The leaders that preceded him always supported their allies. And his allies thought he’d continue that support. Then, it occurred – the opportunity to come to their aid. But he was a different type of leader. He cared more about his well-being than that of his allies. So, he abandoned them. He did that to maintain power while a secret source threatened him.
Everyone has a degree of authority. And that authority is a source of power. So, if you want to maintain yours, consider the following.
Sometimes, non-physical attacks work – especially in the face of threats. Thus, attacks don’t have to be physical. They can be verbal, serving as a warning of the foreboding to come unless current threatening actions cease. And, over a long period, they can shape future activities, anticipation, and mindset of those whom you convey your sentiments. So, when you consider how you’ll extend and maintain power, think about how you might use even the threat of an attack, physical or non-physical, to bolster your position.
When confronting threats, another strategy to consider is moving the goalposts. That means, when those you’re facing get closer to a goal, move it. Do that by changing the parameters that were previously set.
You can use this tactic against those that form less of a threat but with whom you wished to maintain control. You’d implement this strategy to keep the object of your actions aligned with you, but have them guessing at what you might require next. If overused, that tactic can also introduce and ignite anger. So, be careful of how and when you utilize it.
You can also implement this strategy by assembling multiple goals and allowing your associates to choose the ones to address. Later, for reasons you create, you can state that they have to alter their course and discuss new goals. You’d use this approach to buy time or to frustrate the progress they were making that was out of alignment with your goals. Either way, you’ll maintain power, while others are chasing the altering goals that you created.
Power is real to the degree it’s perceived, and how it’s adhered to by others. Thus, if someone recognizes you as being in control, in their eyes, you’re powerful. Therefore, another way to project power is to disallow others from engaging you. You’d forbid them access to you, be it in person or via any form of communication. Instead, you should have such individuals communicate through your surrogates. You want to maintain distance between you and them. That buffer allows you to remain somewhat aloof while giving you time to consider responses to potentially threatening situations. Then, when you enter into communications with them, you’ll have the opportunity to control the situation better. Your presence will suggest that something bigger is occurring.
When considering threats to power, some people become tyrannical to protect it. They will lie, cheat, and steal to maintain control. Others will acquiesce to threats. Thus, not only should you be aware of the personality type that you’re dealing with, having that insight will help you shape your response to the threats of others.
Tyrants – This individual type may have a relationship with power, new or long-established, that allows him to feel special. He rides on the clouds of accolades. And his ego is pacified while being affirmed that he exalts over his followers. It can be challenging to deal with this personality type. When confronting someone possessing this characteristic, no his sources of power, and know yours. You may have to call on your power sources to prepare it to battle on your behalf. You should also be prepared to employ dirty tricks to combat his forces if you deem it necessary.
Acquiesce – Dealing with someone that acquiesces can be tricky. The trickiness lies in the speed of his actions. If he nibbles at your power, he may do so to test the possibilities for success. Thus, he will not be as bold nor engage in the tactics a tyrant would use. Nevertheless, depending on the backers of this individual, he may become emboldened to threaten your authority because he’s being egged on by others. Keep this in mind and account for it when dealing with this type of person.
Power is fluid. And it’s ever-changing. Therefore, if you want to maintain control, you must be aware of what might alter its flow. And, you must be prepared to combat those that would take it away. To do anything other will empower others. And for them … everything will be right with the world – but not for you.
“Negotiator – Is There Hidden Power In The Inferiority Myth”
Is there a hidden power in the inferioritymyth? In its purest form, it’s nothing more than a belief or disbelief that people accept or reject. The illusion exists in its ability to manipulate the thoughts of others for good or bad. Therefore, you should assess whether myths are good or bad, by the way, you and others view them. After all, they shape people’s perspectives and opinions.
You’re continuously negotiating in all of your environments. And, as a negotiator, you should use every asset that’s available to enhance your efforts. The inferiority myth is one tool you can use to do that.
The following are ways to use inferiority myths.
Embolden others to feel good about themselves (e.g., I don’t think you’re inferior to anyone.)
