Negotiation Tip of the Week
“A bully is someone seeking others to help him find his better self.” Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“Negotiation Strategies That Absolutely Stop A Bully”
How can you absolutely stop a bully during a negotiation? First, you have to ask yourself, what does he want? The answer will give you insight into his mindset, which will allow you to adopt strategies to combat him. From there, you can use the following strategies to stop a bully in your negotiations.
What a bully wants:
A bully wants recognition and positive attention. He wants to be recognized by others as possessing traits that enhance his image; that image serves to enhance his self-esteem. In a negotiation, you can play to his need by lavishing praise upon him. That may allow you to be invited into his good graces. It may also be the setup for more bullying. Know the probability of the outcome you seek and that will give you the insight into which strategy to employ.
Bully’s mindset:
A bully has to have others perceive him as being strong, impressive, and important. He’ll attempt to intimidate you to obtain that recognition. To alter his mindset during negotiations, use pattern interrupts (e.g. he makes a take-it-or-leave-it offer and you get up to leave without saying a word.) Doing so will confound him, which will cause him to rethink his strategy. If you can alter his mind, you can change the way the bully thinks. Do so by confounding him and you’ll deprive him of the tools he needs to promote his bullying efforts.
Strategies to stop a bully:
You should always confront a bully. Doing so will let him know that you’re aware of his tactics. It’ll also send a signal that you may retaliate. Depending on the bully’s perception of your strength, you can confront him openly or behind closed doors. Do so with a calm or aggressive demeanor. The choice you make is very important. If you confront him in front of others, he may do/say something that’s irrational; he doesn’t want to be embarrassed. If you believe confronting him in front of others is your best course of action, leave him with a way to save face. Some bullies love to ‘get even’ by doing things behind your back and you don’t want to be looking over your shoulder.
If you fight back against the bully do so with a force that he’ll perceive as being significantly greater than his power. A bully wants to pick on easy targets. Don’t make yourself easy.
What are the characteristics of a bully? They are of someone that wants to be respected, liked, and recognized. To deal with him either feed or starve the beast. The way you initially engage him will determine the interaction that occurs past that point. Thus, at the first sign of bullying, confront the aggressor. Doing so will put him on guard to the fact that he’s not going to have an easy time in his attempts to bully you … and everything will be right with the world.
What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
Remember, you’re always negotiating.