“How Forgiving Is Your Mind – This Is What Matters”
How long do you allow negativity to grip you in the jaws of despair – hold you mind hostage to situations that make you cling to slights that others thrust upon you? If you hold negative thoughts for an extended time, it might be to your detriment?
Anytime you allow lingering negative thoughts to affect your mood, your mannerisms, or your actions, you allow others to control you. Thus, at times, you must exercise forgiveness to release such anxieties – at other times, you must take aggressive actions.
The following are thoughts to help you assess when to engage in forgiveness and when not to.
Let it go:
Everything that’s perceived as being negative, isn’t. Thus, you must assess what is real versus perceived negativity – that perception will, in part, be based on your current state of mind. That’s why it’s important to mend your mind by not allowing too much of the past to cloud your current judgment – it matters to your wellbeing.
Release thoughts that debilitate your mind (e.g. they’ll never let me move into a higher position – they don’t like people like me – I remember the outcome the last time something like this occurred). Some thoughts don’t serve you. Even if such things bring past indiscretions to mind, don’t conflate them with your current situation – that was then and this is now.
By separating the past and present, you insulate your current thoughts from the past – that disallows your past thoughts from afflicting your current thinking. It also frees you to release thoughts that don’t serve you and replace them with those that are more uplifting. In turn, that will take you to a higher mental sanctuary, which will allow you to have a more positive perspective.
When not to let it go:
If someone or something is preventing you from achieving your desired goal, challenge them! Fear not for fear’s sake. If you subscribe to attaining an objective, you must do what’s necessary to advance forward. To the degree that it’s important, when others block your path out of spite or unrighteousness, don’t be forgiving – be persistent in moving them aside. There is a time for forgiveness – this is not it!
When it comes to your success and security if you let threats go unabated, you’ll only be postponing future dread. By not addressing situations that outright pose potential harm, you emboldened the source of that threat. If left unaddressed, it may swell to become the cause of your demise.
When something was too threatening, something that caused you to summon more courage, you did so. In so doing you realized, without struggle, you had no advancement. Don’t stop now when confronted by a daunting roadblock – that’s nothing more than a test to encourage you to display more courage – move on, go higher!
By controlling your mind, you control your thoughts, which allows you to control your actions. Control will keep you in a better mental place. You’re the master-of-your-fate. Knowing when to forgive and when not to will help you maintain that domain … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
During a negotiation, you can become overwhelmed by emotions – emotions that lead to thoughts of retribution. Unless there’s a sincere need for such, don’t let negative thoughts lead to emotions that cloud your judgment. They’ll saddle you with unneeded consternation as you go deeper into the negotiation.
Being able to forgive perceived slights can be a gift in a negotiation – it can free your mind to think more freely. Knowing when to move against such slights can also be beneficial. Thus, knowing when to adopt the right action is paramount. Therefore, when weighing a conflicting negative thought that might debilitate your mind ask yourself, does this matter? If it doesn’t, be forgiving – let it go.
He had a stomach swirling feeling. It was an internal alarm indicating that he was out of his comfort zone. At that point, he didn’t feel overly exasperated. Nevertheless, he knew he had to control his level of discomfort. He knew such feelings matters to one’s emotional wellbeing.
Are you aware of when your state of comfort is challenged – when your levels of uneasiness begin to alter your perspective and behavior? You should – those are the points at which you might begin to engage in negative behavior. And that’s why it matters.
The following are thoughts to consider to improve your comfort level and enhance your mental wellbeing. You’ll also uncover insights about your thought process. That will allow you to discover more about what matters to you and why.
Importance of Comfort:
Comfort, it’s something you constantly seek but don’t think a lot about until you become uncomfortable. You should note it more frequently. Because when it’s altered, your stability and wellbeing can become mired in self-emotional conflict. That can make you feel awkward in some environments. Not only should you know your level and degree of comfort, but you should also know what triggers it to go up or down. That insight allows you to gain greater control of yourself and the environments you’re in.
Going forward, note your emotional change based on your environments. Seek to understand why you feel more comfortable in some situations versus others. Before entering those that might cause you to experience discomfort, think about how you might obtain greater control of yourself and the environment. Look for common variables that you can use to become emboldened to assist in your assessment. By doing that, you’ll become empowered and gain an insightful introspection about yourself.
In considering your state of comfort, consider your current state of mind. Ask yourself why you have such feelings – what caused them – and what you might be associating from past occurrences that may be shadowing your perception. If you’re conflating past occurrences, especially if they’re negative, realize that you might be placing too much emphasis on the past. Separate the occurrence. Assess whether it causes the degree of angst as before the separation. You will have begun to control past triggers that might negatively sway your perspective. Doing that should allow you to become more at ease.
Controlling Your Mind Controls The Environment:
Before entering an environment, you have expectations about what might occur – how you might feel and what you might do. If it’s a new environment, you might experience a higher degree of angst than those that you’re more familiar with. Regardless of your emotional state, reassure yourself that more than likely you’ll live through the situation that you’ll find yourself in. Thus, there’s nothing worse than death that’ll occur to you. Anything other than that is okay. So, assuage your mind – focus on the fact that you’ll learn something from being in that surrounding. By thinking like that, you’ll relieve the pressure from overthinking what might occur and how you’ll fair. That should allow you to mentally perceive yourself as flowing freer in the environment. You’re going to be a rock star … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
The negotiation process is about comfort and discomfort. When a negotiator feels comfortable about an offer or concession, he’s more likely to continue upon the same path. Conversely, one can use pain and discomfort as a tool to motivate the opposing negotiator to alter the path he’s on. Thus, the tool of comfort and how it’s used during a negotiation is something that you should give with great consideration. If you overlook it, you overlook an ally that you can use to advantage your negotiation position. Smart negotiators don’t waste this tool. Are you a smart negotiator?