As a source of neutrality (e.g., I always found everyone in your group/area to be open, honest, and easy to deal with. And I know dealing with you will be the same way.)
Perpetrate a stereotype that reflects the negative thoughts others have of an individual or group and cast yourself on the opposite side of that paradigm – This says, I respect you. We’re looking at this from the same perspective. I’m on your side (This is the good cop in the good cop, bad cop, scenario.)
Use to cast others as being inferior to you – Note: it takes a particular mindset to accept this pronouncement. Therefore, you should be mindful of whom you attempt to project this. Some people will perceive such sentiments as being derogatory. And this my insight them to become rigid, which may lead to confrontation or hostilities.
Use to cast yourself as being inferior to others – While most individuals seek to project strength, to appear in control, there are times when a demur posture can be beneficial. Casting yourself as being inferior can help that façade. Once again, be mindful of whom you project that image. While it will allow you to maintain a better position with some people, it can be to your detriment with others.
Use to cast your target’s group as being inferior to him (e.g., Why are you with them? You’re so much better than they are.) While this may work to separate individuals in a group from the group, it may backfire (i.e., He’s like my brother. And I’m just like him and proud of it!). So be cautious about with whom you attempt this.
Project yourself as a victim of perceived inferiority to the person you’re engaged with (e.g., Are you saying that I’m inferior to you? Why would you think that and why would you feel that way?) This can be the prelude to you feigning heightened aggression or agitation. You’d use this strategy with someone respectful of your authority who you want to restrain mentally. If you attempt to implement this with more strident individuals, you run the risk of encouraging them to become obstinate. So, be cautious. You don’t want to inflame anyone’s ire. That can lead to increased tensions.
As in every situation you encounter, you’re negotiating. Thus, as a negotiator, you’re always setting expectations. Some people will attempt to live up to them, while others will strive to live down to them. Hence, you must be sure you set the correct expectation based on the outcome you seek.
To set better expectations based on the inferiority myth, consider the source of power confronting you. If it’s potential trouble, you may suggest that the source’s ability is inferior. If that force is more amenable to follow your commands, indicate that everyone is on the right path (e.g., people that work together create more significant outcomes).
The point is, when employing the inferiority myth, make sure it serves the overall outcome you’re attempting to achieve. Anything less will put your efforts in jeopardy. That will cause unwanted anxiety and stress, which can add to a situation’s decline. Using myths correctly can be a valuable aid, but only if you use them properly. Once you do, you’ll be able to subdue challenges that, in the past, may have gotten out of hand … and everything will be right with the world.
“I wasn’t sure what I was sensing. But the story didn’t seem right. I didn’t know if it came from the man’s darting eyes, or his constant lip licking. He seemed nervous. And that increased my suspicion of his guilt.” Those were the words of a police officer recounting his thoughts to a supervisor. He’d just captured a criminal that had been on the lam for decades.
One researcher found most people lie in everyday conversation. They do so to appear approachable and skilled. As a negotiator, when you assess someone’s possible deceit, what signs do you look for in their body language? Are there other nonverbal signals that you spot that give clues to someone’s degree of truthfulness?
When a person lies, their body emits clues. That’s because our body attempts to stay in a constant state of comfort. And, when it’s out of that state, the body displays signals that account for that lack of wellbeing. The following guidelines will assist you in spotting lies in those that attempt to deceive you. Having this information will allow you to heighten your senses when someone is lying.
Reading Body Language
Forehead – When someone’s forehead begins to sweat, take note of what preceded that action. While the person may be sweating due to the heat, observe to what degree the sweating continues based on questions posed in the conversation. When coupled with other signs, you’ll have better insight into the person’s deceit or truthfulness.
Eyes – In some situations, a lier will avoid eye contact, because they know a lack of eye contact may indicate someone’s lying. And others will maintain eye contact longer than usual. To decern when someone may be lying, observe what’s regular eye contact for that person in different situations. As an example, note their eye movement when they’re calm compared to when they feel threatened in an attempt not to disclose the truth. Even when you first meet someone, within moments of the encounter, you can gauge their altering of eye movement. Note what may have caused it to occur.
