The leaders that preceded him always supported their allies. And his allies thought he’d continue that support. Then, it occurred – the opportunity to come to their aid. But he was a different type of leader. He cared more about his well-being than that of his allies. So, he abandoned them. He did that to maintain power while a secret source threatened him.
Everyone has a degree of authority. And that authority is a source of power. So, if you want to maintain yours, consider the following.
Sometimes, non-physical attacks work – especially in the face of threats. Thus, attacks don’t have to be physical. They can be verbal, serving as a warning of the foreboding to come unless current threatening actions cease. And, over a long period, they can shape future activities, anticipation, and mindset of those whom you convey your sentiments. So, when you consider how you’ll extend and maintain power, think about how you might use even the threat of an attack, physical or non-physical, to bolster your position.
When confronting threats, another strategy to consider is moving the goalposts. That means, when those you’re facing get closer to a goal, move it. Do that by changing the parameters that were previously set.
You can use this tactic against those that form less of a threat but with whom you wished to maintain control. You’d implement this strategy to keep the object of your actions aligned with you, but have them guessing at what you might require next. If overused, that tactic can also introduce and ignite anger. So, be careful of how and when you utilize it.
You can also implement this strategy by assembling multiple goals and allowing your associates to choose the ones to address. Later, for reasons you create, you can state that they have to alter their course and discuss new goals. You’d use this approach to buy time or to frustrate the progress they were making that was out of alignment with your goals. Either way, you’ll maintain power, while others are chasing the altering goals that you created.
Power is real to the degree it’s perceived, and how it’s adhered to by others. Thus, if someone recognizes you as being in control, in their eyes, you’re powerful. Therefore, another way to project power is to disallow others from engaging you. You’d forbid them access to you, be it in person or via any form of communication. Instead, you should have such individuals communicate through your surrogates. You want to maintain distance between you and them. That buffer allows you to remain somewhat aloof while giving you time to consider responses to potentially threatening situations. Then, when you enter into communications with them, you’ll have the opportunity to control the situation better. Your presence will suggest that something bigger is occurring.
When considering threats to power, some people become tyrannical to protect it. They will lie, cheat, and steal to maintain control. Others will acquiesce to threats. Thus, not only should you be aware of the personality type that you’re dealing with, having that insight will help you shape your response to the threats of others.
Tyrants – This individual type may have a relationship with power, new or long-established, that allows him to feel special. He rides on the clouds of accolades. And his ego is pacified while being affirmed that he exalts over his followers. It can be challenging to deal with this personality type. When confronting someone possessing this characteristic, no his sources of power, and know yours. You may have to call on your power sources to prepare it to battle on your behalf. You should also be prepared to employ dirty tricks to combat his forces if you deem it necessary.
Acquiesce – Dealing with someone that acquiesces can be tricky. The trickiness lies in the speed of his actions. If he nibbles at your power, he may do so to test the possibilities for success. Thus, he will not be as bold nor engage in the tactics a tyrant would use. Nevertheless, depending on the backers of this individual, he may become emboldened to threaten your authority because he’s being egged on by others. Keep this in mind and account for it when dealing with this type of person.
Power is fluid. And it’s ever-changing. Therefore, if you want to maintain control, you must be aware of what might alter its flow. And, you must be prepared to combat those that would take it away. To do anything other will empower others. And for them … everything will be right with the world – but not for you.
“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better”
Two agents were working undercover as they discussed an update with their informant. They were seated in a recessed area in an attempt to keep their conversation private and to avoid danger. They wanted to control the environment as much as possible. Suddenly, a panhandler walked over and aggressively began to ask for money. One agent said pleasantly, no. But the person persisted by asking, why not? The agent said, no, again. Still, the person continued their plea for money. Finally, the agent growled as he said in a loud voice, I said no! Stunned, the beggar turned and quickly walked away.
Potential danger always surrounds you, even during negotiations (you’re always negotiating). In some cases, you avoid it by staying outside of its bounds. At other times, you prevent it by the way you control conversations in an environment.
When the agents turned their attention back to their update, the informant asked, did you think that person was dangerous? The agent said, no. That beggar didn’t accept my answer the first few times. So, I had to alter the delivery of my words. By changing the tone of my reply and sounding more hostile, the panhandler sensed my, no, response as being more definitive. That’s why he walked away at that point.
Consider the following techniques to increase your control as you negotiate with those that might attempt to be defiant or with those that you’d like to control better.
