhold or extend acclamations until he acclimates to your position.

You can use praise for this purpose. You’d stroke his ego, when appropriate, to keep him aligned with the outcome you seek. Vary the degree of stroking based on the intent and outcome sought! In either case, make him feel that he’s earned what you grant him.

 

Control

Control is a human factor that determines how safe or unsafe someone feels. Like the other factors mentioned, control is perceptional. Thus, if you think you have or don’t have it, you’re right.

To create the façade of the other negotiator having control in the negotiation, make concessions that may appear to be to your detriment; red herrings can be used for this purpose. In some cases, granting control at the appropriate time can be a way to control the negotiation. Before granting it, know it’s perceived value.

 

When you utilize the four factors mentioned above in your negotiations, you’ll be better positioned to use those factors to your benefit. Doing so will allow you to maximize your negotiation efforts … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#control #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , ,

“Who’s Shaping Your Perspective” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“Your thought process is shaped by the filter through which you view life. To better understand it, understand who’s controlling the filter and the lens .” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Who’s Shaping Your Perspective”

 

Do you really know what shapes your opinions and perspectives?

 

Most people don’t like to be told how to think. They want to maintain their independence and being told what to think infringes upon that. Nevertheless, most people don’t realize that they’re being primed to think a particular way, based on who and what they allow to become part of their thinking process.

No one has to tell you how to think in order to influence your thought process. Instead, all they have to do is tell you what to think about. Once you accept their premises, they’ve begun to steer your thought process towards one direction versus another. That’s the reason why you should be mindful of where your information comes from. Those sources have their own bent on what reality is. As they pass their perspectives to you, they’re also passing on the perspectives of how you should think about a situation.

In order to be more open-minded in your thought process, be more open-minded about the sources from which you gather information. You’ll be able to have an open mind by listening to the perspectives of others from a pro and con point of view. Once you do that, you’ll be better informed and able to understand any point of view from a more concise outlook.

People will always attempt to sway your thoughts to those that appeal to theirs. There’s nothing unnatural about that. It’s a form of validation per the way they think.

The point is, always maintain an open mind by being willing to listen to opinions that might differ from yours. The value of doing so will come in the form of your mind becoming more expanded. That will allow you to expand your thought processes even more, which in turn will allow you to understand the perspective of others better … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

When negotiating, you must keep an open mind about how you’re thinking. In order to negotiate more effectively, you need to understand the thought process of the other negotiator too, and how she came to have that mindset; you can influence her mindset by what you suggest she think about. Once you have the insight by which she thinks, you’ll have a better understanding of why she adopts the stances she takes and why she makes the offers that she extends. The added benefit will be in being able to understand her better. At a minimum, that should allow you to have more empathy for her and her position. If you can get her to reciprocate, both of you will be able to engage in the negotiation from a more civil and open process. A silent benefit of that will be a less stressful negotiation, and when it comes to a negotiation, the more stress you can remove from it, the easier the negotiation becomes.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Negotiations – 7 Characteristics of a Bully Why You Should Care” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“In order to deal with a bully, you must know what one looks like.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to get the book!

 

 

“Negotiations – 7 Characteristics of a Bully – Why You Should Care”

 

“He will lie to your face, and not give a damn if you know he’s lying!” Those were the exasperated words of one member on the same negotiation team to another.

 

Do you know anyone that possesses the following 7 characteristics? If so, they just might be a bully.

 

When involved in #negotiations with someone that’s overly aggressive or someone that’s an outright bully, you should take note of the following characteristics to identify who he is.

 

  1. Bullies tend to be egocentric. They have to be the center of attention in order to satisfy their need to appear superior to others. Thus, they will belittle, demean, and put others down to maintain the appearance of their superiority.

 

  1. Observe a bully’s associates. Bullies tend to bring like-minded people that are weaker and like himself into his fold; he uses the former as foils in the plots he perpetrates against others. The caveat being, the bully needs to be the leader and will only allow those in his immediate sphere that will subjugate themselves to him. Therefore, be mindful of the fact that unknowingly you’re also negotiating with his minions when you’re negotiating with him.

 

  1. Bullies alter facts to make them fit the situation. Doing so is his attempt to psychologically arrest the logical thought process of others, in an attempt to bend their outlook to his will and perspective. When negotiating with him, be selective about the points you choose to address and be mindful of the retorts you offer to refute him. Facts may be viewed as demonic objects that cause you to lose sway with him.

 

  1. Loyalty between a bully and his associates is good as long as there are no threats in his camp. Once threats occur, loyalty loses its two-way appeal; the appeal is revealed as nothing more then a tool he employs to trick others into following him. He will throw supporters under the bus and find blame with them to account for his short-comings!

 

  1. A bully seeks constant praise from others because that feeds his ego and his need for self-aggrandizement. It serves as validation that he’s superior to others. Therefore, seek ways to praise a bully in a negotiation. That will endear you to him. Just make sure not to fall into his attempts to pull you closer to his views than is necessary.

 

  1. Bullies lie incessantly because their view has to be the predominant one. Thus, they attempt to alter the outlook of others to make others conform to their perspective. This action of the bully is very dangerous because one never really knows what to believe when a bully speaks.

 

  1. The only way a bully can rise to his perch is to do so by keeping others under the spell that he casts. Once he loses any appeal that makes others bow to him, he can become more aggressive in his attempts to reacquire the power he’s lost. That’s when he’s most dangerous. During such times, he may engage in activities that are very far outside the realm of rationality.

