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“The Danger In The ‘Us Versus Them’ Dilemma” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“When it comes to an ‘us versus them’ mentality, potential danger looms in the inability to understand ‘them’.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

 

“The Danger In The ‘Us Versus Them’ Dilemma”

 

“If we stick together, we can overcome them.” Those were the words of a devoted follower of his group. That is, he was a follower until he realized that he did not want to follow the group in the direction it was going.

 

There’s danger in the ‘us versus them’ mindset; it’s a dilemma people don’t realize when they’re in it. So, what is that danger and why should you be mindful of its pitfalls?

Psychologically, everyone needs to belong to an entity that’s larger than themselves. That’s not the dangerous part of the dilemma; the danger lies in the degree that you’re willing to follow the group, based on your own beliefs, and the confliction that might be caused as the result of those two being out of sync with one another. It also highlights what can occur, per how you view what the group terms as enemies of its norms. You hear that in the intonation of, “they’re not like us.” Therefore, something must be wrong with them.

If one adopts the latter mindset, their mind becomes clouded by the prominent thought that someone that doesn’t share the same norms as the group that they belong to, must be ‘missing the boat’ (i.e. not seeing something right). Once such a mindset is adopted, you’ll seek confirmation in the actions of those that are unlike your group, to confirm why you can’t treat them like you treat members of your group. In essence, your mind will have been jaded to receiving positive thoughts and ideas that might otherwise allow you to see ‘the others’ in a positive light.

If you want to be more open-minded, do so by believing, and allowing your thoughts to be moved by, the thinking that people may have different opinions and perspectives about something, but because they do, that doesn’t make them wrong or a bad person.

When it comes to ‘us versus them’, keep an open mind with the intent to discover something new about the perspective being discussed. Doing so will allow you to gain more insight into anything that you weigh. That will make you a more informed individual … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

In a negotiation, you should always be mindful as to how you’re being influenced by the biases you have, towards the person making the proposal or offer. Even if you don’t like the initial offer, don’t let your initial emotions alter its appearance. There may be more than meets the eye, if you keep an open mind and consider any hidden benefits the offer might contain.

Good negotiators are aware that they can control a negotiation better, by controlling themselves. When it comes to, ‘us versus them’ in a negotiation, such a demeanor will only serve as a blight on an otherwise more successful negotiation outcome.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#Danger #Dilemma #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Don’t Hurt The Leader’s Position” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

“A leader is someone that can lead or follow. Always know the role of your leader.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Don’t Hurt The Leader’s Position”

 

In the daily activities of everyone’s life, everyone follows someone. Thus, those that you follow have influence by the fact that you anoint them as someone to lead you. You embolden them with that privilege by the fact that you follow their edict/mandate/suggestions. That being the case, don’t undermine the leader by:

  1. going off-point per a strategy that has been discussed and agreed upon (e.g. going around the leader to gain attention for yourself, etc.)
  2. engaging with outside sources that have not been agreed upon – make sure the leader knows what you’re planning to do
  3. creating ad-hoc strategies when you’re in the midst of interactions with those that are not on your team/group

 

When you subvert the direction of the lead that you’ve granted to someone else, you forgo potential opportunities, and diminish your team’s ability to implement the plan that’s been agreed upon; that can be costly in time and opportunities. You may also be cloaking into darkness the light of opportunities that may have shown themselves to you in the future (i.e. if you prove not to be a team player, no one will want you on their team.)

If you’re going to be a team player, play follow the leader by supporting the person that you’ve chosen to follow. Do so to the degree that such returns are beneficial to you and the team. Once you decide that you no longer wish to engage, inform the leader of your intent and disengage. Don’t just drop out without any communication. If you restrict the flow of communications, you don’t know what potential door(s) you’ll close that might have offered opportunities that could lead you to higher heights.

As long as you’ve decided to follow the leader, don’t hurt her. You’ve made a conscious decision to allow her to lead. So, follow her lead as long as it serves you and her … and everything will be right with the world.