Mouth – When people lie, and they believe someone may be spotting it, the more they speak, the drier their mouth may become. They may begin to lick their lips to offset the dryness or start to swallow excessively. Pay special attention to this act. While nerves may have a role in their actions, guilt from telling lies may be the real source.
Ears – Someone fondling their ears may be indicating that they can’t hear what you’re saying. But constant fondling is usually a sign that they’re attempting to comfort themselves. While they may be nervous, note some of the other signals to assess if there’s more to their fondling.
Neck – Rubbing the neck more than usual is another sign of tension, which may be caused by someone lying. Once again, observe other signals mentioned to gain greater insight into what this clue me be giving you.
Hands – Some people cover their mouth with their hand when lying. They’re attempting to hold back their words. If someone makes large gestures with their hands and then begin to make smaller ones while displaying some of the other signals noted, that might be another clue that they’re attempting to shield the lie that they want you to believe is the truth.
Fists – Hands that become fists indicate potential hostile actions to follow. That gesture in a tense situation may mean the person is tired of your inquisition. He may be experiencing anxiety from thinking you’re aware of his deceitful pronouncements.
Feet – When someone suspects that you’re aware of his lying, he may shift his body and point his feet towards the nearest exit. That gesture indicates that he wants to get out of the current environment because he feels uncomfortable.
As you watch someone’s body language, look for a cluster of actions. No action standing alone can definitively denote their truthfulness. Remember, when someone lies, their body emits signals. Those signals may be fleeting. But, if you’re astute at recognizing them, you’ll be better at catching the lies that people tell. That will allow you to maintain greater control in all of your environments … and everything will be right with the world.
How do you shape your logic before presenting an argument or rebuttal? And, would it be different if you were a whistleblower?
“The whistleblower doesn’t know what happened. He got his information from other sources.” Those were the words reportedly that came from officials at the White House. The words were stated to discredit the whistleblower. In reality, his account appears to be very accurate. And his report was laid out in a very logical format.
When presenting information, consider the following seven suggestions.
Make your arguments easy to embrace and understand. The more comfortable someone is in adopting a rebuttal, the more likely it is to persuade them.
Solicit empathy – When positioning a response to a question, attempt to place it as the other person would. That’ll allow that person to see herself in your response. It’ll also make it more difficult for her to refute it because she would have engaged in the same manner as you.
Before exposing your logic, think of where it might lead and how you might defend your position.
To make responses more potent, don’t defuse them. Adding unrelated or challenging to grasp information might defuse your position. Adding too many arguments can lead to a lack of understanding of your primary point. Thus, someone may become confused as the result of focusing on another aspect you’ve mentioned and giving that point more attention.
Demeanor – The persona you cast is how people will perceive you. Thus, if you threw the image of someone that’s challenging to deal with, you shouldn’t be surprised when someone deals with you in that manner. Conversely, if you position yourself as someone amenable, they’ll tend to respond to you in that manner. There’s always value in positioning yourself to meet the outcome you seek. Know what that is before projecting your persona, and you’ll have a better chance of convincing others to view situations from your perspective.
Don’t appear guilty when refuting a claim that’s logged against you. There are times when how you say something is more important than what you say. That’s because people will perceive your words through the body language gestures you emit while speaking. Therefore, if your words and body language are misaligned, and your nonverbal behavior sends signals of guilt, those will be the overriding indicators that are received. Thus, you’ll become viewed as being more guilty than innocent.
