“Powerful Body Language Secrets That You Need To Know”
He was overly impressed with her and her accomplishments. His embrace was meant to display just that – his swell of pride for her. But during the embrace, he felt her attempt to break free as a hostage might do at the first glimpse of freedom. He wondered what he’d done wrong. Later he commented to her about the embrace – and the perception he had of her breaking free. She smiled and said, at least you were aware of it – most people aren’t. I don’t like being hugged.
How attuned are you to the #body #language #secrets that people emit every day? If you are aware of such signals, what do you observe the most and why?
The following are a few body language insights that will allow you to understand people better and become a better communicator.
The gesture becomes displayed when someone shifts their head to the right or left after its been in a straight or opposite position. It’s interesting to note when it occurs because it denotes someone going into an inward evaluation. Thus, the gesture may originate from something you said or thoughts the person is contemplating.
One eyebrow cocked – This sign usually indicates inquisitiveness as to the possible believability of what’s said or outright skepticism.
Lowered eyebrows – Guarded, deception, annoyance, are the signs that this gesture indicates.
Raised eyebrows – Taking in more of the environment – can also denote surprise or interest (note the degree that the eyes widen – that’ll give you more information as to the thought of the person displaying the gesture.)
Palm Hand Gestures:
Hand up, palm facing out –The hand up and palm facing outward signals nonverbally to the other person to halt what they’re saying or doing. As the receiver of that action, you can gauge the degree of the intent by the distance the action extends from the other person’s body. As an example, if they commit the action and their hand is close to their body, the signal is not as strong as if they had a full-body extension of their hand – that would be a stronger gesture because they’re indicating a greater distance between themselves and what you’re saying or doing.
Palm up and open – Accepting, mentally open to receiving information – can also be internal mental contemplation. It can also be a sign of consternation – this occurs if hunched shoulders accompany the gesture.
As a body language signal, feet convey more information than most people are aware of. Thus, you should always be mindful of what someone’s feet are signaling.
Feet aligned – When your feet are in alignment with the person with whom you’re engaged (i.e. both sets of feet are pointing at each other), both of you are succinctly engaged with one another – you’re in mental alignment.
Foot pointing away – As someone points a foot away from you, they’re shifting their weight because:
Something else has attracted their attention.
They’ve received enough information from you for the time.
Soon, they’re going to exit the conversation and do so in the direction their foot is pointed in.
Take note of when such gestures occur. Doing so will allow you the insight to shift and control the conversation.
At the beginning of this article, I posed the question of how attuned are you to the body language secrets that people emit every day. As you see, there are many signals that you might observe. And, if you’re aware when such signals occur, you’ll have greater insight into the mindset of the people you interact with. That will allow you to better understand them and communicate more effectively. Plus, it’ll give you an insider’s roadmap into their thought process and where it’s headed. That too will allow you to help them upon their journey or exit because you choose not to accompany them. Either way, you’ll have greater control of the environments you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.
“Shoulder Shrugs Can Expose Scary Secrets In A Negotiation”
Have you heard the cliché, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”? If you have, do you subscribe to it? If you do, you shouldn’t. Because, a lack of knowledge can expose you to scary secrets in a negotiation – secrets that can bite you at the most unsuspecting points in the negotiation. But, there’s one way you can protect yourself. How – by accurately interpreting the meaning of shoulder shrugs when you negotiate.
Shoulder shrugs convey secret information. They expose hidden thoughts of the person that’s attempting to hide those thoughts.
Observe the following shoulder shrug examples. You’ll obtain hidden information that those shrugs attempt to conceal.
When a person displays a shoulder shrug, it can represent a multitude of hidden meanings. It can be a sign of reluctance (i.e. what more do you expect of me) – a sign of protection (i.e. I’m not going to stick my neck out) – it can also be a sign of exasperation (i.e. I’m getting tired of this). Regardless of the hidden meaning, it gives additional insight into the thoughts of that person.