 

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

In a team negotiation environment, the leader of the team can position and pose as any of its members; it doesn’t have to be the person that projects the image of a leader at the negotiation table. Depending on the strategy chosen by the team, the leader may pose as someone that’s in a strategic position for a particular negotiation. He may also be positioned as someone that a senior person on the team can replace once the negotiation has reached a certain point.

The point is, once you have a strategy in place, don’t undermine it by undermining the person that’s the lead for the negotiation. Not only will you be weakening her, you’ll also be weakening your team’s negotiation position and the perspective beneficial outcome of the negotiation for all of you.

 

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to  sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Leadership

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“How To Really Overcome A Bully Before Negotiating” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“A bully is a misguided person with perceived power. Extinguish his sources of power and you extinguish the bully.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“How To Really Overcome A Bully Before Negotiating”

 

Do you know how to really overcome a bully before negotiating with him? There you are. You’re negotiating against a bully! He’s someone that’s willing to lie, cheat, and steal to come out ahead in the negotiation. You think to yourself, ‘what can I do? This son-of-a-gun is not playing fair and I don’t know how to overcome him!’ The answer to, ‘what can I do’ was hidden in what occurred before the negotiation began.

The following insights will allow you to position yourself better to overcome a bully’s ploys before you negotiate with him.

 

Positioning:

In every negotiation, positioning occurs. It’s shown in the way the negotiators perceive each other and themselves. Thus, positioning is important because it determines how negotiators will interact with one another.

If you know you’ll be negotiating against someone that has bullied others in the past, before entering into the negotiation, attempt to discover the demeanor of those individuals. In particular seek to define whether they were perceived to be weak by your opponent due to their short-comings, or if your opponent felt empowered due to some other factor(s) he had going for himself at the time of the negotiation(s). That information will allow you to best position yourself from a position of strength. A bully’s loathing for weakness is the reason he only picks on targets that he perceives to be weak.

 

 

Leverage: (ploys you can employ when negotiating with a bully)

Using Other people

All bullies look up to someone. If you can find a way to curry favor with the bully’s icon, you can supplant his bullying efforts against you. After all, the bully wants an easy target. If the bully’s icon has favored you, that makes you less of a target to the bully.

Bully’s weakness

All bullies have an Achilles heel. It may be how they wish to be perceived by others. It may also appear in the form of the bully being perceived in one light versus another. Whatever it is, discover it and be prepared to exploit it during the negotiation if such is called for.

Bully’s Persona (his vanity)

If you’re aware of the pride a bully takes in having himself perceived in a certain light, attempt to alter that light; have it shine on someone or somewhere else. You will have taken away his source of motivation. Hold it hostage until he dismantles his bullying ways. The point is, hit him where you’ll get the most attention and where it will hurt him the most. Remember, he despises weakness and applauds strength.

 

Be Stealthy:

Every good negotiator gathers information about the opposing negotiator. When you know you’ll be negotiating against a bully, drip misinformation into places that he seeks to gather information about you. The better you can use such information to misguide him, the more difficult it’ll be for him to assess the type of negotiator you are; always be willing to display a different negotiation demeanor based on the opposing negotiator.

 

When engaging a bully in a negotiation, there are all kinds of mind games that occur. Utilize the insights above and you’ll be in a better mental state than the bully. The better you play the game, the greater the chance that you’ll be able to overcome a bully when negotiating … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Bully

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thanksgiving – A Time To Be Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

No matter the size or what your troubles are, you have something to be thankful for.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged ,

“Expert Advice On How To Negotiate With A Bully” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To be fearless against a bully display what he fears.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

“Expert Advice On How To Negotiate With A Bully”

 

Follow this expert advice to negotiate with a bully.

 

  1. Differentiate between a bully that may be controlling versus bullying. Some people don’t see themselves as bullies. They may be the type that likes to be in control of situations and display overly aggressive means to maintain that control. The two perspectives possess different mindsets.

