“How To Display Massive Confidence By Your Body Language“
Your body speaks. It does so through the body language you display to others. Through that, they assess the degree of confidence you possess.
He walked painfully slow and hunched over – people gaped at him as soon as he entered the room. His pace suggested that he wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere fast. When he spoke, he did so in a low tone that caused others to lean in to hear what he was saying. After he departed, one individual in the room to whom he was attempting to sell his company’s latest product said, “and that’s the sale’s rep they sent to represent their company – they must be having serious problems.”
I’m willing to bet that you didn’t think our slow-walking, slow-talking person was a sales rep. You most likely have an image of salespeople being full of vigor. When your body language doesn’t match expectations, your intent can become misperceived. Worse, others might assume you lack confidence.
The following are ways that you can convey more confidence in the way you use your body language.
When you feel threatened, your body contracts. That’s the body’s way of making itself a smaller target. Thus, when you walk hunched over, you’re signaling that you feel unsafe.
To project more confidence, walk erect. Hold your head high and your shoulders back. That’ll signal fearlessness. You’ll become perceived as possessing more physical and mental strength. At that moment, others will be less likely to challenge you and more open to listening to you.
Through their pace, fast walking people indicate that they have someplace to be. They’re on the move. Their gesture suggests that they possess energy – energy is something others sense. It’s something that attracts attention.
When walking into a room, walk at a quickened pace – you’ll command attention. Movement attracts our eye. The faster that movement, the more riveting our attention will become to that motion.
The receiver of a handshake makes assumptions about its deliverer. That’s due to the nonverbal information dispatched through handshakes. With a weak handshake, the receiver might assume the deliverer is weak of will. He might also assume that he can manhandle the deliverer.
When shaking hands, consider the message you’re sending. Based on the nonverbal message you wish to transmit, consider shaking someone’s hand based on the firmness of their handshake.
When people meet for the first time, a handshake will usually last for three up-and-down movements. If it’s longer, that may suggest that there’s a powerplay at hand. That means, the person holding the other person’s hand the longest is attempting to exude control. Most likely, he’ll attempt to maintain that control throughout the engagement.
An unintended weak voice suggests that the speaker lacks commitment or possesses insecurities. Whenever you wish to sound convincing, use a louder and stronger voice. Raise it a few octaves above your normal speaking voice. That’ll be enough to convey commitment about what you’re saying. You can also add a deeper tone on words you wish to emphasize. That will give those words more meaning. It’ll also enhance the perception of your gravitas.
Smiles and Frowns:
A smile displayed at the appropriate time adds additional meaning to your words. It can turn a sarcastic remark into one of puzzlement (i.e. what did she mean by that). A smile can also deepen a relationship through the warmth of conveyance.
A frown can be very potent. If you wish to display dissatisfaction with someone’s words, let a frown represent your thoughts. By not using words, that person will wonder to what degree you’re dissatisfied with his pronouncements. If he’s not astute, he’ll begin giving you unexpected information.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Knowing how to read and use body language will give you an advantage in a negotiation. Being able to read and use body language accurately will extend that advantage … and everything will be right with the world.
Listen to this interview and you’ll discover inside tips about how you can negotiate and read body language better; you’ll gain insights that will allow you to achieve greater outcomes from every negotiation you’re in.
Tom Antion, entrepreneur, and multi-millionaire is the person that’s interviewing me. He’s a very down to earth and funny person!
You’ll hear a few secrets that my mother taught me about negotiations when I was a very young boy and a whole lot more.
Unlike my TV interviews, this interview is funny, light, and chocked full of negotiation and reading body language insights.
Here’s to the enhancement of your negotiation and body language enlightenment 😊 …
“Always pay attention to body language. It’s the secret purveyor of hidden thoughts.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“How To Win More negotiations – Understand The Shoulder Shrug”
Shrugging shoulders – The question was asked of him, “why should we lower our price?” He shrugged his shoulders, took a moment to reflect on the question, and then offered several reasons why the price should be reduced. Little did he know, his shoulder shrug exposed the fact that initially, he didn’t have an answer to the question. Others picked that up and he lost credibility.