Acting crazy – “Crazy is as crazy does.” That’s a cliché denoting how some can feign craziness and use it to advantage their position. They’ll be times when it’s appropriate to act crazy. Doing so will ward off some people that might attack you. And others will keep their distance because they’re not sure how you’ll behave or respond in situations. Thus, this can be a very potent tool to use in certain circumstances. Those environments might occur when you don’t want to appear predictable, or when you want your opponent to stay on guard. That diversion can keep his attention focused on other activities.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Every negotiation follows a logical flow. Even when it appears to be illogical, there’s a flow that will become logical. Hence, the better your logic is for what you want to occur during a negotiation, taking into consideration of the other negotiator’s reactions, the greater control you’ll have in that process. That should allow you to control the talks, which in turn should lead to a higher negotiation outcome for you … and everything will be right with the world.
“How To Negotiate Better By Knowing What Value Is”
What do you know about value?
“… I’m so sorry for your inconvenience. I can upgrade you to a better room.” Those were the words spoken by a front desk person at a 5-star hotel. He was informing a guest of what he could do as the result of the patron experiencing a restless night. The patron’s restlessness was due to his loud neighbors in other rooms on the floor. The patron had begun calling the front desk around 12-midnight to complain. Throughout the night, he called several more times – all to no avail to squelch the noise that prevented him from sleeping. He thought to himself, and this yammering is ceaseless.
When he checked out of the hotel the next morning, he told the desk manager of his experience. The manager extended apologies on behalf of the hotel, stated that the night’s stay would be removed from the guest’s bill and asked if there was anything else that he could do. The patron said no. I appreciate the gestures you’ve made. Then he said, “all I wanted was a good night’s sleep. I have an important meeting today. And I just wanted to be fresh and well-rested.” As he left the hotel, he wondered if he’d ever stay at that location again.
Do you see the difference between how the front desk person and the desk manager addressed the situation? It’s slight. But it’s also powerful. The desk manager extended apologies, and he asked the guest if there was anything else that he could do. He was seeking the guest’s perspective of value. In other words, he wanted to know what was essential to the guest. If you don’t know what someone values, you don’t know what to offer them. That means you’re making blind offers when doing so in a negotiation.
When you negotiate, there are five factors to keep in mind about value.
People have a different perspective on what they value and why. Once you know their value perspective, seek to understand it.
Don’t assume because someone is like you that they’ll like you. Even when people have similar values, there will be nuances that separate their opinions about value. To assume you share exact ideals as your negotiation counterpart can lead to offers and counteroffers that are not valued. In a worst-case scenario, such offers can be damaging to your negotiation efforts.
When you’re unsure of a person’s value, ask what they’d least like to lose. The reply will indicate what is of most importance.
To test someone about their value, ask, “if there’s one thing that I could grant you in this negotiation, what would it be?” Once again, that person’s value proposition will reside in their response.
This last suggestion may fall into the red herring category. It entails discovering something you possess that’s of great value to the other negotiator. Entice that person to believe that he can acquire it but at a very high cost. The higher he’s willing to pay for the acquisition, the higher the value of possessing it will be. Be cautious when engaging this means of acquiring someone’s value perspective. If you don’t allow them to receive it after getting them to make substantial offers, they could become unwilling to grant you much after that. Then, the negotiation might hit a roadblock.
To become a better negotiator, you must always understand what is of value to your negotiation counterpart. Once you do, making better offers will be more comfortable – because you’ll know which offers possess the highest value … and everything will be right with the world.
Time is your most precious commodity. Once it’s gone, your life ends. Thus, your time is your life. What you do with it determines what your life will be.
No matter who you are, no matter what you do, every day a thief takes a little bit of your life away from you. Depending upon your complicity in his act, he takes a little or a lot. But he does so every day! Over time, his efforts add up to a staggering loss of your time, viability, and opportunities. Do you know who the thief is? Do you know how to stop him from taking your life? Are you even aware of what he’s doing to you?
For some, it may come as a surprise – for others, it won’t – the thief is you! You’re the one that’s allowing yourself to run awry with your time and your life – thus you can arrest those efforts that aren’t serving you. To do that, become more mindful of how you use your time.
How your time is taken:
There’s a cost to allowing your time to become taken. Do you know what that cost is? Consider calculating the cost of your time in dollars. That should make the squandering of it more meaningful to you.