 

  1. Identify the personality type of the bully you’re negotiating with (you’re always negotiating). Thus, even in your first encounter with a person (and after that time), you should assess that person’s traits, demeanor, and characteristics. Doing so will give you the insight needed to formulate a negotiation strategy.

 

  1. Determine the best environment to negotiate with a bully. He may be stronger in one environment as the result of resources surrounding him or those he has to ‘save face’ for; this may also tend to make him cockier than he’d normally be. If that’s the case, get him out of his environment; this should be done physically and/or psychologically. In doing so you’ll dilute his psychological powers and weaken him mentally in the process (i.e. power is perceptional).

 

  1. If addressing a bully on a one-on-one basis doesn’t achieve your objective(s), marshal forces to use as leverage against him. Depending on the situation, let those that he has more respect for take the lead on your behalf; never let a bully know how strong your forces are. You must be prepared to send in a second, third, fourth, etc., wave that’s stronger than what preceded it. For maximum effect, the timing of your next foray should occur just when the bully thinks he’s squashed your best efforts. In normal situations, over time you’ll wear the bully down and he’ll acquiesce to your wishes. Be mindful of the bully that won’t acquiesce over a period of exhaustive negotiations when forces have been marshaled against him. You might be dealing with a bully that’s willing to destroy himself for the sake of denying you any kind of victory. To prevent from making too many concessions, establish exit points that indicate when you should depart the negotiation. Always be mindful that, the longer you stay engaged in a negotiation, the likelier you are to make concessions to your disadvantage. This is due to the psychological need to see the negotiation to its end. This could be to your severe detriment.

 

  1. Once you’ve achieved your objective(s), over a period of time reengage the bully from a polite perspective and observe how he interacts with you. To the degree the relationship is important to you, be prepared to let him win an encounter, but never let him bully you again. Your prior actions should be engrained in his mind to the point that he’d not want to experience the prior encounter that you two engaged in.

 

  1. As further insight into the affects your engagement has had with a bully, note how those closes to the bully engage with you after an encounter. Their actions will allow you to assess the degree of sting that still resides in the bully.

 

Bullies only pick on those that they perceive to be weaker than themselves. Don’t let a bully perceive weakness in you and he’ll have no target to attack … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

#HowToNegotiateBetter #HowToNegotiateWithBully #PreventBullying

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“The Hidden Value of Trust In A Negotiation (DACA)” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“Without trust, failure awaits you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert

 

The Hidden Value of Trust In A Negotiation DACA

 

“The Hidden Value of Trust In A Negotiation (DACA)”

 

When someone trusts you in a negotiation (you’re always negotiating), they’re more likely to believe what you tell them. Thus, there’s hidden value in trust when negotiating from a long-term perspective. Once trust is broken it’s difficult to regain it. Therefore, broken trust sets off negative ripples that can have unintended and unexpected consequences in the future.

Let’s look at the trust factor with DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) as an example. The kids in the DACA program were brought to the US by their parents. In most cases, they had no input as to whether they would stay where they were, or travel to the US. They instinctively trusted their parents with that decision. Then, there’s the US government.

The US government basically said, if you register for the DACA program and abide by our requirements (i.e. check in every 2 years and make payment to stay in the program, go to college, serve in the military, stay employed, pay taxes), you’ll be OK in the US.

Some registered and some didn’t. Those in the DACA program trusted the government and abided by their mandate. Then, trust was thrust out the window. Those in the DACA program cried, ‘We did what you asked of us! Why are you going back on your word? We trusted you!’ Those that did not register for the program, if not stated out loud silently thought, ‘see, I told you so; you should not have trusted them. The government can’t be trusted. Now, the information you gave them will be used against you.’ The ripple that such a message sent to non-DACA members was, stay in the shadows and let the darkness protect you.

In the eyes of those in the program, the US government went back on its word and broke the trust it had conveyed. Suffice it to say, the ripples set forth from this situation will cause the government not to be trusted in future matters by different entities. They’ll mentally relate their situation to the resemblance of the DACA plight. That means those submitting information requested by the government will be skeptical at best and cynical at worse when contemplating a course of action that they should adopt. In essence, through the loss of trust, the government has made it more difficult for others to trust it.

