“Increase Your Negotiation Skills – How To Win More Of Your Negotiations” – Negotiation Insight

“Winning is good! But being fixated on it solely can make it lose its luster.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“Increase Your Negotiation Skills

How To Win More Of Your Negotiations”

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

Have you considered increasing your negotiation skills to achieve more significant outcomes from your negotiation efforts? What value would you place on having an ability to improve the results of your dealings with others in all of your daily activities? That is a serious question to ponder because the little things we do every day grant us the most significant returns for our efforts.

So, no matter your discipline, station in life, or endeavors, resolve yourself to increase your negotiation skills; the payoff will benefit you for your lifetime. The following are thoughts to enhance and improve your negotiation skills.

State Of Mind

But you do not understand! You must always be aware of your state of mind and that of the other negotiator. Because, in part, that will dictate how the two of you interact. Thus, you can gain greater control of the negotiation by maintaining greater control of your mental perspective and your counterpart.  

For example, when your counterpart states, but you do not understand, she speaks from her perspective of the problem she believes you are not grasping. Rather than go into defense or self-protection mode, it might behoove you to probe deeper about her assertions. And do so while controlling your emotions.

To explore, ask her to explain why she believes you do not understand her. Ask her to paraphrase her comments several times if needed. And above all, be mindful to keep your emotions under control. After all, it is easy to lose focus while defending yourself against her assertions that you do not understand her. That can become a trap that causes the negotiation to become stuck in a quagmire.   

Understanding The Stakes

Have you ever gotten caught by your negotiation counterpart exclaiming, that is not what we are negotiating? Instantly, a light comes on in your mind. You think, how did I miss that. We were talking about separate issues and not communicating.

To increase your negotiation skills, you must be constantly aware of when the negotiation is about to run into a state of despair. That means being alert to verbal cues displayed by your negotiation companion that indicates the two of you may not be on the same page.

It is so easy to fall prey to miscommunications by not understanding the components of what the negotiation entails. Worse, some negotiators will attempt to subvert the negotiation by feigning misunderstanding of the discussion. Suffice it to say, when in doubt, stop and work it out. No matter the challenge, understand the stakes of your negotiation.  

Meaning Assignment

What does that mean is a question I suggest you ask yourself when assigning the meaning to something. That something can be an offer for a concession or other request. If you are unaware of a request’s intent and attempt to provide a solution, you may be offering a solution to a problem that does not exist. Worse, you may be creating a problem with your response.

To increase your negotiation skills, and win more negotiations, understand how the other negotiator thinks. Also, know why she assigns meaning to her thoughts before attempting to address her concerns. If you find yourself jumping the gun without knowing the entire background of her intent, you may lose the ground that you have gained. And that would serve as a hindrance to your negotiation efforts.

SelfIntrest – Who’s Intrest Is Being Protected – What And Why

Another point to consider when thinking about increasing your negotiation skills is why the other negotiator adopts the position she maintains. In some situations, her actions may appear to be counterproductive to the talks. In reality, she may have a particular stance due to the demands of forces of which you are unaware.

When activities of a negotiator appear to be unreasonable or unexplainable, question what you do not know that may be the source of that person’s action. If need be, pose questions to your counterpart about your feelings that something is occurring behind the scenes impacting your interactions’ progress. Do not allow unknown situations to fester. Doing so could lead the negotiation into more tenuous situations.

Three Quick Negotiation Probing Techniques

Okay. You are not sure why someone has adopted a particular position or stance. How might you gain more insight stealthily?

1. Ask for clarification on points that matter and state that you are seeking greater clarity. If posed in a ‘help me’ perspective, you may receive a more significant amount of information.

2. Play dumb – say you are not sure of the negotiator’s intent. Be mindful of not being perceived as manipulative. That will detract from your efforts.

3. Misstate/misrepresent your understanding of the other negotiator’s point. To clarify your misunderstanding, the other negotiator will give an enlightened view of his meaning. And you will gain additional information in the process.


Every day, you seek to improve aspects of your life. And if you wish to win more negotiations, you will increase your negotiation skills. Once you do, you will have more negotiation wins. And everything will be right with the world.  

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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