Caution without proper deliberation is nothing more than indecisiveness for lack of direction.
All seven of the members were in a state of confusion. They had differing opinions about what action to take, and they felt time running out. The leader of the group said, we have to proceed with caution. Then, he asked each individual, in private, to state how they arrived at their conclusion.
Finally, he reconvened the meeting. And he emphatically announced the action that the group would take. The power contained in his pronouncement left no ambiguity about his conviction to that action. Everyone looked at him in amazement. That was due to the respect they had for how he’d come to his decision. They viewed him as being more valuable and powerful than he’d been in the past.
What do you consider before making decisions? And, to what degree does caution play a role in your decision-making process? The following are ways you can improve the perception of your power and make yourself more valuable to others.
Caution Versus Haste:
Depending on the circumstances, making hasty decisions can be beneficial. You can say the same about being overly cautious when making decisions, too. But too much caution can cause an opportunity to dissolve before you have the chance to address it. While being hasty can vanish future opportunities that never materialize because of your current haste.
If you have to make impactful choices that will occur in the future, prepare for them sooner than later. Consult knowledge holders that can give sage advice. From that, adopt the most beneficial direction. Then, allow your thoughts to simmer into a more cohesive form of logic. That will dampen emotions from hijacking your thought process.
Seeking Advice – Setting The Stage:
When seeking advice, let those that offer an opinion know that you may not wholly agree with their assessment. And, inform them that their information will have an impact on the final decision. Doing that will make them feel valued.
By framing how you’ll use their input, you set expectations. And, when you set expectations, you shape the boundaries for what might occur. When you do that, it disallows others from legitimately stating they thought something else would happen.
People want you to listen to them – hear them. Let them speak.
They’ll perceive themselves as possessing power because they’ll think you thought enough to solicit their opinion. That’ll enhance the value they have of you.
Thus, by seeking their advice, you’ll increase their perspective of the value you have for them, which will bestow that power back to you. It becomes a completed circle. By making others feel good, they’ll feel good about being a source of value.
Caution – be mindful that people view environments based on their outlook. And that will shade how they see the world and the opinions they have. Those variables will impact their thoughts and suggestions.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
First, you have to have a firm understanding of the problem you’re addressing. That means not miscommunicating per how the other negotiator views the situation. As mentioned earlier, you should seek input from those that may add value to the final solution or outcome. When negotiating, that includes the other negotiator, too.
When seeking the process that led to his decisions, understand the mindset that developed those conclusions. If possible, discover his advisors and their mindset, too. Also, assess how you might play to their vanities if they exist. Everyone wants to feel valued. That leads them to believe their more powerful. As it serves your purpose, enhance their feeling by seeking their input. If getting what you want in the negotiation is essential to you, doing that will aid you in achieving a successful negotiation outcome … and everything will be right with the world.
He was the number one problem solver in his company. And he’d been working for days in solitude to find a solution to the latest challenge. Finally, after laboring in thoughts for hours without a break, he felt his thoughts circling. He said this is going nowhere. I’m like a dog chasing its tail. One of these thoughts will have to be good enough. I can’t do any better. With that, he stopped thinking. Good enough had prevented him from being amazing.
You can be confronted by several challenges that occur in the future when you stop at good. The biggest one is, you’ll never get better. And not getting better will prevent you from becoming amazing. Your mental state of mind will say, you’ve settled for mediocrity in the past, do it this time, too. That thought may not be an outward expression. But it will be the signal from your subconscious mind that will stop you from reaching your full potential and higher goals.
The following are three ways you can move past good and become amazing.
Know your peak times.
Everyone has different times in the day when they’re mentally more alert. Thoughts seem to flow through them like a flowing fountain. If you know when that time occurs for you, attempt to be your most creative during those times. To enhance your thinking process, eliminate all obstacles that might intrude on what might be your state of zen. By removing distractions, you’ll ensure that you stay in that state longer. And your creativity will be extended.
Be aware of when you’re under pressure or stress.
Most people don’t perform well under pressure. And the more it exists, the more likely you are to make mistakes. That can lead to stress. Then, you begin to fight a vicious cycle of tension, which leads to stress, which increases the pressure. When you experience the weight of undue burdens or anxiety, it’s time to stop. You won’t do yourself much good if you continue to burn your brain cells. All you’ll be doing is grinding your mind to a slow halt.