Everyday you’re bombarded by distractive sources that cry out for your attention. They may show up in the form of a friend calling when you’re engaged in more productive activities. They may occur as something in the background that captures your attention that diverts your actions to something less productive. If you’re okay with having your attention diverted, that’s okay. Everyone needs diversions sometimes to re-energize themselves.
The point is, pay attention to anything that proves to be a distraction from endeavors that are more important. They’re your time stealers. And they’re the impediments that will prevent you from reaching higher heights. By the fact that you’re controlling the distractions that detour you from more important tasks should alert you to the need to exercise greater control over such occurrences.
How to stop your time from being taken:
Everyone encounters time stealers. Some allow them to occur due to a needed diversion from what may be mundane – they may be seeking something that’s more exciting. Others may do so because they’re fatigued and don’t possess the mental energy required to maintain focus. No matter the reason that your halted, note it. There’s valuable feedback information contained in that reason. You can gain greater insight into yourself and what serves as your motivators.
When you catch yourself diverted from more viable tasks, one way to prevent yourself from losing valuable time is to say aloud, “stop thief”. Doing that will allow your conscious and subconscious mind to become more attuned to how and when you allow yourself to get off track. And you’ll become more aware of how to combat such time thefts.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Time is the one precious commodity that every negotiator has. Thus, to that degree, all negotiators start off evenly. Even if you’re pressured by time constraints, initially if the other negotiator is unaware of those constraints, you and she are on the same time paradigm. Therefore, the way you utilize your time through the offers you make determines the flow of the negotiation and the degree that it’s beneficial to you.
You can make up for the time that might become lost by anticipating the unexpected and planning for it. Then, should it occur, you’ll be prepared to address those situations without losing time. That’s one way to stop time thefts from preventing you from reaching your goals, which will assist you in achieving greater negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.
The more powerful you are, the more powerful you’ll be. To become more powerful quicker, unlock the powerful hidden secrets that reveal your power.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
The evening was turning ugly – It appeared an impasse was at hand. Then, Amie spoke – “since John said he was not trying to insult you and he apologized, how would you feel if what you perceived to be an insult hadn’t occurred? Would you feel better?” With that, Harry said, “I’d feel a lot better.” Then she said, “well, let’s continue from the point of you feeling a lot better.” Everyone smiled, became congenial, and continued with that demeanor for the rest of the evening. Amie’s friend turned to her and said, “I didn’t know you had hidden powers. Are there more powerful hidden secrets concealed in you?”
Tapping Into Your Powers:
Do you know what hidden secret abilities you have? Just because others can’t see your hidden powers doesn’t mean you have to keep them concealed from yourself. Do you know how to tap into them? Those questions were meant to make you think. Because, if you don’t know there are hidden secret abilities in you, you won’t know how to tap into them. To reveal them …
First, sense that there’s more power living inside of you. That’s the catalyst, the starting point, at which you’ll move it to a higher sense of self-awareness. To do that …
Note how you feel in different environments based on the people you’re with (e.g. their status, their skills, your relationship to them, how they perceive you, how you want them to perceive you).
Observe how you feel when others give you feedback through what they say, how they say it, and/or what they do when you’re in different environments. In some cases, you’ll become emboldened. At other times, you may shrink. Take note of why you experienced either. That will allow you to uncover more of your hidden powers.
Embracing Your Powers:
Everyone possesses hidden abilities. You have such secrets concealed in you too. Over time, you’ve accumulated coping strategies that have allowed you to become more powerful. In some cases, you’ve held some of that power back for fear of what might occur if you unleashed it. If you identify fear as a source that prevents you from being more powerful, ask yourself what are you fearful of. And what’s the worst possible outcome that could occur if you confronted that fear. Again, you’ll be tapping into the source of the hidden power within you. That’ll be the beginning process of releasing that power and giving it life.
