Negotiation Tip of the Week “Use Influence of Affinity To Easily Win More Negotiations”


“Affinity – You should never love something so much that you neglect the something you love due to neglect.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language ExpertThe Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert



Affinity Influences Negotiations

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“Use Influence of Affinity To Easily Win More Negotiations”


How are you influenced by the affinity factor in your negotiations? Such influence can occur in the subliminal part of your mind and you not be aware of it. To the degree you’re aware of the impact the affinity factor has on your mind and in a negotiation, you can use it to adjust your mind and the negotiation. Take for example the following:

I love them, and yet I chased one away. Then I thought, why did I do that? After reflecting on my actions, I assessed that I was upset with the one I chased away. I felt that one should not have been in the environment. He was taking/stealing something that did not belong to him. Let me explain.

I have an affinity for cats. Since I travel to the degree I do, I don’t own any, but I adopted a stray cat (or he adopted me) that comes around (he almost lives with me, outside). When I see him, I give him food; that occurs in the morning and early evening. Actually, it’s whenever he wants it.

One day, I happened to look out the window and saw a different cat eating my cat’s food. Before thinking, I quickly ran outside and shooed that cat away. After the cat scampered off, I questioned why I banished it, especially since I have an affinity for cats. After contemplation, I attributed my actions to the affinity I had for my cat. No other cat was going to impede on his domain; my cat was the sovereign of that environment.

Let’s examine what occurred in my mind, because I’m sure such occurs with you during your negotiations.

I had an affinity for my cat because I was ‘taking care of it’ and thus had invested time, energy, and money (buying food) in so doing. That meant I had emotionally bought into the wellbeing of the cat which enhanced my affinity for it. You buy into a negotiation with the same investment you make per the time you spend, the energy you exert, and cost of money you forgo while negotiating. Thus, you create an affinity for the negotiation process with wanting to receive some form of return for your efforts.

There was yet something else motivating me to chase the other cat away; I wanted to protect my cat. In a negotiation, to the degree you’re emotionally tied to your positions and have an affinity for them, you’re more likely to become dogmatic when defending those positions.

To maximize the outcome of the negotiation, be aware of what’s motivating you to adopt an action, the source of it, and the impact it’s having on the flow and outcome of the negotiation. Be aware also of the affinity you’ve attached to your positions as to why you’ve done so. Such awareness will serve you well and enhance your interactions in and during the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.


Remember, you’re always negotiating!









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