When negotiating, you should possess a heightened sense of awareness about the signals you send via your body language. You should also have a heightened sense of awareness of the other negotiator’s body language. That’s because body language displays true feelings. While some very good negotiators know how to convey false emotions through their body language, through their attempt to convey such emotions, their body tries to compensate for the inequity the body is experiencing. The shrugging of the shoulders is one form of display that the body conveys such sentiments.
What shoulder shrugging indicates:
The shrugging of the shoulders during a negotiation can imply different meanings depending on what occurred earlier in the negotiation, the level of intensity of what’s currently being discussed, and the mental frailty of the negotiator displaying the gesture. It can mean:
What else do you want from me?
I don’t really know the answer to that?
I don’t care?
I feel threatened!
I’m thinking but I don’t know what to say.
I’m experiencing some form of pressure.
I disagree with you.
I have disdain for what’s being discussed.
I despise you.
To more accurately note the intent of the meaning, observe what occurred prior to the shoulder shrugging gesture. Also, note the length of time the shoulders stay in that position; that will allow you a glimpse into the degree the expression is being internalized. You can also gain additional insight into its meaning by noting other body language gestures that accompany the shrug(s). As an example:
Mouth agape with head leaning forward is more of a display of not backing down. While head leaning back can indicate a reluctance to pursue the point being discussed much further.
Ponding of the fist indicates defensiveness with the possibility of becoming aggressive.
Sighing while displaying the shoulder shrug is a sign of exasperation. The level of exasperation is amplified when hands are extended in a palms-up or palms-down gesture.
When reading body language, you need to remember that the body always seeks to be in a state of comfort. When that state is violated the body displays its lack of comfort in an attempt to retrieve the state of comfort that it seeks. It’s during the times when the body is displaying such gestures that you need to be very attentive. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of what’s occurring in the other negotiator’s mind by doing so. Depending on your negotiation strategy, you can allow the opposing negotiator to emotionally flutter in discomfort or throw him a lifeline to assuage his discomfort.
In your future negotiations, if you become more aware of body language signals and the shoulder shrug in particular, you’ll be able to negotiate from a stronger position … and everything will be right with the world.
“A person’s body language displays gestures that conceal hidden thoughts. The ability to read body language allows one to see those hidden thoughts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“Guaranteed Body Language Secrets
That Will Win More Negotiations”
When negotiating, do you consider the impact that body language secrets have on the negotiation? Body language secrets are like silent whispers shaping the flow of the negotiation. Studies have indicated that up to 85% of one’s communication is conveyed via body language. That means a lot of your communications occurs through your body language, not just your words.
To discover how you can win more negotiations, observe the following body language gestures in your negotiations.
Sense of awareness:
When negotiating, raise your sense of awareness about the gestures made during the negotiation. Such observation will give you a sense of direction for the negotiation. Make sure you pay close attention to signs that are missing that should have been made (e.g. a negotiator that states he can’t accept your deal while appearing to be a bit too happy). If anything appears to differ between someone’s words and their body gestures, lend more credence to their body gestures. Those gestures will be more reflective of the person’s real sentiments.
What to observe:
A few body language signals to observe are:
Hand gestures: Take note to whether the hands are open or closed when discussing offers. If the topic is about receiving or giving something and hands are open, there’s more mental favorability associated with the topic than if the hands are closed. Closed hands are a sign indicating doubt about the benefit(s) of what one’s saying or hearing.
Corner of lip turned upwards – This gesture is conveying contempt for what’s being discussed. The gesture may last for less than a second, which is why it’s important to watch for it.
Smiles – A smile can be used as a tool to disarm you in an attempt to make you feel better about the negotiation. A genuine smile is one displayed by both corners of the lips turned upward, a heightening of the cheekbone areas, and a glistening in the eyes. If any of those components are missing, the smile may lack the full conviction that the words are intended to convey.