Don’t beat yourself up. That’ll only hamper your thinking process. Sometimes, amid frustration, you may begin to demean yourself. Don’t do it. Resist saying things like, I’m so stupid. I knew I was too dumb to do this. First, your subconscious hears what you think, even if you don’t say it out loud. And, your subconscious will attempt to create the reality that you state to be your belief. Thus, be cautious about what you say and what you think when you address a situation. If you believe you’re not good enough to conquer or complete a task, you’ll never get to the point of where amazing resides.
Know where help is and how to use it.
Get the thoughts of others to assist you with your thinking. When two people consider how to solve a problem, they create different ideas than if one was doing so. Thus, when you find yourself challenged by the absence of ideas, ask others to join you. Just make sure that you extend invitations to those that will add to your thoughts and not distract from them.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Some people negotiate as a team because they realize that there are more significant opportunities that might otherwise go unobtained. In so doing, they enhance the probability of an amazing outcome and not one that’s just good.
If you consider how you might turn a good negotiation into an amazing one before you enter into it, that singular act will put you on the road to an incredible outcome. From there, you can enhance the process. Just incorporate what I mentioned in steps 1, 2, and 3 … and everything will be right with the world.
He had a crucial meeting at 9 a.m. the following day. It was with his company’s largest client. Many months had gone into the preparation of what would be the biggest deal the company had ever had. And everyone was counting on him to land that big deal.
So why do you think he allowed his so-called friends to talk him into going out the night before the big meeting? He knew what was at stake the next morning. They asked him to have just one drink. One drink turned into two, and two turned into nine. Finally, being inebriated, he said to his friends, I must go. I must be ready for that big meeting tomorrow. By the time he got home and went to sleep, it was 2:47 a.m. When he awoke, it was 11:09 a.m. He missed the meeting. He also lost what had up until then been a good career – because he got fired!
Has anything like that ever happened to you? Your so-called friends, instead of supporting you, distracted you from a goal. Maybe it wasn’t to the degree of what occurred in the story. In that case, the decision to go out the night before the big meeting wasn’t just a wrong decision – it was stupid! More than likely, you’ve made stupid decisions too. So why do you allow that to happen? There are several reasons. The following are some of them and how to protect yourself from falling prey.
Friends Versus Associates:
Be careful with whom you surround yourself. And don’t associate with people that work against your goals. Understand the value of real friends. They help protect you from harm. And they support your ambitions.
Associates, on the other hand, are people that may be close to you – but they’re usually individuals that care more about their self-interest than yours. They may not share your goals or outlook that you possess.
Here’s the catch, friends can lead you into bad decisions. If they do so once, you may consider forgiving them. If they do so frequently, move them out of the friend category. And ultimately you might consider moving them out of your life.
Whatever label you assign to those that are friends versus associates, be mindful of who you let into the friend category. Those individuals will have a more significant impact on your life.
Strong And Discipline:
There is a strength of mind and a mind that’s disciplined. You more than likely possess either depending on what you’re contemplating. But when confronted with decisions of significance, you need to combine those two forces.
When you know you have a lot riding on the outcome of a decision, consider the consequences of not being able to perform at your best. If that doesn’t prove to be substantial enough leverage, think what you might lose. Most people have a greater fear of loss than they do for the power of additional gain.
To ascend to higher heights, you must possess an attitude that states, no one will stop you. Then, commit to yourself to stop making stupid decisions. Once fortified by that belief, you’ll become empowered. That’s when you’ll possess the ability to achieve more consistently. That’ll also be the time when you stop making stupid bad decisions … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. It may be due to erroneous information, fear of not wanting to confront a situation boldly, or misperceiving the severity of it. Regardless of the reason, when you know you can avoid turning a bad mistake into a stupid one, don’t turn it into one.
In a negotiation, the more time you spend in it, the higher the chance to make bad decisions. Most negotiators want to see a bargaining session to its conclusion. That leaves them vulnerable to turning a wrong decision into a stupid one.