 

Dealing with bullies is always a dicey proposition. Being oblivious to his characteristics can lead to a stressful negotiation, one in which you may lose before you realize what has occurred. If you use the 7 traits above to identify with whom you’re dealing, you’ll have an idea of what you’re up against. From there, you can be on guard as to how you engage him in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Are You Being Hurt By The Perception Of Power” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“Power is perceptional and fluid. As it shifts, it’s strengthened or diluted. Know the direction of its flow when making decisions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

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“Are You Being Hurt By The Perception Of Power”

 

Always recognize when you’re in a state of euphoria and control your actions appropriately.

“He was great! I feel energized! Now, I believe I can accomplish all of my goals. That’s why I bought his $4,999 Super Deluxe Program!”

Such were the words of a young man in his late 20s. He had just attended a seminar where he was pumped up, while unknowingly his wallet was being deflated. In a few short months, he’d come to regret spending his money on that Deluxe Program. By then he’d be jobless and unable to pay his rent.

How are you victimized by the influence of perceived power? To what degree are you mentally manipulated by it?

When you sense power, it can be like an aphrodisiac. It stirs up arousal deeply in your soul. It releases endorphins within you and makes you momentarily feel like you rule the world. Yeah, it’s a good feeling! The problem or challenge that you might consider is, what form of manipulation are you under when you’re having such sensations and what will be the cost that you pay later?

When you’re in the heat of the moment, pumped up by the environment you’re in, realize what’s happening to you. You’re in a state of euphoria. While in that state your normal mode of rationalization is hijacked. You see yourself, and you become something that’s bigger than normal; you become and feel invincible.

The reason it’s so important to recognize when you find yourself in such a state is due to the actions you might commit while in that mindset. First, it’s a feeling of being on a natural high, which you want to maintain psychologically. That means you’ll engage in behaviors to sustain that feeling. You’ll even engage in behaviors that may later prove to be to your detriment. Then, when it’s time to pay the piper, you may experience insufficient funds to do so.

No matter what environment you’re in, always aspire to maintain self-control. That means, control your emotions and don’t let your emotions control you, or your actions. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

In a negotiation, one ploy that negotiators use is an offer that appears to be too good. At first, you may be skeptical of it and upon deeper examination adopt the adage of, one should not look a gift horse in the mouth (i.e. accept it for what it is and be thankful). Some negotiators will even disguise this ‘gift’ as a mistake they made that turns out to be to your benefit. The purpose of the ‘gift offering’ is to get you into a state of euphoria so you disconnect your normal reasoning process.

Suffice it to say, the more aware you are of controlling your emotions in a negotiation, the sharper will be your decision-making process. You’ll be less likely manipulated by the misperception of perceived power, which means you’ll be less likely to be victimized by it.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“How To Use ‘Even-If’ To Win Hard Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Even if you’re right about being wrong, you’re right. There’s power in the use of the ‘even-if’ proposition.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

Click here to purchase Negotiating With A Bully Book

 

“How To Use ‘Even-If’ To Win Hard Negotiations”

 

To what degree do you seek creative solutions when involved in hard-nosed negotiations? Such negotiations can be extremely demanding and fraught with stress. When coupled with someone that’s a hard-type negotiator (i.e. a negotiator that either has a zero-sum perspective of the negotiation or someone that thrives on being obstinate in a negotiation), you can find yourself making unplanned concessions if you’re not mindful of what you’re doing.

One way to employ a creative solution when involved in a hard negotiation, is to use the ‘even-if’ strategy. It can quicken the pace on the path to a successful negotiation outcome. While it can be a viable ploy for you, you need to also be watchful of it being used against you.

 

What is the ‘even-if’ strategy:

Stated succinctly, the even-if strategy allows its user to stealthily subordinate the other negotiator’s proposition to his. The strategy avoids potential conflicts that might occur if the other negotiator’s point was addressed prior to addressing yours. Thus, using this strategy successfully, allows you to put your point into the forefront of the discussion and it alters the flow of the negotiation.

 

How to use ‘even-if’:

The strategy can be used to make your point prior to addressing the other negotiator’s perspective. It’s done in the hopes that your point will dilute or alter his thought process. To use the strategy, you can say something akin to, “even if we could save $10 million by accepting your offer, at this time, we do not have that much money to invest. I suggest we look at a solution that may be closer to the $5 million threshold.” By doing this, as stated above, you’ve repositioned yourself and his offer by utilizing this strategy in this manner.

 

Best time to employ ‘even-if’:

Anytime you wish to subordinate the opposing negotiator’s point or request to yours, is a good time to employ this strategy. While this strategy can be used at any point in any negotiation, it’s even more powerful when used with someone that’s aggressive or someone that attempts to bully you. In that case, the strategy mollifies the bully. You’re not stating that he’s crazy or irrational for making such an outlandish request, you’re first acknowledging him from a respectful aspect and simply stating that you can’t meet his offer. In so doing, you potentially side-step any aggressive behavior that might stem from his otherwise abusive demeanor.

 

How to defend from ‘even-if’:

Since this strategy is used to put one proposition on the table for discussion ahead of another, you should be mindful of when the other negotiator attempts to use this strategy against you. The way to defend against it is to simply state, ‘Okay, let’s discuss your point next.’ You can use the tonality of your voice to position this as a request or a statement. Then, go right into the point that you wanted to discuss. A smart negotiator may not let you get away with your attempt to place your agenda ahead of his. Thus, you must be prepared to decide if you’ll acquiesce on one point to receive a concession on your request later. Therein lies another way you can use this strategy. If you get into a give-and-take as to whose point will be discussed first, you can present a point that’s nothing more than a red herring to be sacrificed for this purpose.

 

Even if (wink) you never use this strategy, knowing about it will make you a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,