Feet – Even if you’re seated, find a way to note the feet positioning of the other negotiator. The more aligned his feet are with yours, the more he’s engaged with you in the negotiation. Take note when his feet are no longer aligned with yours; that’s a sign of lower interest in what’s being discussed.
Voice pitch and tonality: When a negotiator attempts to make a subject matter lighter, he will usually do so with an airier tone to his voice. Compare that to a deeper tonality to convey more seriousness about the subject matter being discussed. Thus, even the way someone says something (i.e. pitch, tone) alters the perception of those words. Always be mindful of that.
Clearing of throat: If you observe a negotiator continuously clearing his throat, drinking what’s an obsessive amount of water for the situation, and/or swallowing more than normal, he’s indicating nervousness. The nervousness could stem from the degree he wants to offer, the deal, etc. To assess why he’s performing this gesture take note when it occurs and when it’s absent. That will give you the needed insight to determine the degree of pressure to apply during the negotiation.
In your very next negotiation, observe and utilize the insights above. By doing so you’ll drastically increase the guarantee of enhancing your negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.
Your body’s mind is shown in your body language. Mind your body language to enhance your mind and your language. – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“Her Body Said No And She Lost The Deal Quickly”
She sat outside the office where the meeting was to occur, contemplating what she was going to say. She felt pressure because she knew this deal could be the break that got her business up and running or the source that would cause her business aspirations to become broken. As she practiced what she’d say to the venture capitalists that she would meet shortly, consternation showed on her face. She tried to relax but the more she attempted to do so the more stressed she felt. Then she heard her name called and like a hovercraft barely touching the water, she felt her feet moving barely touching the floor.
When she sat before the venture capitalists she stammered as her bumbled words fell incoherently from her mouth. She sat back when she should have set forward, crossed her arms when attempting to display openness, and pressed her palms downward when she spoke about the possible growth of her business. After 9 minutes, one venture capitalist excused himself from the meeting muttering as he departed, “her body said no and because of that, she lost the deal.”
The following are a few body language signals to be aware of.
Be mindful as to when you lean away or towards someone. The gesture indicates to what degree you’re in agreement with what they’re saying or how you think they’re perceiving your message. Thus, your gesture will impact the person with whom you’re negotiating, even if it’s on a subconscious level.
The best way to use this gesture is to sit back when an offer has been extended that doesn’t please you; you can also sit back in degrees (e.g. learning further back the more you’re displeased or further forward when being pleased). You should also be mindful of not leaning back when being challenged unless you want to send the intentional signal of allowing someone to invade your space. If that’s your intent be aware to what degree the other negotiator takes advantage of that opening.
Your body always seeks a state of comfort. When it’s out of that state, you commit gestures to soothe yourself. Such gestures as rubbing your hands, palms, or thighs is an attempt to put yourself into a more peaceful state. That said, take note when you or the other negotiator accelerates the rubbing of hands. That’s a sign of anticipation. Depending on what’s being discussed, if such a signal is displayed by the other negotiator he’s internalizing the value of obtaining what you’ve offered or preparing for battle. Noticing the timing of his actions is an indication of the power you have at that moment.
Tone and Pace of Speech:
You should always be aware when someone quickens or reduces their pace of speech and their tonality. The answer to why they became altered will lie in what was said that caused them to do so. Since the body strives to stay in a state of comfort, the more someone speaks at an accelerated pace the more they’re displaying their sense of urgency or excitement. The exact opposite is the case when they slow their pace. At that time, they’re in more of a reflective or thinking mode. As an aside, good negotiators may use this as a tactic to give the appearance of being reflective while really stalling for time.
Your body language impacts your persona and your persona influences those with whom you negotiate. Studies have indicated that up to 87% of communications is conveyed through body language. So, be mindful of the signals your body emits.
Suffice it to say, the better you are at reading body language the better you’ll be at communications and negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.
