“How Forgiving Is Your Mind – This Is What Matters” – Sunday Negotiation Insight
“To free your mind, release what’s captured it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)
“How Forgiving Is Your Mind – This Is What Matters”
How long do you allow negativity to grip you in the jaws of despair – hold you mind hostage to situations that make you cling to slights that others thrust upon you? If you hold negative thoughts for an extended time, it might be to your detriment?
Anytime you allow lingering negative thoughts to affect your mood, your mannerisms, or your actions, you allow others to control you. Thus, at times, you must exercise forgiveness to release such anxieties – at other times, you must take aggressive actions.
The following are thoughts to help you assess when to engage in forgiveness and when not to.
Let it go:
Everything that’s perceived as being negative, isn’t. Thus, you must assess what is real versus perceived negativity – that perception will, in part, be based on your current state of mind. That’s why it’s important to mend your mind by not allowing too much of the past to cloud your current judgment – it matters to your wellbeing.
Release thoughts that debilitate your mind (e.g. they’ll never let me move into a higher position – they don’t like people like me – I remember the outcome the last time something like this occurred). Some thoughts don’t serve you. Even if such things bring past indiscretions to mind, don’t conflate them with your current situation – that was then and this is now.
By separating the past and present, you insulate your current thoughts from the past – that disallows your past thoughts from afflicting your current thinking. It also frees you to release thoughts that don’t serve you and replace them with those that are more uplifting. In turn, that will take you to a higher mental sanctuary, which will allow you to have a more positive perspective.
When not to let it go:
If someone or something is preventing you from achieving your desired goal, challenge them! Fear not for fear’s sake. If you subscribe to attaining an objective, you must do what’s necessary to advance forward. To the degree that it’s important, when others block your path out of spite or unrighteousness, don’t be forgiving – be persistent in moving them aside. There is a time for forgiveness – this is not it!
When it comes to your success and security if you let threats go unabated, you’ll only be postponing future dread. By not addressing situations that outright pose potential harm, you emboldened the source of that threat. If left unaddressed, it may swell to become the cause of your demise.
When something was too threatening, something that caused you to summon more courage, you did so. In so doing you realized, without struggle, you had no advancement. Don’t stop now when confronted by a daunting roadblock – that’s nothing more than a test to encourage you to display more courage – move on, go higher!
By controlling your mind, you control your thoughts, which allows you to control your actions. Control will keep you in a better mental place. You’re the master-of-your-fate. Knowing when to forgive and when not to will help you maintain that domain … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
During a negotiation, you can become overwhelmed by emotions – emotions that lead to thoughts of retribution. Unless there’s a sincere need for such, don’t let negative thoughts lead to emotions that cloud your judgment. They’ll saddle you with unneeded consternation as you go deeper into the negotiation.
Being able to forgive perceived slights can be a gift in a negotiation – it can free your mind to think more freely. Knowing when to move against such slights can also be beneficial. Thus, knowing when to adopt the right action is paramount. Therefore, when weighing a conflicting negative thought that might debilitate your mind ask yourself, does this matter? If it doesn’t, be forgiving – let it go.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
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After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
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