Block and Bridge
Block and bridge is one way to alter the flow of a conversation. You’d implement its use as a conversation began to head in an unwanted direction – one that you feared would cause you to lose control of the discussion or interaction. You might also consider employing it when you wanted to enhance the flow of a conversation.
To invoke its use, when someone began making statements that you disagreed with, or citing accounts not aligned with where you wanted to take the conversation, block their comments. As an example, you can say, you have a point (block), and the outcome was less than expected (bridge). I suggest we take the following approach. It’s known to have better results.
The manner you block someone’s comments depends on the severity of the situation. If it’s one that might escalate to a high degree of irritation, you might consider blocking the other person’s statements with a harsh tone and words. If that’s not required, consider being milder in your intonation and demeanor.
Answering Questions With Questions
Answering questions with questions is an excellent way to gather more information than you give. It also allows you to control a conversation. Because the person asking questions is controlling the flow of the discussion. And that occurs as long as the other party is answering questions.
To implement this strategy, ask a question in response to one that’s asked of you. Do this instead of answering the initial query. Thus, instead of providing an answer to that question, you’d respond with one of your own.
As an example, if someone says, do I have to take this course of action? Your response might be, what do you think will happen if you don’t take this course of action? You’ve not answered the question. And if you get a response, you’ve gained more insight into the individual’s thoughts. Along with a possible solution to a situation if you choose to implement that person’s response.
Listening To What’s Not Said
Many people consider themselves good communicators because they pay attention to what someone says. In reality, you can be a better communicator and control conversations better by observing what’s someone doesn’t say.
As an example, if someone said, I didn’t do what you said I did. You might consider a person’s answer to mean, I didn’t do what you said I did. Yes, I did it, but not the way you stated it.
By listening for what’s not said, and the response of how something’s said, you’ll gain better insight and control of someone’s statements. You’ll also know more about how that person is communicating. And that will be worth its weight in gold.
In every environment, and every negotiation you’re in, think about how you’ll control that environment. In particular, consider how you’ll avoid dangerous situations, what form of control you’ll use, and where that might take you in your encounter. Because the better you control conversations, the more power and control you’ll have in every negotiation and situation that you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.
“How To Use Someone’s Prejudices To Your Advantage”
As a couple entered a restaurant, the hostess muttered to no one in particular – they must be confused. They appear to be destitute. To annoy the maître d’, she seated the couple in a prominent space. She wanted to use his prejudices against him and to her advantage. They had a long-running feud. And this was her way of irritating him.
When the maître d’ observed where the couple was sitting, he looked skyward and said, help me, lord. He hurried to the hostess and asked in a very sharp tone, why did you seat those people in that area? You know I don’t like individuals that appear out of place. They’ll detract from the ambiance and ruin the aura of the environment! The hostess smirked and said, you’re right – I did know that. She had just taken an opportunity to needle the maître d’ and use his prejudices to her advantage.
The previous story is an example of how someone’s prejudices can be used to your advantage. Doing so can stretch across different environments and occur in many settings. Think of the following when considering how you’ll advantage your position by using someone’s prejudices in your interactions with them.
When taking into account the role someone’s gender may play in addressing their preferences, don’t allow that to be a significant factor. Instead, place a greater emphasis on the situation and the personality type of the individual. Some people may respond to situational exchanges that mimic the opposite sex of their gender. To possess a mindset of, she’s just a woman – she wouldn’t do that, can place you in a disadvantaged position.
Identifying Sources of Prejudices:
Before considering how you can use someone’s prejudices to your advantage, you must know what they value and why. Without this insight, you’ll never know which of their biases will be of most benefit to you. To gain insight:
Play the part – This means appearing as others in the environment to fit into your target’s perception of what’s normal – If you look out of place, you might incur their raft. And this would place you at a disadvantage. The more you appear like someone and their environment, the more they’ll see themselves in you.
When would you want to use someone’s prejudices to your advantage?
There can be a host of reasons that warrant using someone’s biases against them to increase your position.
Compliance – In some cases, you may want an individual to comply with your commands or desires. You may be in a position where force could be used to accomplish that. But that should not be your first action. Force can sometimes lead to the escalation of a situation, which in turn could lead to a loss of control.
Crisis – In crises, not only should you consider using someone’s prejudices against them, depending on the direness of the crisis, this ploy may be the best tool to use.
Guilt/shame – Someone’s prejudices can be used to create a sense of shame or guilt because the individual has strayed outside the bounds of his norms. By persuading the individual to view himself differently, you begin to influence his thought process, which can lead to you controlling his mind and thoughts.