Single Shrug: A single shrug can denote a lack of full commitment in response to a question or statement made.
When displaying a single shoulder shrug, a person will tend to favor their dominant side. This is important to note – because it adds additional meaning to the shrug. As an example, if someone that’s right-handed shrugs their left shoulder, he may be displaying less of a commitment to the response that caused the gesture. As with everything related to reading body language, you must establish someone’s body language foundation before you can accurately assess the validity of their actions.
Double Shrug: A double shrug (both shoulders elevated) can connote more commitment to a reply or statement. As an example, if one elevated both shoulders while stating, “I didn’t do it”, she’d be displaying more commitment to the statement then if she displayed a single shrug – note: to discern the probability of the truth you should still probe deeper. The act of the shrug is that person’s commitment to her pronouncement at that moment – it can change with further probing.
When someone performs a double shrug, that person’s hands provide additional insights. As an example, if an offer is made consisting of two items and the recipient says, “I don’t care”, while shrugging with one hand higher than the other, he’s nonverbally expressing a preference for one of the items – the preference lies in the order the items were offered or their proximity to the hand that’s higher.
Additional Shrug Meanings:
Hands: The movement of someone’s hands lends insights into their thoughts. To gather additional awareness per the meaning of a shrug, take note of …
hands close to the body – indicates they’re guarded
hands palms-up – signals they have less to conceal
hands palms-down – they’re less accepting
hands palms-up-and-out – says, keep away from me
Head Tuck: To observe how threatened someone might feel when they shrug, note the degree they protect their head when …
head extends forward – says, I’ll challenge you
head to one side – denotes preference
head straight up – states, I’m willing to expose more of myself
head tucked – says, I’m making myself less of a target
Of course, the additional shrug meanings can conceal someone’s real intent. That’s because good negotiators can affect this maneuver to add perceived emotional credibility to their effect.
Always note the length of time a shrug lasts and the number of times they occur. The length and number of times will indicate a person’s ever-changing degree of angst or determination to get you to back off. In all cases, they’ll be signaling information that you can use to enhance the negotiation.
Start noticing when, under what circumstances, and how frequently people shrug their shoulders. Doing that will increase your attentiveness and skills about this behavior. That will allow you to become a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.
The more powerful you are, the more powerful you’ll be. To become more powerful quicker, unlock the powerful hidden secrets that reveal your power.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
The evening was turning ugly – It appeared an impasse was at hand. Then, Amie spoke – “since John said he was not trying to insult you and he apologized, how would you feel if what you perceived to be an insult hadn’t occurred? Would you feel better?” With that, Harry said, “I’d feel a lot better.” Then she said, “well, let’s continue from the point of you feeling a lot better.” Everyone smiled, became congenial, and continued with that demeanor for the rest of the evening. Amie’s friend turned to her and said, “I didn’t know you had hidden powers. Are there more powerful hidden secrets concealed in you?”
Tapping Into Your Powers:
Do you know what hidden secret abilities you have? Just because others can’t see your hidden powers doesn’t mean you have to keep them concealed from yourself. Do you know how to tap into them? Those questions were meant to make you think. Because, if you don’t know there are hidden secret abilities in you, you won’t know how to tap into them. To reveal them …
First, sense that there’s more power living inside of you. That’s the catalyst, the starting point, at which you’ll move it to a higher sense of self-awareness. To do that …
Note how you feel in different environments based on the people you’re with (e.g. their status, their skills, your relationship to them, how they perceive you, how you want them to perceive you).
Observe how you feel when others give you feedback through what they say, how they say it, and/or what they do when you’re in different environments. In some cases, you’ll become emboldened. At other times, you may shrink. Take note of why you experienced either. That will allow you to uncover more of your hidden powers.