“A well-placed question can put you on the road to success. A well-placed question posed at the appropriate time can make success your servant.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
What thought do you give to the questions you’ll ask during a negotiation? Do you consider how you’ll deliver the questions and the impact that will have on how the question is perceived? Good questions, posed at the appropriate time in a negotiation, can be the teller that determines if a negotiation will be successful or a dud.
You can definitely win more negotiations by posing the following informational gathering and insightful questions.
Why would I do that? (The response gives you insight into the other negotiator’s thoughts as to why the point/deal offering should be perceived as beneficial to you. You can use the point against him by asking if he’d accept it. If there’s equity in it, that will also give you insight into where he is mentally and physically (i.e. starting to possibly tire of the negotiation or revving up).
What would you ask to get more information? (Gather insight, and possibly new ideas, about what else can be done to overcome an impasse and/or advance the negotiation)
How can we make this a win/win outcome? (This gives you insight per what he perceives to be a winning outcome for both of you and allows you to glimpse the direction he’d like to see the negotiation take.)
What part of the story/offer needs to be clearer? (Seeking his specific perspective and understanding of what’s been discussed that my need clarification)
Where does your keen interest lie? (This question can be used when you’re being questioned and want to take control of the negotiation – the person asking the questions is the person in control of the negotiation.)
What deal would you want me to offer you that I would accept? (This is a very powerful question because it calls into play the sense of fairness. The response will also give you a sense of how fair the other negotiator is, or is willing to appear.)
To add power to the delivery of your question(s), display the appropriate effect to make it more impactful (i.e. wincing, speaking faster/slower, learning forward/backward, etc.) Such nonverbal cues will add more meaning to your words. Also, when posing such questions, if the opposing negotiator is slow to respond, wait! That could mean he’s going deeper into thought mode. If you sense he’s having an ‘aha moment’, dig deeper. Ask him what thoughts came from your question, or what thought(s) he just had. Sensing such nonverbal gestures is where reading body language enhances your negotiation efforts. The point is, when an ‘aha moment’ occurs take note of the body language emitted at that time. As additional insight, leaning away can imply moving away from the question to give it deeper thought, while leaning forward can give insight that he’s ready to address the question head-on. In any case, note what the body language was prior to the question (i.e. relaxed, stern, contemplating, etc.), and what became of it after his response.
While some questions can be used to obfuscate the opposing negotiator, be careful when doing so. There are times when the appearance of your superiority is appropriate and other times when such will appear to be ‘speaking down to someone’. Know the difference, based on the circumstances at that time, when it’s appropriate to use questions that position you in one stance versus another. The point is, make sure such position serves you … and everything will be right with the world.
“Winners have systems. To win more negotiations, you must have a winning system!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
Do you want to win more negotiations but you’re unsure of how to do so? Negotiations can be difficult if you’re unsure what to do and when to do it. If you employ the following proven ways to easily win more negotiations, you will, in fact, win more negotiations.
Have Negotiation Plan:
Having a good negotiation plan is like having a road map that leads to your destination. To negotiate without a plan is a plan fraught with potential danger. As you assemble your plan …
Plan how you’ll win the negotiation: Some will say, of course, I plan to win, but what does that entail? It should entail how you’ll engage throughout the negotiation when dealing with offers/counteroffers, and the detours you may have to take in the process.
Create mile-markers: Mile-makers are indicators highlighting where you are at any particular time during the negotiation. You should ask yourself if you’re on target per what you thought would occur, have you had to make adjustments, if so, what were they and what facilitated the need to adjust. Understanding where you are in the negotiation process will allow you to assess the corrective actions that are needed to move forward.
When I was a kid, my friends and I played a game called, “what’s missing”. It entailed observing items in an environment, leaving the environment, and returning to note what was missing. It was a good game that honed my skills of observation. When it comes to observation during negotiations, note …
Body Language: Are the words and actions of the other negotiator synchronized when he speaks? If they’re not, take note of what he claims to be true. In particular, note if his gestures are rhythmically aligned with his words. When they’re out of sync, that indicates that he’s in a deeper thought process, which means he’s choosing his words more carefully. That can also be an insight into the degree of truthfulness he’s willing to convey. When speaking the truth, it comes naturally.