First, be alert to how you’re making decisions when you negotiate. If you feel pressure leading the choices you make, view that as a warning signal. It’ll be the alarm that alerts you to the possible doorway opening that leads to worse decisions.
“What Stops You The Most From Being Amazingly Successful”
Are there times when you feel you’re at the gate of success only to find that it’s locked? And you don’t have the key. You believe you’re so close and still so far away. Even worse, do you become frustrated or dissatisfied because you don’t perceive any success at all? Does that cause dismay, despair, or even depression in you?
If so, don’t disband your dissatisfaction factor. There’s nothing wrong with those emotions. If you never have such sensations, you’ll never be as successful as you could become. The reason is, you’d be settling for mediocrity. You would not be demanding more from yourself. You’d be breathing, but you wouldn’t be alive. You’d be a member of the walking dead waiting for your burial time.
Thus, those feelings of dismay, despair, or depression are self-signals summoning you to dig deeper within yourself to find the drive that’ll take you higher. Listen to that desire. It’s your hidden source of motivation that will spur you to greater heights.
As we go through life, we prepare for what we wish to become – obtain – possess. The more preparation we put into such endeavors, the sooner we expect to receive rewards for our efforts. When they don’t occur according to our timeframe, we become burdened with anxieties. And that can begin the downward spiral of the opposite goal we seek.
Stop the madness! Allowing yourself to become mentally disabled, due to your perception of slow progress, doesn’t enhance your growth. It only slows an otherwise quicker pace at which you could advance. And that’s a dilemma you don’t need. In essence, you won’t improve faster because you’ll be preventing yourself from doing so.
So why do we allow ourselves to fall prey to the traps that lead to immobility? We work hard and do what’s expected to advance. And instead of having a wealth of advancement rushing to take us onto new heights, we appear disabled by the painstaking drip of slow or no perceived progress.
When besieged by the thought of slow or no progress in your life, take time to rest mentally. You may be in a state of mental overload. That state will not allow you to see the preverbal forest for the trees. Clear your mental clutter. Think about the time when you were most successful. Consider what you did to get to that point. There’ll be lessons embedded in that reflection. Thus, you can replicate what you did to become successful in the past. You may have to alter some of those past steps. But there’ll be footprints that can lead you back to a successful path. Success always leaves footprints.
You can continue doing what you’re doing, and you’ll continue receiving the same outcomes that you’ve been receiving. Or, you can commit to alter your thinking and begin to become more successful. Either way, the choice is yours. Choose wisely … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Sometimes you can have the best plans entering into a negotiation and quickly discover that you have to abandon them. That can be due to any set of variables. You misplanned due to your misperception of what was most at stake. You misunderstood the intent of the other negotiator. Or, you became sidetracked by an act of God that you had no control over. Regardless of the reason, if you allow yourself to become frustrated, you’ll begin to lose your mental composure. And when that occurs, you’ve started to lose the negotiation.
In a negotiation, focus on your goals. Instead of becoming frustrated, become fortified. Do so by allowing yourself the mental time and space to reflect on your next actions. It’s better to call a time out than to be placed in a position of being out of time and making a bad deal. If you never act out of haste, you’ll be less likely to make hasty actions. Never forget that hasty actions can cause you to be less successful.
“The first thought I had was, am I going to die?” Those were the words a lady recounted to her friend. She was referring to a scary situation she feared would become a #crisis. It happened when she was at a bank and two men walked in. They hollered, “this is a stick-up!”
Hopefully, you’ve never had such an experience. But if one were to occur, what would you do? I know that depends on the specific situation and circumstances. But what do you think your initial thoughts might be? If you’re considering that, you’re doing what you should do to confront a potential crisis – prepare for it ahead of time.
This article will help you think about how to prepare for such occurrences if one should befall you.
When you’re threatened, your body goes into a fight or flight response. During that time, you make snap judgments about the action you’ll take. Upon hindsight, those actions may not be rational.
In a potential crisis, to limit irrational actions consider how you might act/react before entering them. You might note exit doors, hiding places, and resources that can aid you. Some of the resources might be other people that share your plight. Be strategic in your thoughts and planning.
The more prepared you are for a crisis, the better your response will be. And that could turn out to be a lifesaver.
