Hear What’s Not Said – Body Language/Nonverbal Signals
Did you hear what the other negotiator didn’t say? Do you understand the sway nonverbal signals have on a negotiation? Are you able to read body language to understand what it means when you hear yes, but the other negotiator’s body language indicates, no? Being able to read body language and nonverbal signals give you a huge advantage at the negotiation table. By doing so, you’ll win more of your negotiations.
Consider implementing the following suggestions when reading body language and sensing nonverbal signals.
- Don’t be bashful about asking questions when you sense inconsistencies between words and actions. Worse case, you bring to the forefront in the other negotiator’s mind that you perceive something that’s not there. This will at least make her aware that you’re paying close attention to her words and body language.
- Be aware of body language that displays ‘bright shiny objects’. Sometimes a negotiator will attempt to distract you by becoming animated with her body language. This could be nothing more than an attempt to convince you that she believes in what she’s saying. The fact that there’s an over commitment displayed via her body language is what your attention should be drawn to. If you’re not sure what ‘normal’ body language gestures should be, consider how you would respond in such a situation and what body language gestures you might make. That will at least serve as a foundation from which to base her actions upon.
- Understand the perspective from which someone is speaking. Determine if they’re speaking from an auditory (e.g. I hear you), visual (e.g. I see what you mean), or Kinesthetic (e.g. that feels right with me) perspective. By attuning your senses to the manner in which they’re speaking you’ll be able to identify such mental insight that they may be undertaking. As an example, if someone says, “that looks good to me”, but they’re rubbing their eye(s) while doing so, your more than likely receiving a signal that what they’re contemplating does not look good to them (i.e. saying one thing (it looks good), while rubbing their eye(s) indicating that there’s something blocking their vision).
When words and actions are misaligned, the cause is usually due to a lack of complete belief in what’s being said. It may not be the intent of telling a lie that the person emitting such actions is attempting to deliver, but at a minimum it indicates a lack of full belief and/or commitment. Thus, you should be cautious about believing what that person is saying. If she extends an offer, she may not be able to fulfill the covenants of it.
During a negotiation, you have to consider whether you’re asking enough questions based on what you see, versus what you hear. When there’s inconsistency between what you hear and what you see, place more credence on what you see. By observing nonverbal signals, you enhance the probability that you’ll come out ahead in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!