“Here Is What You Need To Know To Win More Negotiations”
He entered the negotiation completely unprepared. And he jumped at the first offer the other negotiator made. After they departed the negotiator that had extended the offer said to a cohort, I wish all of my negotiations were that easy. That guy had no negotiation skills.
Hopefully, no one will ever say that about you. Implement the following steps in your negotiations, and you’ll decrease that probability.
Identify what a winning outcome is for you and the other negotiator.
Take into account the resources you and the other negotiator will have to enhance your efforts. Those resources might consist of other people at the negotiation table and some that are not.
Determine what either of you might do to achieve that outcome.
Assess what might hamper the outcome you’d like.
Identify the body language gestures you’ll note to assess when the other negotiator is becoming exasperated. Set the baseline for those gestures by observing how he acts when he’s calm.
Other Influencing Factors:
Know the outside sources of power that might influence the other negotiator.
For more considerable influence, understand the way he thinks and the motives that drive his actions.
Know your pressure points and those of your opponent. You can gain influence by applying pressure on those not at the negotiation table – leverage that. Remember, the other negotiator can do the same to you. To decrease that probability, minimize those that may expose your vulnerabilities. Doing so will make you less susceptible to pressure.
Know how many phases there may be in the negotiation. If the other negotiator is the first of many that you’ll be negotiating against, he may be attempting to gain insight into your strategy. Then, when you think you’ve reached an agreeable outcome, he’s removed. And his team installs someone else. That’s the beginning of the next phase of the talks. That can occur throughout many stages. Be prepared for it.
Recognize when you’re in a zone – everything is going right. Also, be aware when things are misaligned. When that occurs, stop the negotiation. Take a break an assess what’s happening. Once refreshed, re-engage.
Read Body Language:
Gather nonverbal queues that reveal hidden thoughts.
Eyes – What can you glean from someone’s eyes? You can gain insight into their demeanor, the degree of respect they have for you and themselves. And you can note when they become uneasy about an offer. To record such occurrences, observe the eye movement when engaged in regular exchanges. Then, as things intensify, note the quickening pace of the eye movement, the direction up or down in which is glanced. Those movements will signal uncomfortableness. Take note when sensing that and be prepared to take action.
Hands – When people speak, it’s natural to use hand gestures. As you progress in the negotiation, note the degree your opponent alters those gestures. There’s value in noting the difference between him saying, and we’re this close to a successful deal while holding his thumb and forefinger a quarter of an inch apart, versus two inches. He’s displaying his measurement to how close he thinks you are to closing the deal.
Speech patterns – Words convey thoughts. And specific words have more meaning than others. Thus, lend attention to the words used and their pronouncement when someone extends an offer. As an example, if someone were to say in a robust intonation, that’s my best deal, take it or leave it. They’d sound more convincing than if they stated it in a weaker tone and with their head bowed. Gain additional information by listening and observing.
Have clearly defined points indicating when it’s time to exit the negotiation. Establish them during your planning session.
Allow the other negotiator points to exit without losing face.
Assess the degree a winning outcome has changed as you’ve negotiated. If it’s altered drastically, consider postponing it.
Many factors influence the flow and outcome of a negotiation. The better prepared you are for what might occur, the better your chances to control the factors that determine the outcome. Having more control means, you should be able to keep the other negotiator happy with what he receives, while you obtain what you seek. The strategies mentioned will help you do just that. They’ll assist you in achieving your goals … and everything will be right with the world.
“For Greater Success Women Need To Be Better Negotiators”
People that negotiate better than others tend to have greater success in life. That’s true to a point. Because, if a man and a woman have equal skills as a negotiator, in general, women tend to get the shorter outcome. For that reason, women need to be even better negotiators.
… I asked what challenges she has when negotiating. She said, “none – I never have anything to negotiate.” After I probed by saying, never? She, replied, “I took my brother once to help me negotiate the purchase of my car. I figured the dealer would take advantage of a woman alone. But my brother wasn’t any good. He just said yes to everything the dealer said. He didn’t know anything about negotiations. I might as well be alone.”
Most people don’t realize when they’re negotiating. Negotiation occurs when you’re attempting to achieve an outcome. Anytime you’re trying to get someone to embrace your beliefs – you’re negotiating. Some consider that influencing. But in reality, it’s a negotiation.