Fight, Flight, Freeze:
When you’re threatened, you begin an evaluation process to assess the threat and the best course of action to take. The problem is, the clock doesn’t stop ticking during that time. You can’t call a timeout. And the situation could escalate during your deliberations.
Most people are aware of the fight or flight response. It occurs when we become fearful. But there’s another possible response to consider. It’s called the freeze response. It’s somewhat like the ‘shelter in place’ command. During that time, you limit your movement. That’s an attempt to lessen attention to yourself. It’ll limit your possible exposure and harm. Note the differences between the ‘shelter in place’ and freeze response. In the latter, you make no movement at all.
Never overlook the potential usage of the freeze response. It’s another tool that could be your lifesaver. Plan for the possibility of its use. If you know through calculations when it might be most applicable, you’ll be more flexible in the actions you adopt … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Very seldom does a negotiation escape some form of crisis. They may be small or large depending on what’s at stake. But nevertheless, if they create trauma for you or the other negotiator, you’ll seek a plausible solution to them. Thus, during your planning stage of the negotiation, consider the actions you’ll adopt to confront troublesome situations. You should also consider what might cause them to escalate and how you’ll defuse them.
A crisis in a negotiation usually evolves over time – it doesn’t happen suddenly. Therefore, you can see it coming. When you sense a crisis is gathering strength, address it with a prepared action. That action might consist of the fight, flight, or freeze response. That means you’d dig in your heels (fight), choose to end the negotiation – or call a timeout (flight or freeze), or do nothing (freeze). You’d adopt a ‘freeze state’ to see what the other negotiator might do from that point.
In any negotiation, the options you adopt to address situations determine the flow and outcome of the negotiation. A crisis is the greatest threat to a successful negotiation outcome. It can derail a negotiation. Thus, the better prepared you are to address it, the greater control you’ll have over and during the negotiation.
“How To Display Massive Confidence By Your Body Language“
Your body speaks. It does so through the body language you display to others. Through that, they assess the degree of confidence you possess.
He walked painfully slow and hunched over – people gaped at him as soon as he entered the room. His pace suggested that he wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere fast. When he spoke, he did so in a low tone that caused others to lean in to hear what he was saying. After he departed, one individual in the room to whom he was attempting to sell his company’s latest product said, “and that’s the sale’s rep they sent to represent their company – they must be having serious problems.”
I’m willing to bet that you didn’t think our slow-walking, slow-talking person was a sales rep. You most likely have an image of salespeople being full of vigor. When your body language doesn’t match expectations, your intent can become misperceived. Worse, others might assume you lack confidence.
The following are ways that you can convey more confidence in the way you use your body language.
When you feel threatened, your body contracts. That’s the body’s way of making itself a smaller target. Thus, when you walk hunched over, you’re signaling that you feel unsafe.
To project more confidence, walk erect. Hold your head high and your shoulders back. That’ll signal fearlessness. You’ll become perceived as possessing more physical and mental strength. At that moment, others will be less likely to challenge you and more open to listening to you.
Through their pace, fast walking people indicate that they have someplace to be. They’re on the move. Their gesture suggests that they possess energy – energy is something others sense. It’s something that attracts attention.
When walking into a room, walk at a quickened pace – you’ll command attention. Movement attracts our eye. The faster that movement, the more riveting our attention will become to that motion.
The receiver of a handshake makes assumptions about its deliverer. That’s due to the nonverbal information dispatched through handshakes. With a weak handshake, the receiver might assume the deliverer is weak of will. He might also assume that he can manhandle the deliverer.
When shaking hands, consider the message you’re sending. Based on the nonverbal message you wish to transmit, consider shaking someone’s hand based on the firmness of their handshake.
When people meet for the first time, a handshake will usually last for three up-and-down movements. If it’s longer, that may suggest that there’s a powerplay at hand. That means, the person holding the other person’s hand the longest is attempting to exude control. Most likely, he’ll attempt to maintain that control throughout the engagement.
An unintended weak voice suggests that the speaker lacks commitment or possesses insecurities. Whenever you wish to sound convincing, use a louder and stronger voice. Raise it a few octaves above your normal speaking voice. That’ll be enough to convey commitment about what you’re saying. You can also add a deeper tone on words you wish to emphasize. That will give those words more meaning. It’ll also enhance the perception of your gravitas.