As you get older, you become more emboldened – you castoff concerns about what others think of you. You state, take me for who and what I am. The point is, you don’t have to wait until you’re older. You can do that right now! Doing so will allow you to unleash more of the powerful hidden secrets concealed in you … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Sometimes, when negotiators negotiate, they have a tendency to be overly adventuress or overwhelmed at the negotiation table. In either case, their power, or lack of, is the cause of that state. Therefore, you must be aware of what’s motivating you during your negotiations. Too much false bravado can sink you. Too little means you’re leaving too much on the table.
Negotiations occur in every aspect of your daily life. Thus, the better you negotiate in any environment, the greater the outcomes you’ll have. If you’d like to have those greater outcomes occur more frequently, learn to tap into more of the powerful secrets concealed in you.
“How To Out-Negotiate And Understand Powerful Handshakes”
“During our introduction, I felt uneasy. There was something in his handshake that made me think that he was attempting to project himself as being powerful. I wasn’t really sure what that handshake meant but I knew he was sending me a message.” Those were words spoken by a team member when recalling how he felt at the outset of a negotiation.
Handshakes convey hidden meanings. They are one aspect of body language that people should pay more attention to. They can make you feel powerful, be perceived as powerful, or make you appear weak.
Continue reading to discover the hidden meanings conveyed simply by shaking someone’s hand.
Meaning of Handshakes:
Hand on Top – One hand on top of the other person’s hand
Normally, the person whose hand is on top is signaling superiority. But, allowing one’s hand to be on the bottom can be a ploy to allow the other person to believe he’s in a superior position.
Hard – One that appears to be overbearing
A hard handshake can be a sign of attempted intimidation. It can also stem from someone that is naturally strong and unaware of the strength they convey when shaking someone’s hand.
One’s perception is what denotes the degree that a handshake is strong or overbearing. If you’ve had prior encounters with the other party and have shaken their hand, you have a basis for comparison in the present situation. If you don’t have that comparison, consider what a normal handshake would be like from someone of the same size, gender, and background.
Weak – Lacking power, dainty, gentle
Weak handshakes convey the exact opposite meaning of those that are hard. Again, don’t necessarily infer that someone is weak because they deliver a weak handshake. It may be the way they wish you to perceive them at the outset of your meeting.
Hand/Arm Jerk – While shaking the hand, a quick movement is made that pulls the hand quickly in a jerking motion in one direction and then pushes it backward in the opposite direction.
Sometimes, in a playful setting, friends will engage in such banter. In negotiation settings, this gesture is most likely a subtle signal that the one exhibiting it plans to keep the other negotiator off guard. Take note when receiving such gestures and compare it to what follows.
Firm – Not too hard, not too soft, both hands parallel to each other
In a negotiation, negotiators state through this gesture that they’re equal and respectful of each other.
The person holding the handshake the longest is the one controlling it – they’re stating that they’re not ready to let go. A normal handshake usually lasts for 3 to 5 upward and downward movements. Any more is excessive, which means it’s being done for a reason.
Here’s the rub. Just because someone extends a weak handshake doesn’t make them weak, nor does a strong handshake make them strong. It can all be a ploy. That means you can use this ploy as a tactic in your negotiations.
By understanding the meaning of handshakes, you understand more of what’s occurring. Thus, when someone shakes your hand, you can respond based on how you wish them to perceive you. That will alter the setting of any negotiation. That will also empower you … and everything will be right with the world.
He spoke with his website designer. After the call, he felt a heightened sense of happiness. As he reveled in his bliss, he assessed his state of pleasure and reflected on why it was in abundance. He realized that those feelings stemmed from that conversation. He thought, “My website will be updated, which means my services and skills will be presented better. That will bring in more business and create more opportunities for me.”
Do you note when you’re happy? Are you aware of the hidden sources of your happiness? Sometimes, we’re happy and we’re not aware of it. It’s usually because we’re not attentive to what put us into an elated state. Are you aware of what causes that lack of recognition?
Continue reading and you’ll discover why it’s important to pay attention to your level of happiness and the benefits gained from doing so.
Do you really know what it takes to make you happy? Or, do you leave it to chance? If you relinquish such an important force to chance, without recognizing it, you’re neglecting your wellbeing.
