Caution without proper deliberation is nothing more than indecisiveness for lack of direction.
All seven of the members were in a state of confusion. They had differing opinions about what action to take, and they felt time running out. The leader of the group said, we have to proceed with caution. Then, he asked each individual, in private, to state how they arrived at their conclusion.
Finally, he reconvened the meeting. And he emphatically announced the action that the group would take. The power contained in his pronouncement left no ambiguity about his conviction to that action. Everyone looked at him in amazement. That was due to the respect they had for how he’d come to his decision. They viewed him as being more valuable and powerful than he’d been in the past.
What do you consider before making decisions? And, to what degree does caution play a role in your decision-making process? The following are ways you can improve the perception of your power and make yourself more valuable to others.
Caution Versus Haste:
Depending on the circumstances, making hasty decisions can be beneficial. You can say the same about being overly cautious when making decisions, too. But too much caution can cause an opportunity to dissolve before you have the chance to address it. While being hasty can vanish future opportunities that never materialize because of your current haste.
If you have to make impactful choices that will occur in the future, prepare for them sooner than later. Consult knowledge holders that can give sage advice. From that, adopt the most beneficial direction. Then, allow your thoughts to simmer into a more cohesive form of logic. That will dampen emotions from hijacking your thought process.
Seeking Advice – Setting The Stage:
When seeking advice, let those that offer an opinion know that you may not wholly agree with their assessment. And, inform them that their information will have an impact on the final decision. Doing that will make them feel valued.
By framing how you’ll use their input, you set expectations. And, when you set expectations, you shape the boundaries for what might occur. When you do that, it disallows others from legitimately stating they thought something else would happen.
People want you to listen to them – hear them. Let them speak.
They’ll perceive themselves as possessing power because they’ll think you thought enough to solicit their opinion. That’ll enhance the value they have of you.
Thus, by seeking their advice, you’ll increase their perspective of the value you have for them, which will bestow that power back to you. It becomes a completed circle. By making others feel good, they’ll feel good about being a source of value.
Caution – be mindful that people view environments based on their outlook. And that will shade how they see the world and the opinions they have. Those variables will impact their thoughts and suggestions.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
First, you have to have a firm understanding of the problem you’re addressing. That means not miscommunicating per how the other negotiator views the situation. As mentioned earlier, you should seek input from those that may add value to the final solution or outcome. When negotiating, that includes the other negotiator, too.
When seeking the process that led to his decisions, understand the mindset that developed those conclusions. If possible, discover his advisors and their mindset, too. Also, assess how you might play to their vanities if they exist. Everyone wants to feel valued. That leads them to believe their more powerful. As it serves your purpose, enhance their feeling by seeking their input. If getting what you want in the negotiation is essential to you, doing that will aid you in achieving a successful negotiation outcome … and everything will be right with the world.
The more powerful you are, the more powerful you’ll be. To become more powerful quicker, unlock the powerful hidden secrets that reveal your power.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
The evening was turning ugly – It appeared an impasse was at hand. Then, Amie spoke – “since John said he was not trying to insult you and he apologized, how would you feel if what you perceived to be an insult hadn’t occurred? Would you feel better?” With that, Harry said, “I’d feel a lot better.” Then she said, “well, let’s continue from the point of you feeling a lot better.” Everyone smiled, became congenial, and continued with that demeanor for the rest of the evening. Amie’s friend turned to her and said, “I didn’t know you had hidden powers. Are there more powerful hidden secrets concealed in you?”
Tapping Into Your Powers:
Do you know what hidden secret abilities you have? Just because others can’t see your hidden powers doesn’t mean you have to keep them concealed from yourself. Do you know how to tap into them? Those questions were meant to make you think. Because, if you don’t know there are hidden secret abilities in you, you won’t know how to tap into them. To reveal them …
First, sense that there’s more power living inside of you. That’s the catalyst, the starting point, at which you’ll move it to a higher sense of self-awareness. To do that …
Note how you feel in different environments based on the people you’re with (e.g. their status, their skills, your relationship to them, how they perceive you, how you want them to perceive you).
Observe how you feel when others give you feedback through what they say, how they say it, and/or what they do when you’re in different environments. In some cases, you’ll become emboldened. At other times, you may shrink. Take note of why you experienced either. That will allow you to uncover more of your hidden powers.
Embracing Your Powers:
Everyone possesses hidden abilities. You have such secrets concealed in you too. Over time, you’ve accumulated coping strategies that have allowed you to become more powerful. In some cases, you’ve held some of that power back for fear of what might occur if you unleashed it. If you identify fear as a source that prevents you from being more powerful, ask yourself what are you fearful of. And what’s the worst possible outcome that could occur if you confronted that fear. Again, you’ll be tapping into the source of the hidden power within you. That’ll be the beginning process of releasing that power and giving it life.
As you get older, you become more emboldened – you castoff concerns about what others think of you. You state, take me for who and what I am. The point is, you don’t have to wait until you’re older. You can do that right now! Doing so will allow you to unleash more of the powerful hidden secrets concealed in you … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Sometimes, when negotiators negotiate, they have a tendency to be overly adventuress or overwhelmed at the negotiation table. In either case, their power, or lack of, is the cause of that state. Therefore, you must be aware of what’s motivating you during your negotiations. Too much false bravado can sink you. Too little means you’re leaving too much on the table.