Smiles and Frowns:
A smile displayed at the appropriate time adds additional meaning to your words. It can turn a sarcastic remark into one of puzzlement (i.e. what did she mean by that). A smile can also deepen a relationship through the warmth of conveyance.
A frown can be very potent. If you wish to display dissatisfaction with someone’s words, let a frown represent your thoughts. By not using words, that person will wonder to what degree you’re dissatisfied with his pronouncements. If he’s not astute, he’ll begin giving you unexpected information.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Knowing how to read and use body language will give you an advantage in a negotiation. Being able to read and use body language accurately will extend that advantage … and everything will be right with the world.
“Danger: Are You Being Easily Stopped By Your Thoughts”
He looked around and had a sense of foreboding. He wasn’t sure why the feeling existed nor its source. But he felt the grip of danger – as he became paralyzed by immobility. Suddenly, the alarm clock sounded. It was then that he realized he was having a bad dream – or was he? He wondered what the thoughts of his dream meant.
Thoughts can move you to action – they can also stop you. How then might you know when to act and when to allow inactivity to be supreme? This article gives you insights about that. It highlights when to stop and when to move forward on your thoughts.
Perception of Thoughts:
Some thoughts are more profound than others – they secrete an inner sense of urgency. You may not be able to identify why you have a sensation, but don’t ignore it. More than likely, you’re sensing some form of motivation that’s beckoning your attention. Attempt to hone the source of those signals. Once identified, the hidden message may reveal itself. If you can’t identify it, let it rest – if it subsides and doesn’t return, it may lack importance – if it resurrects itself, there may be more substance to it. Once again, seek to understand its summoning trigger – this time give it more credence in your attempt to identify its meaning. There’s a reason it’s calling you – identify it.
“I knew that was going to happen. I had a sense of Déjà vu.” Have you had such sensations – whereby you felt like you were reliving an experience that you were encountering for the first time? If so, that was most likely your intuition motioning to you.
When you’re unaware of a sensational experience, it may reside at a subconscious level – it doesn’t register within your state of consciousness. Nevertheless, when such emotional signals reach for your attention, take note – like motion, your attention seeks to assess potential danger – your body wants to be in a state of comfort.
Once you make an assessment and determine that you’re in a safe space, resume your normal activities. Do so only if your actions are moving towards your goals. If they’re not, question why your thoughts were drawn to what you’re contemplating – was there a message that you overlooked? Before dismissing the thought, make sure you’re not dismissing a call to action. If you identify that call, you will have identified the intent of your intuition.
You can also gain insight from your past actions – they should be based on your prior emotional queues. Just remember that previous circumstances may not lead to the same outcomes in the future. In observing your past action history, note similarities in your previous thought process and how they might align with your present thoughts. The real purpose of assessing your action history is to have it assist in raising your dominant thought to prominence. They’ll be points as to which direction to take in your assessment.
In every aspect of your life, your thoughts are what leads you upon one path versus another. As you learn to control your thoughts, you’ll discover new ways to put yourself on a better path … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
In a negotiation, your thought process causes you to conflate past occurrences with present situations. Thus, based on the outcome sought in the current negotiation, your assessment will cause you to adopt one action versus another. Therefore, by quickly making an assessment about the danger or lack of in a situation, you become more adaptable in the negotiation. And that will give you an edge in every negotiation you’re in.
“Are You Cruel When You Weaponize Time In Your Negotiation“
For the last three months, the two teams negotiated fiercely against each other – they were vicious – they lost the pretense of civility after the first month. At times, flared tempers had driven them to cruelty. Then, out of frustration or despair, the lead negotiator of one team said to his counterpart, in an extremely cruel tone, either you accept our offer within the next three days or we’ll leave this negotiation and never return! With that edict, time was weaponized. He’d unleashed a ticking time bomb that would blow the negotiation up unless someone defused the situation. And, the way he made his pronouncement left him no wiggle room to save face.
How do you use time to advance your negotiation position – it’s one of the most precious commodities a negotiator has. The following thoughts are ideas about how you can use time to enhance your efforts.