The more attuned you are to your emotions, your dreams, and driving sources of motivation, the easier it’ll be to identify those variables. That means, regardless of your state of mind, you’ll be able to alter it. But to do that, you must be aware of how and when to exercise that control.
The more aware you are of the environments that challenge your happiness, the more opportunities you’ll have to avoid negativity. First, you must know yourself, know what you want, and focus on constantly moving in the direction of your needs and desires.
When you sense you’ve made accomplishments, you feel the momentum of progress. And that makes you experience happiness. Conversely, when you’re not making progress, you may feel like you’re in a rut. That diminishes your happiness.
If you’re more aware of your environments and the people in them, you can make better assessments about the probability of outcomes. That’s another reason you should surround yourself with like-minded people. They can serve to help you strive for higher achievements. Their actions can have a profound impact on you and your degree of happiness.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
When negotiating, your emotions sway from one end of the spectrum to the other. At times, they’re like a wild and uncontrollable ride. At other times, they’re akin to a pleasurable stroll on the beach. In either case, your emotions will dictate your actions. Thus, the more aware you are about what causes you happiness, the better you can control your emotions. With that, you’ll be in greater control of your actions when negotiating.
Happiness is truly a state of mind. If you’re more aware of the actions that lead to greater happiness, you’ll be able to induce that state more readily. You’ll also be able to use that skill in times when you might otherwise feel besieged by others, which could lead to unwanted outcomes.
When you learn to control the occurrences that lead to greater happiness, you will have created space where more happiness can reside. That will make you the controller of your happiness quotient … and everything will be right with the world.
When called into his boss’ office, he was glowing with pride. He thought, “I took a gamble, made the right decision and now I’m going to get that promotion.” As he walked out of his boss’ office for the last time, with his head hung low, he said to no one in particular, “How do you know when you make good decisions if they’re good decisions?” He was fired for making a decision that caused the company to lose its biggest client.
So, what criterion do you use when making decisions? And to what degree do you know or think you’ve made a good decision at the time you make it? Decision making can be dicey. Consider the following when engaging in your decision-making process.
Every decision will lead in one direction versus another. The variation may be slight. But, if you make a drastic decision that takes you further from your goals, you will have wasted valuable time and effort. Because that will put more distance between you and your goals. Before implementing major decisions, consider the impact that little decisions will have on your goals.
Where Does It Lead:
To be more mindful of the decisions you make, question yourself about where a decision may lead. Ask yourself, what will be the outcome of the decision you make and how will it impact other decisions? Will the possible outcome be too costly to bear? How will I and those that I care about feel emotionally about the outcome? If you sense a feeling of dread during this phase, it may be a warning to abandon the decision(s) you’re contemplating.
Play the ‘what if’ game when considering the decisions you’re contemplating. Ask yourself, what would happen if I didn’t make the decision – where would that leave me? Where would I be if I made it? What would happen next? By posing such a series of questions to yourself, you’ll gain deeper thoughts about where a decision might lead. If it leaves you in a place you rather not be, don’t make it – abandon it.
Decisions have consequences. Consider the ones that are more important more carefully. In part, assess the impact a decision will have on your life or those that significantly impact your life. For greater assessment ask yourself, what combined impact will my decisions have on others and how might that affect me, good or bad?
What does this have to do with negotiations?
During a negotiation, you’ll evaluate a countless number of decisions. Some will be easier to make. Because you will have discovered the paths to take during the planning phase.
For those decisions that might bear strong consequences, consider the outcome carefully. If you think a decision may leave you in a good place now but challenge your position later, it may behoove you to forgo it. There’s always another side to consider when considering decisions. Don’t ignore the consequences of that other side. Don’t make decisions in haste – there may be unforeseen consequences.
Even when a decision can appear to be the light at the end of a tunnel, that light can be a train coming at you. Be mindful of how, with who, and when you make decisions. The more you examine the possibilities of where they may lead, the better a handle you’ll have on the decisions to make … and everything will be right with the world.