Note comfort gestures: Comfort gestures are displayed by rubbing hands together, rubbing an arm, fingers, thigh, etc. You can also confirm such gestures by observing movements he makes that are closer to his body. Take note of when the gestures started, along with what prompted them to occur. You’ll gain insight into what he might be attempting to hide.
What’s missing: During a negotiation, you can gain great insight into the other negotiator’s strategy by observing what he doesn’t say and/or the questions he attempts to avoid. Observing such is noteworthy because it gives insights to his fears, fears that you might exploit.
Always recap a negotiation after it has concluded. In particular, seek answers to …
What went right and why did it go right?
What went wrong and why?
What was less than expected?
What was better than expected?
What could have been better?
What occurred that had not been anticipated?
How could the negotiation have turned out differently, good or bad?
By exploring such questions, you’ll hone your negotiation skills and be better prepared for future negotiations. If you wish to capitalize on this process, archive your negotiation postmortems by keywords. That will enable you to locate certain aspects easier in the future.
When you take the time to employ the thoughts above in your negotiations, you’ll easily win more negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.
“Darkness will always conceal from the light that which the light doesn’t expose.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
When you negotiate, do you see what’s missing in the negotiation? Are you attuned to how words are pronounced per any hidden meanings they might possess? Too many times, too many negotiators miss vital clues when negotiating. Those missed clues could be missed opportunities that might lead to a better outcome.
The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. That statement has been used to heighten the perspective that, just because we don’t know something exists doesn’t mean it doesn’t. In a negotiation, we must heighten our perspective for who may not be at the negotiation table that’s calling the shots. We must also be mindful of the person that represents herself as the decision maker and in reality, she’s a stand-in.
… and the dog didn’t bark. There are multiple questions that this situation could pose. Where was the dog? Should the dog have barked? Did someone do something to stop the dog from barking?
There are many reasons why you may not observe a piece of vital information that may be right in front of you when negotiating. To become more aware:
Increase your situational awareness. That means you should mentally prepare yourself to be more attuned to what will occur during the negotiation. You will already have developed your negotiation plans highlighting the strategies and tactics you expect to employ before the negotiation, but you’ll also layer those plans with the obscene. The obscene can entail something that is so outlandish that you’d think it would never occur; good negotiators flourish in the outlandish in an attempt to get the other negotiator to flounder. So, don’t take this ploy lightly. Also, by employing this strategy, you’ll uncover hidden thoughts that might come up during the negotiation and/or thoughts that will lead you to higher thoughts.
Have people on your team designated to observe certain aspects that occur during the negotiation. As an example, you can have someone listening to the words used to express spoken thoughts of the person with whom you’re negotiating. That person would also seek to determine how such words were positioned, along with inflections, to assess any hidden meanings contained in the words. That designee could also be tasked with assessing what was not said; what’s not said can have as much, if not more of an impact, on someone’s hidden meaning. That same individual might also observe the body language gestures displayed to determine how synchronized someone’s words and body language gestures are aligned, along with when synchronization did not occur (note: when words are not synchronized with body gestures, the words have a higher probability of being misleading.)
In preparation for vital negotiations, make sure you’re well rested and hydrated. In any situation that may be infused with angst or anxiety, your physiology will play a key role in how you interact in the situation. Thus, being well rested and hydrated will allow you to think better and more clearly. To add to your magnification of focus, be sure not to eat foods that will make you lethargic.
Slow down or speed up the pace at which you normally present and consume information. Doing so will alter the way you see and think. It will also alter the perspective of the other negotiator because he’ll be responding at rates you control.
There are a lot of moving pieces in a negotiation. Some are seen, inferred, and others are unseen and/or inferred. To gain a better grasp of the unseen, consider employing the steps above. You’ll see more of what’s missing in the negotiation, which will allow you to shine a light into the crevices in which the unseen hides. That will lead to more negotiation wins for you … and everything will be right with the world.