“Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence – How To Win More Negotiations Quicker” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Never has a negotiator been weaker than one that lacks emotional intelligence.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence How To Win More Negotiations Quicker”

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

During negotiation, emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of those with whom you negotiate. And emotional intelligence is essential in any situation, but it is especially crucial in negotiations. Because when you can recognize and respond to the other party’s emotions, you are positioned better to win more negotiations quicker.

Here are some tips for boosting your emotional intelligence to win more negotiations.

1. Assessing Thought Process

Before you negotiate, sit in a non-threatening, peaceful environment. Allow your mind to wander on the upcoming negotiation, and then focus your thoughts on the most prominent one. Ask yourself at that moment why that thought dominated your mind, and consider what controlled your thoughts that led to it.

You are attempting to identify thoughts that help or hinder your thinking. You are also identifying why and how they are doing that.

Once you have made that assessment, alter your thinking between happy, very happy, sad, and very sad thoughts. Vary the range to increase your thought-provoking process. Take note of the ones that frustrate you the most. Is it feeling like you are out of control or something else? Then, hone your mind on being happy regardless of your thoughts.

At that point, you are exercising mind control and boosting your emotional intelligence. And that is something you can do during negotiation to exercise greater control of yourself and the perception of your opposition’s actions.

2. Become Sensitive To Empathy

Empathy is the ability to emulate the emotional feelings of others. During negotiations, it can be a powerful aspect of building trust and creating a more positive and collaborative relationship. It can also help a negotiator understand what motivates the actions of the other negotiator, which circles back to building trust.

During negotiations, consider the thoughts motivating the other negotiator’s actions. To increase your senses, empathize with their position and what they are dealing with to achieve their negotiation goals. Looking at and empathizing with your counterpart will allow you to understand them better, which can lead to an easier negotiation.

3. Understanding The Power Of Leverage

Another powerful aspect of emotional intelligence is recognizing who has leverage in a negotiation. Power is fluid, meaning it changes throughout the talks, and leverage drives that change.

By being mindful of the ebbs and flows of leverage, negotiators can increase their negotiation position. They can do so to the degree that they know which emotions drive a negotiator’s actions. Thus, emotional intelligence heightens a negotiator’s awareness and enriches the opportunity for them to win more negotiations quicker.

4. Body Language And Emotional Intelligence

Body language is a form of nonverbal communication involving physical gestures, posture, and facial expressions to convey emotions and intentions. It can be a powerful tool for enhancing emotional intelligence because it allows negotiators to understand better and express their feelings, as well as read and interpret the emotions of others.

For example, when a negotiator feels anxious or stressed, they may fidget, avoid eye contact, or speak rapidly. By paying attention to these nonverbal cues, individuals can become more attuned to their own emotions and the emotions of the other negotiator, allowing them to respond more appropriately and effectively.

In addition, reading and interpreting body language can also help individuals build stronger relationships, as it allows them to show empathy and be more responsive to the other negotiator. It can also help to reduce misunderstandings and conflicts, as it enables individuals to communicate more effectively and understand the intentions and motivations of others.

5. Use Feedback To Enhance Emotional Intelligence

Another way to boost your emotional intelligence is to seek feedback from your negotiation counterpart, and the best way to accomplish that is to listen intently. Listening intently entails paying attention to the word choices used by the other negotiator to represent their thoughts. It also means being observant of the pace at which they speak.

You can glean additional information about the mood of the opposition by how they alter the pace of their speech and the words they use. And ask probing questions about what you have sensed and get their feedback to confirm your perception. That becomes the loop whereby you use listening to enrich your emotional intelligence while it drives you closer to winning more negotiations.  


When considering how boosting your emotional intelligence can lead to winning negotiation outcomes in any situation, first, think about how you feel. That means you are in the moment. And being in the moment is what drives your emotions. Once you are further from that moment, your thoughts will alter, leading you to adopt different actions. Always stop and understand what is leading you to consider the acts you contemplate before you make them.  

Suffice it to say that using emotional intelligence to win more negotiations does not have to become complicated. But you have to be intelligent about controlling your emotions. To negotiate effectively, remember that no actions of an opponent can be as devastating as the mind of a negotiator that lacks emotional intelligence.

Accordingly, once you gain greater insight into your mental attitude during negotiations and what controls it, you should be further ahead of mastering your emotions. That will assure you of more winning negotiation outcomes. And everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

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After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

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