Some negotiators attempt to use time to create a sense of urgency (e.g. sale ends tomorrow, get it now – I only have ‘x’ amount of time to conclude this deal). In those situations, its use is an attempt to force the opposing negotiator to take immediate specific actions. The challenge is, what to do if the action sought doesn’t occur by the stated deadline – you’re left in a weakened position if you must present a lame excuse for why the deal is still available. Unless you’re ready to confront the consequences, don’t make hard-time declarations like the leader of team one.
When you use time deadlines to create a sense of urgency, leave yourself wiggle room to escape if your demands go unmet. To do that, instead of stating a hard deadline (e.g. the sale ends tomorrow) state a softer one (e.g. the sale is ending soon). The sense of urgency is not as great in the second situation – but you’re less likely to back yourself into a corner.
Overcoming Imposed Deadlines:
Deadlines can lead a negotiation to a slow death. Thus, you must be careful when they’re issued. When confronted by a time deadline –
Watch your time – Be mindful of the time you invest in the negotiation. Psychologically, the more time you spend negotiating, the more likely you’ll be to stay engaged. That can make you more susceptible to falling prey to time constraints. If you don’t think the negotiation has redemption, exit it. And do that sooner versus later.
Control emotions – When negotiating, the more you control your emotions, the more control you’ll have of the negotiation. Time is a factor that weighs on a negotiator’s mind. Thus, to combat it, control its perspective and the emotional stress it places on you. Never let time go unobserved – that’s a factor of control.
Have a backup – You can relieve pressure when you have alternative options – having them can be the release valve to the pressure of time. If you have alternative options and you suspect the other negotiator may be weaponizing time, don’t expose your backup plans (e.g. if I can’t get it from you, I can get it from the other dealer – and it may be less) – Doing that may momentarily stun the other negotiator but you will have also given him another point to attack you (i.e. finding out how viable your backup might be). If need be, let his deadline pass and see what he does. He’ll expose his strategy by disclosing how sincere the deadline was.
In every negotiation, negotiators seek actions to control their counterpart – weaponizing time is one of those actions. To be more successful in your negotiations, be observant of time, know what to do when you’re confronted by time deadlines, and be cautious when issuing them. Time is a negotiator’s precious commodity, use it wisely … and everything will be right with the world.
“How Forgiving Is Your Mind – This Is What Matters”
How long do you allow negativity to grip you in the jaws of despair – hold you mind hostage to situations that make you cling to slights that others thrust upon you? If you hold negative thoughts for an extended time, it might be to your detriment?
Anytime you allow lingering negative thoughts to affect your mood, your mannerisms, or your actions, you allow others to control you. Thus, at times, you must exercise forgiveness to release such anxieties – at other times, you must take aggressive actions.
The following are thoughts to help you assess when to engage in forgiveness and when not to.
Let it go:
Everything that’s perceived as being negative, isn’t. Thus, you must assess what is real versus perceived negativity – that perception will, in part, be based on your current state of mind. That’s why it’s important to mend your mind by not allowing too much of the past to cloud your current judgment – it matters to your wellbeing.
Release thoughts that debilitate your mind (e.g. they’ll never let me move into a higher position – they don’t like people like me – I remember the outcome the last time something like this occurred). Some thoughts don’t serve you. Even if such things bring past indiscretions to mind, don’t conflate them with your current situation – that was then and this is now.
By separating the past and present, you insulate your current thoughts from the past – that disallows your past thoughts from afflicting your current thinking. It also frees you to release thoughts that don’t serve you and replace them with those that are more uplifting. In turn, that will take you to a higher mental sanctuary, which will allow you to have a more positive perspective.
When not to let it go:
If someone or something is preventing you from achieving your desired goal, challenge them! Fear not for fear’s sake. If you subscribe to attaining an objective, you must do what’s necessary to advance forward. To the degree that it’s important, when others block your path out of spite or unrighteousness, don’t be forgiving – be persistent in moving them aside. There is a time for forgiveness – this is not it!
When it comes to your success and security if you let threats go unabated, you’ll only be postponing future dread. By not addressing situations that outright pose potential harm, you emboldened the source of that threat. If left unaddressed, it may swell to become the cause of your demise.