Gather information – If you seek to gain information about the target’s associates, you can affirm his prejudices. He’ll view you as being like himself and his associates, which will usually free someone’s tongue to wag with hordes of insights and information.
Create an ally/turn against others – This is another case where appearing to be like your target can attract an intense affinity for you from him. Once a strong bond exists, the possibility will occur to turn this person against those that confront you. If you are outnumbered, creating a divide in this manner can enhance your odds.
Prejudices are inherent in everyone. Thus, they’ll be times when you can take advantage of their predispositions to increase your position. Knowing when and how to do so will give you a huge advantage when dealing with people … and everything will be right with the world.
“Negotiator – Is There Hidden Power In The Inferiority Myth”
Is there a hidden power in the inferioritymyth? In its purest form, it’s nothing more than a belief or disbelief that people accept or reject. The illusion exists in its ability to manipulate the thoughts of others for good or bad. Therefore, you should assess whether myths are good or bad, by the way, you and others view them. After all, they shape people’s perspectives and opinions.
You’re continuously negotiating in all of your environments. And, as a negotiator, you should use every asset that’s available to enhance your efforts. The inferiority myth is one tool you can use to do that.
The following are ways to use inferiority myths.
Embolden others to feel good about themselves (e.g., I don’t think you’re inferior to anyone.)
As a source of neutrality (e.g., I always found everyone in your group/area to be open, honest, and easy to deal with. And I know dealing with you will be the same way.)
Perpetrate a stereotype that reflects the negative thoughts others have of an individual or group and cast yourself on the opposite side of that paradigm – This says, I respect you. We’re looking at this from the same perspective. I’m on your side (This is the good cop in the good cop, bad cop, scenario.)
Use to cast others as being inferior to you – Note: it takes a particular mindset to accept this pronouncement. Therefore, you should be mindful of whom you attempt to project this. Some people will perceive such sentiments as being derogatory. And this my insight them to become rigid, which may lead to confrontation or hostilities.
Use to cast yourself as being inferior to others – While most individuals seek to project strength, to appear in control, there are times when a demur posture can be beneficial. Casting yourself as being inferior can help that façade. Once again, be mindful of whom you project that image. While it will allow you to maintain a better position with some people, it can be to your detriment with others.
Use to cast your target’s group as being inferior to him (e.g., Why are you with them? You’re so much better than they are.) While this may work to separate individuals in a group from the group, it may backfire (i.e., He’s like my brother. And I’m just like him and proud of it!). So be cautious about with whom you attempt this.
Project yourself as a victim of perceived inferiority to the person you’re engaged with (e.g., Are you saying that I’m inferior to you? Why would you think that and why would you feel that way?) This can be the prelude to you feigning heightened aggression or agitation. You’d use this strategy with someone respectful of your authority who you want to restrain mentally. If you attempt to implement this with more strident individuals, you run the risk of encouraging them to become obstinate. So, be cautious. You don’t want to inflame anyone’s ire. That can lead to increased tensions.
As in every situation you encounter, you’re negotiating. Thus, as a negotiator, you’re always setting expectations. Some people will attempt to live up to them, while others will strive to live down to them. Hence, you must be sure you set the correct expectation based on the outcome you seek.
To set better expectations based on the inferiority myth, consider the source of power confronting you. If it’s potential trouble, you may suggest that the source’s ability is inferior. If that force is more amenable to follow your commands, indicate that everyone is on the right path (e.g., people that work together create more significant outcomes).
The point is, when employing the inferiority myth, make sure it serves the overall outcome you’re attempting to achieve. Anything less will put your efforts in jeopardy. That will cause unwanted anxiety and stress, which can add to a situation’s decline. Using myths correctly can be a valuable aid, but only if you use them properly. Once you do, you’ll be able to subdue challenges that, in the past, may have gotten out of hand … and everything will be right with the world.
Every time he wore a red tie, she felt her feelings change towards him. At first, he didn’t notice when the changes occurred. Then, over time, he sensed the difference in her actions. Her disposition wasn’t unpleasant – she was not as approachable as she was usually. In return, he responded to her change by not being as agreeable to her. Neither of these individuals realized it, but they were interacting with each other based on the biases they possessed.
When people engage others, their biases drive the interaction. Thus, you should always be mindful of how you act based on the environment, those in it, and the thoughts you have about both. You should make the same assessment from the other person’s viewpoint too. If you’re not aware of the effect that has on you or them, you can become the target for abuse or an abuser.
