“Sunday Negotiation Insight”
“Daring Life Perils of Deceit Perception Emotions”
When you negotiate, what perceptions do you assign your emotions? Do you factor the role deceit might have? Your thoughts cause you to move towards or away from perilous situations. Take the following story of deceit, perception, and emotions as an example.
Her phone answered his incoming call accidently and she was not aware of it. As he listened to the conversation that she was engaged in, which lasted for almost seven minutes late in the evening, he heard the gregarious nature she appeared to possess while talking with another man. He found that strange because she always told him she was tired at night and needed to go to bed early. Since he’d loved her for such a long time and provided support for her when she needed it, he couldn’t understand how she could do something so treacherous as to be out at night with another man and apparently engaged in a joyful environment with him. Then he thought, upon reflection he’d set himself up for deceit because he’d allowed himself to overlook aspects of her behavior that he should have been more cognizant of. He came to realize that his lack of diligence came about as the result of the emotions of love he had for her.
How does this relate to negotiations and what might have been done to prevent this situation?
In any situation (you’re always negotiating), we assign a specific weight per the way we perceive such occurrences. Then, based on the emotions we experience, we determine to what degree our position is enhanced or degraded, which leads us to the next thought process we engage in. That determines what action we’ll invoke to improve our plight. To be fully engaged in every aspect of your life …
- Be aware of the degree you’re giving credence to a situation, as the result of the emotions that are tied to the situation.
- Given the right situation, anyone can be deceived; learn from your mistakes and move on. Always be observant as to what motivates the other person (negotiator) to deceive you (i.e. her environment per the people she’s around and the influence they cast upon her, her needs for self-acceptance in that environment, etc.)
- Understand the degree of conflation you apply when thinking about multiple occurrences of past situations. Be aware of the risk of giving one situation a higher mental rating than warranted. Be sure to weigh your thoughts such that each situation from the past is not miss-labeled and you assign too much weight to it.
While it may be difficult to build a future, if you can’t see past today, you should always question yourself about the degree that any situation was avoidable, and you took no action to avoid it. Being aware when deceit might creep into your life, especially if delivered by someone close to you, can give you a sense of direction for your future. If deceived and you adopt the right course of action, that action will serve as your new north star … and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
The Master Negotiator &
Body Language Expert