When something was too threatening, something that caused you to summon more courage, you did so. In so doing you realized, without struggle, you had no advancement. Don’t stop now when confronted by a daunting roadblock – that’s nothing more than a test to encourage you to display more courage – move on, go higher!
By controlling your mind, you control your thoughts, which allows you to control your actions. Control will keep you in a better mental place. You’re the master-of-your-fate. Knowing when to forgive and when not to will help you maintain that domain … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
During a negotiation, you can become overwhelmed by emotions – emotions that lead to thoughts of retribution. Unless there’s a sincere need for such, don’t let negative thoughts lead to emotions that cloud your judgment. They’ll saddle you with unneeded consternation as you go deeper into the negotiation.
Being able to forgive perceived slights can be a gift in a negotiation – it can free your mind to think more freely. Knowing when to move against such slights can also be beneficial. Thus, knowing when to adopt the right action is paramount. Therefore, when weighing a conflicting negative thought that might debilitate your mind ask yourself, does this matter? If it doesn’t, be forgiving – let it go.
He was pompous, screamed at others while demeaning them, and not well-liked – most of his associates detested him! Some wondered if that was why he’d been stuck in the same management position for over a decade. Plus, he was not a good negotiator – he lacked insight on how to use power. He used bullying tactics with his subordinates (i.e. you’d better do this or else), and veiled threats to delude his peers to get what he wanted. Everyone collectively swore they’d get even with him. And one day they did.
Do you know how to be a powerful negotiator?
Sources of Power and How To Use It:
Voice inflection – There’s power, or lack of, in the way you speak. You can make a statement that sounds like a question or a question that sounds like a statement simply by the inflection in your voice. To sound more powerfully, apply a deeper tone to your voice when emphasizing words of greater importance. This is especially true when negotiating. A deeper tone on, that’s my best price, conveys more conviction to your statement.
Positioning – Whether it’s your physical proximity to others or the proximity of your words, what proceeds your words impacts their perception. Therefore, be mindful of when you speak. If you speak after someone has delivered a rousing proposal, your words may be received with less enthusiasm. The same is true of your physical proximity to others. If you’re physically close to someone with power, your words will carry greater weight simply because of that proximity. Others will assume that there’s a sense of power bestowed upon you from the power person in the environment.
When negotiating, consider the order of your offers and their alignment with people of power. You can also make a prior offer appear to be better by downgrading the one that follows it – in that case, your message states that the trajectory of the offers to follow will become progressively worse.
Manipulation – A negotiator can gain momentary power through manipulation (for this purpose, the word manipulation is neutral – it’s not good or bad). One can use it to feed the other negotiator’s desires by embellishing the item he seeks from you. By doing that, you heighten his sense to acquire it.
To embellish an item, highlight how the other negotiator will feel, and/or appear to others once he’s acquired it. Take note of his body language as you make your summation. If he slips into a dream-like state while smiling and becoming dreamy-eyed, he’s also imagining the great sensation he’ll experience once he’s acquired your offer – you got him! Continue down that path and extract whatever he’s willing to forgo to acquire the offer. Be careful not to turn embellishment into a lie. That might come back to haunt you.
Likeability – Never underestimate the hidden value of likeability. It’s a factor that has swayed many negotiators. I’ve seen lower offers accepted because of it. It’s easy to be likable with most people – just be pleasant. Warning – with some bully types, you’ll have to meet power with power. Thus, the likeability factor may be a detriment. Instead, seek to become respected – respect will be the source that cedes greater power to you.
You’re always negotiating:
In the situation with the manager, mentioned at the beginning of this article, others did exact their toll on him. It occurred when subordinates and his peers combined forces – they informed senior management that they’d no longer work with him. The manager didn’t realize that he’d been negotiating with those folks during his tenure with the company. He used his power recklessly. And now their power was coming to bear against him – senior management fired him.
I love to observe people with power. To be specific, I note how they use it, to whom they extend it, and how they’re altered by it. It’s said that power doesn’t change you – it amplifies who you really are. To that point, always keep in mind, the way you treat people impacts their perception of you. Thus, if they perceive you as an ogre, they’ll be less inclined to assist you in achieving your goals. Therefore, use the sources of power as partners in your negotiations – they’ll increase the perception of you being a powerful person. That will lead to more powerful negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.