To stop biases from turning into abuse, consider these factors:
How might specific triggers cause you to become irrational, and what exactly might you do in such a state?
What thoughts are driving you to view your current situation in a particular manner, and could it lead to hostilities?
Are you conflating past occurrences with the present one? If so, why?
What powers are you conceding by not controlling thoughts that could lead to you committing negative actions?
What are your thoughts and beliefs about the people in the environment, and do they stem from hidden prejudices you possess or those with whom you associate?
What actions are others in the environment engaged in that might cause you to have disdain for them?
How might you treat someone if you have contempt for them based on the beliefs that you share with others that dislike the same people?
Are you attempting to impress others by acting a particular way in your present environment?
The point of the questions above is to make you think. And to hopefully do so before a situation driven by your own or someone else’s biases cause you or others to become abusive. In times of heightened tension, regardless of its cause, if you don’t apply a brake to your automatic thought process, that process could lead to unwanted outcomes.
So, before entering into a situation that might escalate due to unseen or unspoken biases, consider how you might guard against them and how you might control an environment should they occur. The better prepared you are to deal with challenges that can escalate and become uncontrollable, the better you’ll be at spotting and containing those possibilities. That will put you in better control of yourself, others, and the environments you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Every negotiator brings biases into a negotiation. They may originate from thoughts about certain ethnicities and how they respond or act with people from other backgrounds. They can also stem from sexual orientation, gender difference, or a host of mitigating thoughts. Some may derive from misguided beliefs that others possess that a negotiator may admire or aspire to emulate.
Regardless of there source(s), biases can negatively impact a negotiation. Therein lies the reason negotiators must be mindful of the prejudices that may exist in a situation. If one is not observant and doesn’t have a plan to deal with it, the unprepared negotiator can find himself dealing with dire occurrences. In reality, those acts may be red herrings intended to thwart your efforts by demeaning you. A deeper intent may be to push you away from the negotiation so that someone of more liking can get engaged.
Never underestimate the power and destruction that biases can have on an interaction. They can quietly erode your power and sap your mental energy. If you neglect such a force, you may be doing so at your delayed peril.
“I wasn’t sure what I was sensing. But the story didn’t seem right. I didn’t know if it came from the man’s darting eyes, or his constant lip licking. He seemed nervous. And that increased my suspicion of his guilt.” Those were the words of a police officer recounting his thoughts to a supervisor. He’d just captured a criminal that had been on the lam for decades.
One researcher found most people lie in everyday conversation. They do so to appear approachable and skilled. As a negotiator, when you assess someone’s possible deceit, what signs do you look for in their body language? Are there other nonverbal signals that you spot that give clues to someone’s degree of truthfulness?
When a person lies, their body emits clues. That’s because our body attempts to stay in a constant state of comfort. And, when it’s out of that state, the body displays signals that account for that lack of wellbeing. The following guidelines will assist you in spotting lies in those that attempt to deceive you. Having this information will allow you to heighten your senses when someone is lying.
Reading Body Language
Forehead – When someone’s forehead begins to sweat, take note of what preceded that action. While the person may be sweating due to the heat, observe to what degree the sweating continues based on questions posed in the conversation. When coupled with other signs, you’ll have better insight into the person’s deceit or truthfulness.
Eyes – In some situations, a lier will avoid eye contact, because they know a lack of eye contact may indicate someone’s lying. And others will maintain eye contact longer than usual. To decern when someone may be lying, observe what’s regular eye contact for that person in different situations. As an example, note their eye movement when they’re calm compared to when they feel threatened in an attempt not to disclose the truth. Even when you first meet someone, within moments of the encounter, you can gauge their altering of eye movement. Note what may have caused it to occur.
Mouth – When people lie, and they believe someone may be spotting it, the more they speak, the drier their mouth may become. They may begin to lick their lips to offset the dryness or start to swallow excessively. Pay special attention to this act. While nerves may have a role in their actions, guilt from telling lies may be the real source.
Ears – Someone fondling their ears may be indicating that they can’t hear what you’re saying. But constant fondling is usually a sign that they’re attempting to comfort themselves. While they may be nervous, note some of the other signals to assess if there’s more to their fondling.
Neck – Rubbing the neck more than usual is another sign of tension, which may be caused by someone lying. Once again, observe other signals mentioned to gain greater insight into what this clue me be giving you.
