Have you ever engaged in a negotiation with someone that was so closed-minded and/or antagonistic that she wouldn’t accept anything you said as the truth, even when you directed her to empirical data to prove your point? Such was the case I recently experienced with someone that was abrasive, lacked social skills, and came off as somewhat moronic.
Since men and women do it differently, negotiate that is, and the other individual was a women, I thought that experience might be good to highlight. So, the question becomes, how do you negotiate with someone of that ilk, when they’re a member of the opposite sex? To do so, you can employ the following strategies.
- In general, when an individual is disagreeable to the point of ad nauseam, they’re seeking recognition, as the result of something that’s lacking in their life; that’s psychology 101. Thus, it behooves you to probe in an attempt to uncover what the ‘missing’ ingredient is. Seriously try to understand what the other person is seeking (be careful not to ‘buy in’ to the negotiation too deeply in an effort to uncover the ‘demeans’ that may lie dormant within this negotiator). Remember the ‘time’ factor (the more time you spend in a negotiation, the more mentally committed you become to seeing an outcome, even if the outcome diminishes your position). When the negotiation is with a member of the opposite sex …
- Consider if there are underlying attractions, that one negotiator has for the other. If so, make sure you don’t mix business with pleasure. If you do, you could end up with an unfathomable negotiation outcome.
- Learn to be deflective when negotiating, especially with members of the opposite sex. When negotiations occur between men and women, hidden undercurrents may exist. You can ferret out some undercurrents by observing and interpreting the other person’s body language. Nevertheless, when you can’t ‘put your finger’ on exactly why there’s a disconnect occurring, consider whether the other negotiator’s response is shaped by the fact that he’s negotiating with a member of the opposite sex.
- Some people are equal opportunity offenders. As such, while considering the manner by which men negotiate differently than women, also consider the similarities that exist between you and members of the opposite sex and seek to capitalize on those similarities.
- If you reach an impasse with the idiot and you have to persist with the negotiation, consider negotiating with someone else.
In the end, negotiating with the idiot can be time consuming and mentally draining. Thus, consider the overall need for such a negotiation. If the outcome sought is not extremely valuable, break off the negotiation sooner versus later. You’ll save your brain cells, your mental sanity, and the strength to negotiate on another day … and everything will be right with the world.
The Negotiation Tips Are …
- Since men and women negotiate differently, consider the mental makeup of the member of the opposite sex, based on their gender. Consider what negotiating with them means to the negotiation. What you’re seeking are ways in which you might have to alter the negotiation. Plan accordingly and observe the alterations you apply to your plan as the negotiation progresses.
- Control the controllable. In a negotiation, don’t be stymied by someone that’s being imbecilic. If you sense you’ve engaged with such an individual, exit the negotiation at your earliest opportunity.
- For the untrained negotiator, it’s difficult to discern someone’s traits based on their physical appearance. Therefore, always consider the intangible of that person’s physiognomics. Physiognomics is the study of someone’s characteristics based on their physical appearance.
One word: Brilliant!!! Sums up my mother in law..