As you’re most likely aware, my motto is, “You’re always negotiating.” That means, even when you’re engaged in the influence process, you’ve most likely had prior interactions that shape how you address someone. Those previous interactions were negotiations. You exchanged in the give-and-take process that’s influencing how you currently interact with someone of like-mindedness or appearance.
That’s important for women to remember when they’re negotiating. If they possess a shackled mindset, they’ll be less efficient when negotiating. Instead, women must look at the situation and think, I’m free to be who I am. My past is not my present. And I will not allow old thoughts that hindered my progress from slowing me down. I will become stronger and move more boldly towards my future. Then, learn more about how to become a better negotiator.
Know Your Assets:
There were several factors about negotiations that the lady I was speaking with didn’t recognize.
She didn’t recognize that she’s continuously negotiating. That means being aware of where one action will lead and how it will impact the next step. Planning your steps will give you insights into what you’ll need as you engage them.
Since she thought she never negotiated, there were no contingency plans for situations she might encounter. Always plan how you’ll act and react before entering situations. Women should consider how their gender might cause others to treat them. The more important the outcome, the more one should plan.
Her brother was an asset. His presence gave her unforeseen leverage. But since she didn’t know how to use it, she forewent that advantage. Sometimes, having the right person with you in a negotiation adds value to your effort. As a woman, consider how you might employ seen and unseen leverage in your negotiations.
When negotiating in what might be an awkward situation, consider allies to enlist to strengthen your position. Look for those that have skills that will offset those of the other negotiator.
Know Your Negotiation Counterpart:
Negotiators have different styles of negotiating. And some have differing thoughts about negotiating against women. To understand the type of negotiator you’re dealing with understand their mind.
Women have built-in advantages in most societies. And that’s their gender. In general, most men don’t think women can negotiate effectively. A woman can make that ill-thought a man’s peril. And that’s the hidden advantage. Women can take advantage of men’s perception by luring male counterparts into negotiation traps. Then, she can spring it before he realizes he’s trapped.
Some women are relieved when they negotiate against another woman. Don’t fall prey to this thought. As a woman, it can be tougher negotiating with some women than some men. Some women believe they have to be tough to be respected. And they won’t cut you slack because you’re the same gender.
Before engaging in what might be a tough negotiation, practice. Do so in mock negotiations. Everyone can benefit from them. But women can gain more enormous benefits by practicing with male counterparts that might act like those that she’ll face at the negotiation table.
Never discount the value of practicing. And never neglect the importance of mock negotiations. They can simulate real-life reality before it becomes that.
The lady with whom I spoke had a commonality with other women about negotiations. Some either fail to even recognize when they’re negotiating, or they ratchet down their negotiation efforts out of fear. In either case, they shortchange themselves. They also forgo opportunities that could bring benefits for those that are dearest.
The question becomes, as a woman, is being a better negotiator worth the effort that it’ll take to become more successful? Others are depending on you! Commit today to enhance your negotiation skills … and everything will be right with the world.
“Do You Know How To Avoid Negotiation Manipulation Mistakes”
Before they began the negotiation, he heaped constant prays on her. She blushed and wondered if he had a deeper affinity. Finally, she said, “okay, enough with the manipulation efforts – let’s get down to business.” To which he replied, “I’ve been discussing business all along.” That’s when she said in a snarky tone, “the way you were carrying on, I thought you wanted to date me.” At that, he became a little crestfallen. That’s when he realized his prays had been perceived as manipulation. He had made a big mistake! Do you know how to avoid negotiation manipulation mistakes?
Continue reading and you’ll discover how to avoid and use manipulation in your negotiations.
Manipulations – good – bad – it depends:
Whether someone feels manipulated depends on their perspective. If you ask most people what the definition of manipulation is, they’ll state that it’s a negative act. It can mean to advantage oneself based on the skill applied to do so. It can also mean to address with skill a process or treatment – in that case, it’s neutral – neither negative or positive.
Before engaging someone in a negotiation, understand their perspective of prays, deference, and appreciation of one’s achievements. And be mindful not to be perceived as effusive. You don’t want your intent to be misperceived.
Some negotiators begin a negotiation unaware of how their actions are being perceived. Those individuals should acquire greater negotiation skills.
Smart negotiators are aware that every action may be scrutinized to disclose hidden intents. They look for body language signals to indicate indifference to offers and counteroffers.
Being unobservant opens the door to misperception. When you observe signals that indicate you’re being perceived as brownnosing or deceitful, those may be signs that you’ve wandered into the realm of making manipulation mistakes. Seek feedback as to how you’re being perceived and if necessary, clarify your intent.