Hands – Some people cover their mouth with their hand when lying. They’re attempting to hold back their words. If someone makes large gestures with their hands and then begin to make smaller ones while displaying some of the other signals noted, that might be another clue that they’re attempting to shield the lie that they want you to believe is the truth.
Fists – Hands that become fists indicate potential hostile actions to follow. That gesture in a tense situation may mean the person is tired of your inquisition. He may be experiencing anxiety from thinking you’re aware of his deceitful pronouncements.
Feet – When someone suspects that you’re aware of his lying, he may shift his body and point his feet towards the nearest exit. That gesture indicates that he wants to get out of the current environment because he feels uncomfortable.
As you watch someone’s body language, look for a cluster of actions. No action standing alone can definitively denote their truthfulness. Remember, when someone lies, their body emits signals. Those signals may be fleeting. But, if you’re astute at recognizing them, you’ll be better at catching the lies that people tell. That will allow you to maintain greater control in all of your environments … and everything will be right with the world.
How do you shape your logic before presenting an argument or rebuttal? And, would it be different if you were a whistleblower?
“The whistleblower doesn’t know what happened. He got his information from other sources.” Those were the words reportedly that came from officials at the White House. The words were stated to discredit the whistleblower. In reality, his account appears to be very accurate. And his report was laid out in a very logical format.
When presenting information, consider the following seven suggestions.
Make your arguments easy to embrace and understand. The more comfortable someone is in adopting a rebuttal, the more likely it is to persuade them.
Solicit empathy – When positioning a response to a question, attempt to place it as the other person would. That’ll allow that person to see herself in your response. It’ll also make it more difficult for her to refute it because she would have engaged in the same manner as you.
Before exposing your logic, think of where it might lead and how you might defend your position.
To make responses more potent, don’t defuse them. Adding unrelated or challenging to grasp information might defuse your position. Adding too many arguments can lead to a lack of understanding of your primary point. Thus, someone may become confused as the result of focusing on another aspect you’ve mentioned and giving that point more attention.
Demeanor – The persona you cast is how people will perceive you. Thus, if you threw the image of someone that’s challenging to deal with, you shouldn’t be surprised when someone deals with you in that manner. Conversely, if you position yourself as someone amenable, they’ll tend to respond to you in that manner. There’s always value in positioning yourself to meet the outcome you seek. Know what that is before projecting your persona, and you’ll have a better chance of convincing others to view situations from your perspective.
Don’t appear guilty when refuting a claim that’s logged against you. There are times when how you say something is more important than what you say. That’s because people will perceive your words through the body language gestures you emit while speaking. Therefore, if your words and body language are misaligned, and your nonverbal behavior sends signals of guilt, those will be the overriding indicators that are received. Thus, you’ll become viewed as being more guilty than innocent.
Acting crazy – “Crazy is as crazy does.” That’s a cliché denoting how some can feign craziness and use it to advantage their position. They’ll be times when it’s appropriate to act crazy. Doing so will ward off some people that might attack you. And others will keep their distance because they’re not sure how you’ll behave or respond in situations. Thus, this can be a very potent tool to use in certain circumstances. Those environments might occur when you don’t want to appear predictable, or when you want your opponent to stay on guard. That diversion can keep his attention focused on other activities.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Every negotiation follows a logical flow. Even when it appears to be illogical, there’s a flow that will become logical. Hence, the better your logic is for what you want to occur during a negotiation, taking into consideration of the other negotiator’s reactions, the greater control you’ll have in that process. That should allow you to control the talks, which in turn should lead to a higher negotiation outcome for you … and everything will be right with the world.
“How To Negotiate Better By Knowing What Value Is”
What do you know about value?
“… I’m so sorry for your inconvenience. I can upgrade you to a better room.” Those were the words spoken by a front desk person at a 5-star hotel. He was informing a guest of what he could do as the result of the patron experiencing a restless night. The patron’s restlessness was due to his loud neighbors in other rooms on the floor. The patron had begun calling the front desk around 12-midnight to complain. Throughout the night, he called several more times – all to no avail to squelch the noise that prevented him from sleeping. He thought to himself, and this yammering is ceaseless.
When he checked out of the hotel the next morning, he told the desk manager of his experience. The manager extended apologies on behalf of the hotel, stated that the night’s stay would be removed from the guest’s bill and asked if there was anything else that he could do. The patron said no. I appreciate the gestures you’ve made. Then he said, “all I wanted was a good night’s sleep. I have an important meeting today. And I just wanted to be fresh and well-rested.” As he left the hotel, he wondered if he’d ever stay at that location again.
