“Trust is like a shimmering light. It appears one moment and gone the next. To keep it illuminated longer, limit those that would keep you in the dark.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)
“Don’t Joust When You Want To Project Powerful Trust“
How do you know they’ll trust us? I don’t know. But, if they sense we’re willing to follow their lead, not joust with them, and project an open, honest, and powerful desire for them to trust us, I believe they will. So were the words exchanged between two members of a team that desperately wanted their counterparts to trust them. They needed to be trusted because, without it, the chances of a successful outcome would become significantly diminished.
When engaging people, trust plays a pivotal role in the outcome. And, since that leads to faith, which impacts confidence, which affects expectations, the degree you’re trusted determines how far they’ll follow your requests and mandates. Without that, you risk standing on the proverbial desert of isolation, waiting for an oasis that most likely will never occur.
As you reach to others to enhance your efforts, consider the following factors to heighten the probability that they’ll work with you.
Degrees of Trust:
The characteristics and background of the people you attempt to control will determine the amount of trust they’ll grant you. If they come from non-trusting environments or have had poor relationships with authorities in the past, more time and effort will be required to solicit their trust. On the other hand, if you have a reputation of someone that others have trusted in the past, less effort will be required. And therein lies your measurement as to the effort you’ll spend in obtaining the trust needed to get others to believe and accept what you request of them.
Reasons For Broken Trust:
Entities having cross purposes can be one reason trust is not established or broken. There can be a host of other reasons too. To enhance your efforts, think about the following ideas that might impact the trust factor in your efforts to implant a plan or to get others to bond and embrace your directions.
- Combativeness – Some people shrink when put in combative environments – they can become absorbed and consumed by it. And yet others will thrive in such situations. You should know the setting that’s best suited to motivate those you deal with based on your surroundings. In some circumstances, you can heighten someone’s abilities for a short time by placing them in stressful situations. At other times they may wither. Always be mindful of the position you put people in and how long you keep them in it.
- Subjugation – Everyone is not a leader. Thus, some people are more comfortable being followers. Knowing the mental makeup of your allies and those that combat your efforts should be the cornerstone of any plan you create. Incorporating this insight into any strategy you devise allows you to assess and determine how you might manipulate the powers to be. That will enable you to enhance your efforts and erode the forces that oppose you.
- Hard/Soft hand – History has taught us that force is required to overwhelm a relentless foe. And history has also shown that rebellions can occur when power reigns too heavy-handedly to suppress the desires of the less fortunate. Therefore, when you have authority or supremacy, you should be careful about how you use it.
If others view your edicts as being too harsh, you can entice inner resurrection amongst those that prowl to subvert your efforts. If your approach is considered too soft, you can appear weak or noncommittal for the outcome you’re chasing. Like most things in life, striking the right balance between being too hard or soft is the position you should pursue. That’s the sweet spot that will enable the possibility of you achieving the best outcome.
Fitting The Pieces Together:
Control Jousters – In every environment, people jockey for power. And the factions that stem from those activities can weaken your position and drastically impede your progress – especially if you need a united alliance. So, be mindful of underlings that seek power for their self-aggrandizement. Do this within your forces and your opponent’s ranks too.
Some individuals may want clout to feed their ego, while others may wish it so that others don’t view them as a bottom-feeder. In either case, you can use such forces as leverage to enhance your efforts, or thwart those of your adversaries. In the latter instance, incite those in the opposer’s camp to vie for power, which will pit them against one another. While they’re confronting inner chaos, use their fray to weaken their most robust components by enticing other factions of there’s to align with you. Be careful how you employ this ploy within your ranks. If done ineffectively, you may incite an uprising in your midst.
Anyone can be king-for-a-day. But if you want to be a leader that others will eagerly follow, you must project a powerful trust factor. Doing that will enhance your persona. It will silently state that you’re someone that has influence and someone worthy of leading others. Without those factors, others may follow your lead for a short time, but you’ll have challengers that’ll quest to supplant your leadership. Heavy will be the head that wears the crown. And that head will be yours.
So, inspire others by showing them that you’re a reckoning force. That force can be to their advantage or their detriment. Hence, display firmness when required and at other times, be lenient. Regardless, in the end, to get others to abide by your wishes, adopt the demeanor that’ll move them the most. The one constant factor in that is trust. Use it wisely … and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
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After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
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