Body Language Observance:
When detecting perceived manipulation through someone’s body language, there are a few signs to observe.
Head-cock to either side – This gesture indicates interest. It may be saying, where’s this going? Take note of the number of times the head moves from one side of the body to the other. That’ll indicate a greater intent to gain more insight about what’s being said. Look for other signs to add deeper meaning to head-cocking gestures. Smiles, along with interruptions, can lend to that insight.
Smiles – A smile doesn’t necessarily mean agreement. With perceived manipulation, a smile may indicate, let’s see how far he’ll go. Or, I don’t believe he’s saying that. If you have doubt about a gesture’s significance, inquire about how it’s perceived. Some people find themselves on a slippery slope because they don’t recognize the first step. Don’t let that happen to you.
Interruptions – When someone interrupts you, they want to alter what they’re hearing. They may be asking you to cite your case differently for greater clarity. The point is, they’re seeking more information. Take heed. They may be signaling hidden thoughts that states they’ve become more attuned to what you’re saying. Understand why that’s so.
Manipulation can be an effective tool if it’s used correctly. To do so, understand the mindset of the other individual – and his boundaries about perceived effusiveness and lack of respect. Those boundaries will be the sweet spot to place your praise. Skirt those boundaries and you’ll venture into murky waters.
The best time to manipulate someone is when you slightly alter what they already believe to be true. It’s even better if you’ve established trust first. Thus, the more they see themselves in your reflection, the greater the opportunity for manipulation.
Please be aware not to abuse this technique. It can have deadly consequences in a negotiation. Always treat your opponent with the utmost respect. If you don’t intentionally manipulate someone towards harm, you’ll have greater negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.
Everyone’s manipulated. Are you aware when it happens to you? If you know when it’s occurring, how does it feel? Sometimes, when people knowingly allow others to manipulate them, their mind becomes susceptible to being tranquil. Without knowing it, they become more vulnerable to manipulation. Are you aware when you’re in such a state?
“She said she was waiting for me. So, I sped up and a cop stopped me for speeding. When I arrived at the meeting location, I discovered she wasn’t there. She wanted me to think she’d arrived. I realized she’d manipulated me. The cost of that manipulation could have been a speeding ticket had the officer given me one; fortunately, he let me go with a warning.” Those were the solemn words of an account manager to his business associates about how he’d been manipulated.
Every day of your life, you’re manipulated. To control the degree that you’re manipulated, take note …
The degree of manipulation:
The more desperate someone becomes to reach a goal, the more irrational their efforts may appear to obtain it. Note the ratcheting degree of their efforts. Heightened attempts to manipulate you may occur during such times. If someone appears to border on irrationality, intensify your sense of awareness. It’s also the time that you might be most vulnerable to being manipulated, due to a proposal appearing too good to be true. Raise your guard higher and be mindful of your thought process during such times to ward off manipulative tactics.
Understand the intent of manipulation:
There are different forms of manipulation. Thus, the word ‘manipulate’ does not necessarily have to convey a negative sentiment. There are good forms of manipulation (e.g. keeping you from harm’s way). Thus, you should assess if the attempt to manipulate you is for your betterment or detriment.
If attempts to improve your plight are made through disguised means, you should be aware of such tactics even though they’re not as potentially damaging as those that might be applied for nefarious purposes. The point is, someone is still attempting to manipulate you, which means they’re trying to control you. For better or worse, you should always maintain control of yourself. Even if you wish to relinquish control, you’re the one in control of that decision.
The greater your understanding of someone’s manipulation intent, the more understanding you’ll possess about the efforts and where such is attempting to lead you. If you don’t wish to go there, don’t allow the manipulation to continue.
Someone attempts to manipulate you every day. You can control their efforts by controlling yourself. Once you do, you’ll exert greater control over your life … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Manipulation occurs in every negotiation. You and the opposing negotiator engage in it to alter the other’s perspective. The more insight you have about his goal for the negotiation and the strategies he might employ to obtain it, the greater insight you’ll have about the manipulative tactics he’ll employ to reach it. That will give you a mental form of protection, which should allow you to be more understanding of how to control his efforts. In so doing, keep your emotions in check. That’ll lead you to even greater control of the negotiation. To control your emotions, remember, you’re attempting to do the same thing to him that he’s attempting to do to you.