Embracing Your Powers:
Everyone possesses hidden abilities. You have such secrets concealed in you too. Over time, you’ve accumulated coping strategies that have allowed you to become more powerful. In some cases, you’ve held some of that power back for fear of what might occur if you unleashed it. If you identify fear as a source that prevents you from being more powerful, ask yourself what are you fearful of. And what’s the worst possible outcome that could occur if you confronted that fear. Again, you’ll be tapping into the source of the hidden power within you. That’ll be the beginning process of releasing that power and giving it life.
As you get older, you become more emboldened – you castoff concerns about what others think of you. You state, take me for who and what I am. The point is, you don’t have to wait until you’re older. You can do that right now! Doing so will allow you to unleash more of the powerful hidden secrets concealed in you … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Sometimes, when negotiators negotiate, they have a tendency to be overly adventuress or overwhelmed at the negotiation table. In either case, their power, or lack of, is the cause of that state. Therefore, you must be aware of what’s motivating you during your negotiations. Too much false bravado can sink you. Too little means you’re leaving too much on the table.
Negotiations occur in every aspect of your daily life. Thus, the better you negotiate in any environment, the greater the outcomes you’ll have. If you’d like to have those greater outcomes occur more frequently, learn to tap into more of the powerful secrets concealed in you.
“Why were you blathering in there? You disclosed our secrets!” Such were the words of one exasperated negotiator to her team member.
When was the last time you disclosed too much information? Were you aware of doing that? The methods good negotiators use can expose hidden secrets. They know how to silently probe your mind and get you to divulge those secrets when negotiating.
Continue reading to discover what those techniques are, how you can use them, and how you can prevent them from being employed against you.
1. Broad Perspective:
Begin your hidden interrogation by speaking from a very broad perspective; I’m talking about ‘side of the barn broad’. The intent is to arouse suspicion that you might be on to something greater than what you’re portraying. Hang just enough bait to get the other negotiator talking. Note what he talks about, how he does it, and any mood and/or body language alterations that occur as he’s speaking. Look for displays of calmness versus tension.
2. Known Unknowns:
Consider citing unknown knowns. Cite information the other negotiator doesn’t think you have. You’ll get his attention. Enhance this ploy by making proclamations that are slightly off the mark. That will loosen his tongue. Observe what that tongue divulges. Even if you think it’s the truth, state otherwise. Note the degree that he’s consistent and convincing. Repeat this process if his words remain suspect.
3. Images and Words:
While engaging in the negotiation, invoke conjured thoughts from the images your words create. The effectiveness of this ploy will appear in glazed eyes, him retreating into a dazed like state or one in which he’s melancholia. During that state, pose probing questions to uncover hidden secrets. You should know what questions to ask based on what you suspect is undisclosed.
4. Pattern Interrupts:
Introduce confusion into the negotiation by saying or doing something unexpectedly; for the best effect create an impression that’s random. The purpose is to jolt his mind away from his current thoughts and instead focus on something that’s superfluous. Then, ask him to resume where he left off. No matter what he says, provide your assessment of what you thought he was saying before the interruption occurred. Present a perspective that’s aligned with an outcome you’re seeking. Watch what he says in response and how he says it (i.e. lean away/look to the side = putting distance from himself and your words, focusing his eyes on you/leaning towards you = aligned with the intent of his words). Based on your assessment, challenge him with your version of the story and observe how he reacts. If he alters his position, even slightly, you’ll be at the threshold of hidden information.
Sounds and the deepness/richness or lack of can lead to different thought processes. Seek to understand the sounds and pace that move your negotiation counterpart to experience different thoughts. Then, employ those sounds as your assistant to uncover deeper/hidden thoughts; you should also consider using a cacophony of sounds to disrupt her current thought process.
If she’s stymied in thought, use the ‘universal focus’ or ‘infinite depth of field’ approach to assist her in liberating those thoughts (Note: In some movies, multiple scenarios occur simultaneously. The viewer decides which one to focus on.) Observe the one she chooses and assess the degree of hidden information that’s contained in that choice.
In your very next negotiation, attempt to uncover hidden information by utilizing the above strategies. You’ll be amazed at what you uncover … and everything will be right with the world.