Do you see the difference between how the front desk person and the desk manager addressed the situation? It’s slight. But it’s also powerful. The desk manager extended apologies, and he asked the guest if there was anything else that he could do. He was seeking the guest’s perspective of value. In other words, he wanted to know what was essential to the guest. If you don’t know what someone values, you don’t know what to offer them. That means you’re making blind offers when doing so in a negotiation.
When you negotiate, there are five factors to keep in mind about value.
People have a different perspective on what they value and why. Once you know their value perspective, seek to understand it.
Don’t assume because someone is like you that they’ll like you. Even when people have similar values, there will be nuances that separate their opinions about value. To assume you share exact ideals as your negotiation counterpart can lead to offers and counteroffers that are not valued. In a worst-case scenario, such offers can be damaging to your negotiation efforts.
When you’re unsure of a person’s value, ask what they’d least like to lose. The reply will indicate what is of most importance.
To test someone about their value, ask, “if there’s one thing that I could grant you in this negotiation, what would it be?” Once again, that person’s value proposition will reside in their response.
This last suggestion may fall into the red herring category. It entails discovering something you possess that’s of great value to the other negotiator. Entice that person to believe that he can acquire it but at a very high cost. The higher he’s willing to pay for the acquisition, the higher the value of possessing it will be. Be cautious when engaging this means of acquiring someone’s value perspective. If you don’t allow them to receive it after getting them to make substantial offers, they could become unwilling to grant you much after that. Then, the negotiation might hit a roadblock.
To become a better negotiator, you must always understand what is of value to your negotiation counterpart. Once you do, making better offers will be more comfortable – because you’ll know which offers possess the highest value … and everything will be right with the world.
“Are You Better Or Worse Under A Pressure Deadline”
I’ll ask you a question in a moment. It’s one that you should have a ready answer. Don’t analyze your response before stating it – answer it in your mind as soon as you read it. The question is, are you better or worse under a pressured deadline?
What was your first answer? Did you think of one before that? Okay. The last question was a trick. Because I asked about your first answer, therefore, there should not have been one before it. But sometimes, when you’re under pressure, you don’t think logically. And, in some cases, you don’t realize that you’re outside the boundaries of reasoning. That can lead to adverse outcomes.
Now that you’re more aware of the thought process you engaged in, analyze the first question I asked again. Are you better or worse under a pressured deadline? Do you have a different answer this time? If so, what caused you to change it? If it’s the same, what did you consider in not changing it? Even if you didn’t alter your response, what were some of your additional thoughts?
You should always be aware of how you perform under pressure and the circumstances that affect your performance. Stress impacts your thought process, which affects your performance. And deadlines impact pressure.
The following are ways that you can perform better under the pressure of deadlines and enhance your performance.
Psychology of Deadlines:
Mindset – Be keenly aware of how you act and react under pressure. You should be mindful of how different forms of stress impact your mind and performance too. If you’re aware of that, you’ll be better prepared to address the challenges that will confront you. Even when some of them appear in the form of surprises.
Self-actualization – There will be times when your actions are motivated by a drive to prove to yourself that you can achieve a goal. Even if you’re aware that you have other items with higher priorities, you may elevate a less critical task above them. Then, as the deadline approaches, to complete the other tasks, you find pressure building. And you like it!
The point to remember about self-actualization is, you have to balance it. Weigh it against the importance of addressing real priorities versus those you make up to challenge yourself. While there’s nothing wrong with challenging yourself, do it when it serves you best. Don’t create unnecessary stress for yourself.
Competition – In some environments, you’re more competitive than in others. Know what motivates you to become more competitive in specific situations. And determine what position you’ll play in that competitive game.
Here’s the point. Others can create stress in you but only if you allow them. So, if you determine how you’ll react in environments where someone attempts to motivate you by pitting others against one another, you can choose to participate or not. You’re the one in control of your thoughts, your mind, and your actions. So, control yourself.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Deadlines are constant tools that negotiators attempt to employ in a negotiation. They do so because it stimulates pressure. And, good negotiators are aware that people respond differently to pressure. Thus, a good negotiator knows how to exact action by exciting pressure points. She does so based on the activities she wants her opponent to enact.
If you want to become a more efficient negotiator, always consider how you’ll use deadlines to induce pressure. And how you’ll use that as a tool to nudge the other negotiator in one direction versus another. Having a well thought out plan to implement, what could prove to be a decisive instrument, will allow you to control a negotiation better. Having that ability will enable you to have more favorable negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.