“At some point, every bully loses his powers. But that doesn’t mean the bully becomes powerless.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)
“This Is What Happens To A Brazen Bully In A Negotiation”
People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.
“She’s gone! It’s over. I guess all good things come to an end,” were her whimsical statements. So do bad things, was the response. And eventually, bad things happen to a bully, especially one that’s brazen. That’s occurred throughout history. A person gains power, abuses it, bully other people, and at some point, people gang-up on the bully to take back their power. Supremacy is always fluid, even while one is taking it from others. That whole process is an extended and drawn-out negotiation. Observe the following to gain insight into how a bully gains power, loses it, and what to guard against that may signal remnants of a bully’s power rising again.
Bully’s Path To Power and Destruction
In most cases, a brazen negotiation bully rises to power when the right situation meets the perfect opportunity – add to that point that bullying is already a significant part of his character. Eventually, he requires others to surrender to his attempts at dominance by making them fear him. The effect of his dominance will predict the length of authority in which he reigns. But time is ever-changing, and with it comes a change in a bully’s power. And when that transition occurs, a bully can have difficulties conceding loss and capitulating. While he’s in that mindset, he’s at his lowest point, and that can cause him to lash out at the system he feels has failed him, which in return can lead to his and his follower’s destruction. From a negotiation perspective, it’s important to note when that period occurs. Because he may throw the negotiation into chaos from which it may become difficult to regain control.
Lessons To Learn From A Bully’s Actions
Accusations
A brazen bully will make accusations in a negotiation that searches for evidence instead of having his proof leading to rational conclusions. When a negotiator attempts to foster his position with allegations that don’t align with facts, question his motives. The lack of rationalization of his actions may be the self-serving source driving him, which means he’s engaging in irrational thinking and activities to harm your position and enhance his.
Coalitions
One should always be aware of those with whom they can align. That’s the value of coalitions. The deliberation that a negotiator must make when building an alliance is how to keep it together and what the cost might be for doing so.
There will be times when segments of one’s supporters will be more trouble than it’s worth. In a bully’s case, he may attempt to browbeat them back into line – and for a while, they may submit to his pressure. But at some point, they may become the bully’s worst nightmare if they form new coalitions against him. When you sense that’s occurring, that’s your time of opportunity to spread chaos and disinformation amongst them. You’ll be weakening the bully’s power base, which will help to ferment burgeoning coalitions of your own.
Chaos
Intentionally or unintentionally, a bully sows discontent because of the imperfect rationalization he invokes in the environments he injects himself. It’s his lack of decorum that emboldens him to pursue his scorched-earth actions. Chaos becomes his aide and tool of choice.
Thus, to the degree you control a bully in a negotiation, you must regulate the mess he emits. To do that, focus on those that assist him in spreading his effects. The lesson being, always attempt to control a fire at its base. And with a bully that spews chaos, the faster you impact his supporters, the faster you’ll prevent the amount of turmoil he spreads.
Bully’s Aftermath
A bully’s disappearance may not come on the heels of what may be a considerable negotiation loss. He may reincarnate in an altered form, which is why you must be mindful of his power shifting into other dimensions. He may cloak and casts himself in a weighted blanket of uncertainty for a period amongst those upon which he projects his authority. In so doing, he’ll seek to instill his ranker amongst those that oppose him. He’ll do that to enhance his base while creating further divisions amongst his opposition. Thus, the more he divides others, the more control he’ll have in his environment.
To thwart his reincarnation efforts, as soon as he mounts his comeback, slay his efforts. Do that by reminding his backers of where you were in the negotiation, drama, and division, and offer them more significant opportunities for the future. Take time to understand their positions. Don’t criticize them. Instead, embrace their perspective and attempt to incorporate their views into your negotiation. If your efforts are successful, the bully will lose his base, and never again will he be able to mount a viable attack against you.
Reflection
The elixir to address a brazen bully in a negotiation may not always appear to be ready or viable. But over a negotiation’s extended time, you can glean adoptable actions that announce the point of engagement along with when to confront and cause a bully to alter his actions. To a degree, the degree that someone portrays himself as a foolhardy versus weak bully, the weak negotiator being one that’s testing his powers, you’ll have a sense of the propensity from which to mount your attack.
Every bully’s time will come and go. Therefore, always be aware of who gives a bully his currency, his source of power, because those aligned with him is his power source. And thus, since a bully’s friend most likely will become aligned against you, you must take into account your accountability against whom you’ll marshal your efforts. Once you do, you’ll have a broader perspective on addressing and protecting yourself from a brazen bully in your negotiation. Because when dealing with a shameless bully, to become more successful in your negotiation, look to the past for lessons you can use in the present. Accordingly, those past lessons will be your roadmap to more significant negotiation outcomes. And everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
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