“The difference between winning a negotiation, and losing it, lives in the perception of a negotiator’s mind.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)
“When You Are In A Negotiation What Happens To The Winner”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Question: What’s the difference between winning a negotiation and losing it? Answer: The perception of the negotiation outcome. That means the only difference between those two perspectives is the mindset of the negotiators. So, do you think it’s better to be the winner in a negotiation or the loser? The answer is, it depends – and here’s why!
A win, or a loss, starts in your mind at the planning stage of a negotiation. It may occur before that when you initially consider acquiring something or a goal and begin to think about how you might bring it to fruition. That’s a valuable point to remember. Because you’re setting the expectations for the negotiation’s outcome, which means you’re assigning labels to it at that time. And the titles you give will be the judge of how you’ll feel at the conclusion.
Therefore, during this phase in the negotiation process, as you assign labels to its outcome, consider how you’ll view the negotiation’s conclusion and what you’ll do to enhance your expectations of it. In some situations, there’ll be nothing required of you. At other times, you’ll have to play mental games within your mind to soothe what might be your ego. Assess how you’ll do that, and you’ll be deeper into controlling your expectations and reasoning about the outcome.
Rarely, if ever, will both parties of a negotiation obtain 100% of what they seek. The exchange of offers and counteroffers will ensure that truism. Thus, the parties will settle on what they perceive to be their best outcome. From there, they’ll walk away from an agreed deal and make assessments about what they may have done differently to alter the outcome they experienced. The post-mortem of the negotiation will determine if the agreement remains intact or if it’s reopened. So, even if somehow you’re the declared winner of the talks, if the losing side feels aggrieved, they may seek to avenge their loss by becoming unabiding to the agreement. And that’s the reason that you should always ask yourself, after a negotiation, what happens to the winner.
Setup To Future Negotiations
A perceived winning or losing negotiation will set the tone for your future negotiation efforts. That’s to say, based on previous outcomes, you’ll adopt new tactics and strategies to employ in future negotiations. How you utilize your steps will become based on the demeanor you display when doing so. Thus, if you carry the burden of a loss into future negotiations, you may become less flexible. You may become more demanding to ensure the probability that you’ll win that negotiation; people tend to avoid that which displeases them, which is why you must be mindful of your emotional state when negotiating. If the buoyancy of confidence possesses you, you may carry a cocky attitude in the future due to winning the vast majority of your negotiations. That might saddle you with the hidden burden of having to defend yourself from the negotiator that wants bragging rights for having gotten the better of you. Accordingly, the win and loss perspective must focus on how you project your outcomes to others. If balanced, you run less of a risk of having other negotiators attempting to ‘put you in your place.’ You also increase the probability that they may work better with you – they have no extra incentives to do otherwise.
There’ll always be a delicate balancing act between how you view negotiation outcomes and the way others will interpret that perception. Control that view, that perception, and you’ll have greater control of what occurs, along with how it appears in your future negotiations.
You won’t win every negotiation in which you engage. And in some situations, you don’t want to be the perceived winner. That can serve as an impediment to more fruitful outcomes in future negotiations.
Therefore, as you engage in your future negotiations, remember that you’re also negotiating for your future results. Incorporate the thoughts presented in the preceding information. Allow it to help you determine what a winning outcome is versus one cloaked as a win in a loser’s cloth. The more you separate in your mind what success means, versus a loss, the better positioned you’ll become to win more negotiations. And everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/
After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
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