If I tell you the truth, will you believe what I say and trust me? If my perception of the truth is altered in the future, will I be declared a liar? If so, what will become of our future negotiation efforts? Those are questions every negotiator needs to consider before and during a negotiation. That’s the hidden force that trust has on a negotiation.

When trust is the foundation upon which a negotiation is built, the truth becomes a happier companion in the negotiation. Therefore, when the truth as one knows it shifts, the shifting of the truth can still have believability.

Change allows you to embrace new experiences, and everything changes. Thus, what’s true today may be proven not to be valid tomorrow. Nevertheless, once trust has been established and nurtured by consistency, over a period of time change can withstand the onslaught of doubt and suspension. In so doing, even when your negotiations become difficult, you’ll have less of a challenge finding a path to success, simply because you had trust adding hidden value to your negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“In Negotiation and Life Perception Drives Reality” – Negotiation Infographic Tip

 

In negotiations and life, the way you think is based on your perception. That’s what really drives the perspective you have of your reality. So, how might you be better positioned to enhance your perception and thus make your perspective of reality work best for you? Engage with this negotiation infographic tip for insights.

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Negotiation Infographic Tip and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Body Language – Know Difference Between Consternation & Constipation” – Negotiation Infographic Tip

When deciphering body language, you have to know what you’re looking for and be able to differentiate the meaning of one gesture versus another. You should also be aware of the stimuli that caused the reaction that you observe. The body always seeks to be in a state of comfort. Thus, when it experiences discomfort, it compensates through action to obtain the level of comfort it needs to feel safe and comfortable.

The following negotiation infographic is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but you’ll get the point made above by the infographic.

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Body Language and Physiognomics, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Negotiation Psychology, Negotiation Infographic Tip and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Happiness Is A State Of Mind” – Sunday Negotiation Insight

 

Sunday Negotiation Insight”

 

“Happiness is a state of mind and you’re the master of its control.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 

 

“Happiness Is A State Of Mind”

 

When are you the happiest? If you don’t have an answer that instantly comes to mind, you’re not fully engaged with your true state of happiness or your mind. That means you’re not really sure of what activities to engage in that lead to your happiness. Even more import, that implies you don’t know how to turn your happiness on.

Understanding what really makes you happy is essential to how and when you engage in life. It determines with whom you’ll engage, how you’ll engage with them, the length of time you’ll stay engaged, and why you’ll end the engagement. That applies to any and all aspects of your life, especially when negotiating.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

During a negotiation, as it ebbs and flows, your demeanor will ebb and flow with it. If you’re not consciously aware of such fluctuations, you’ll balance your emotions on what’s akin to the head of a pin. In such a state, you become more exposed to possible manipulation. If you’re aware of how to stimulate your sense of happiness, the prospect of letting your guard down and being exposed to manipulation is decreased. That means you can go to your happy place in your mind during such challenging times and use that state of mind to shield you from kneejerk reactions that might otherwise lead to negative thoughts.

Once you become more mindful of what stimulates your perspective of happiness, you can use that stimulation to alter the way you view situations. Doing so will allow you to stay in greater control of yourself, the other negotiator, and the outcome of the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What do you think? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Sunday Message of Hope and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Smart Negotiators Know Where To Look To Win” – Negotiation Infographic Tip

In order to win more negotiations, you must have a plan and know where to look for a winning negotiation outcome. If you leave the negotiation outcome to chance, you could miss vital signs that say, detour road blocked ahead. Thus, you must always be alert and very watchful of what to look for when negotiating.

Look at this week’s Negotiation Infographics Tip for more insights.

 

Smart Negotiators Know Where To Look To Win

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Greg Williams in Uncategorized, Strategies for Successful Negotiations, Negotiation Tips, Difficult Negotiations & Conflict Resolution, Social Media and Negoiating, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation Psychology, Negotiation Infographic Tip and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,