Negotiations occur in every aspect of your daily life. Thus, the better you negotiate in any environment, the greater the outcomes you’ll have. If you’d like to have those greater outcomes occur more frequently, learn to tap into more of the powerful secrets concealed in you.
“How To Out-Negotiate And Understand Powerful Handshakes”
“During our introduction, I felt uneasy. There was something in his handshake that made me think that he was attempting to project himself as being powerful. I wasn’t really sure what that handshake meant but I knew he was sending me a message.” Those were words spoken by a team member when recalling how he felt at the outset of a negotiation.
Handshakes convey hidden meanings. They are one aspect of body language that people should pay more attention to. They can make you feel powerful, be perceived as powerful, or make you appear weak.
Continue reading to discover the hidden meanings conveyed simply by shaking someone’s hand.
Meaning of Handshakes:
Hand on Top – One hand on top of the other person’s hand
Normally, the person whose hand is on top is signaling superiority. But, allowing one’s hand to be on the bottom can be a ploy to allow the other person to believe he’s in a superior position.
Hard – One that appears to be overbearing
A hard handshake can be a sign of attempted intimidation. It can also stem from someone that is naturally strong and unaware of the strength they convey when shaking someone’s hand.
One’s perception is what denotes the degree that a handshake is strong or overbearing. If you’ve had prior encounters with the other party and have shaken their hand, you have a basis for comparison in the present situation. If you don’t have that comparison, consider what a normal handshake would be like from someone of the same size, gender, and background.
Weak – Lacking power, dainty, gentle
Weak handshakes convey the exact opposite meaning of those that are hard. Again, don’t necessarily infer that someone is weak because they deliver a weak handshake. It may be the way they wish you to perceive them at the outset of your meeting.
Hand/Arm Jerk – While shaking the hand, a quick movement is made that pulls the hand quickly in a jerking motion in one direction and then pushes it backward in the opposite direction.
Sometimes, in a playful setting, friends will engage in such banter. In negotiation settings, this gesture is most likely a subtle signal that the one exhibiting it plans to keep the other negotiator off guard. Take note when receiving such gestures and compare it to what follows.
Firm – Not too hard, not too soft, both hands parallel to each other
In a negotiation, negotiators state through this gesture that they’re equal and respectful of each other.
The person holding the handshake the longest is the one controlling it – they’re stating that they’re not ready to let go. A normal handshake usually lasts for 3 to 5 upward and downward movements. Any more is excessive, which means it’s being done for a reason.
Here’s the rub. Just because someone extends a weak handshake doesn’t make them weak, nor does a strong handshake make them strong. It can all be a ploy. That means you can use this ploy as a tactic in your negotiations.
By understanding the meaning of handshakes, you understand more of what’s occurring. Thus, when someone shakes your hand, you can respond based on how you wish them to perceive you. That will alter the setting of any negotiation. That will also empower you … and everything will be right with the world.
“Negotiator – Do You Know How To Be More Powerful?”
“The patient fussed with her fur coat as she sauntered up to the doctor’s receptionist. “I have an appointment in 15 minutes with the doctor. Is she on time to see her special patients today?” The receptionist replied with a taunt to her tone, “The doctor’s patients are all special to her. She’ll see you soon.” With that, the receptionist left her station and engaged in other activities.
Are you aware that you can be perceived as more powerful by the way you present yourself? Do you know how to be more powerful as a negotiator? Continue reading and you’ll discover how to enhance your power in your negotiations.
Display of Empathy:
In the story above, the patient ‘sauntered’ into the doctor’s office, fussing with her fur coat and positioned herself as the doctor’s special patient. She projected an image of someone that was self-absorbed. Had she taken the time to observe the receptionist’s activities, commented about them and conveyed a pleasantry, the patient would have been displaying empathy. In doing so, she would have enhanced her power. Instead, she diluted it.
The display of empathy towards another’s plight is one way to bond with that individual. It also says subliminally that you’re not just concerned about yourself. You recognize the other person for what they’re dealing with.
Never discount the value or role that empathy plays in any interaction. It humanizes you while strengthening the emotional ties between people. And that enhances power.
I’m the king. Bow down to me – Not! When you project an image of self-aggrandizement, some people will rebuff you. They’ll be appalled at the perception you have of yourself, which will cause them to become rigid to your request. While such a persona may work favorably with some people, over time, they too will become tired of it. Then, they will seek ways to avoid or demean you.
Your persona changes over the course of your life. Always attempt to align it with how you’d like to be perceived. During a negotiation, you can dilute a powerful position simply because your persona rubs someone the wrong way.
Demeanor When Rebuffed:
When you’re rebuffed, how do you feel? I’m sure your answer is dependent on who the person is, what the subject matter was, and where it occurred. Just as your answer depends on those variables, so it does with those you engage with.
To possess more power, limit its display to environments where it’s less likely challenged (e.g. boss vs. subordinate, etc.). In addition, if you know you’ll be in an unfriendly environment, have retorts ready that will subdue the subject of the rebuff. Just make sure you don’t escalate the situation and cause yourself distress.
Some of the reasons people are perceived as more or less powerful are mentioned above. There are more reasons but let those be a starting point. To enhance your negotiation efforts and outcomes, always be mindful of how you’re perceived. To the degree it fits the negotiation, align your perceived power based on the person you’re negotiating with. If it’s not perceived as being threatening or overbearing and that’s what you’re striving to achieve, you will have aligned the perception of your power successfully. That will make you appear to be more powerful … and everything will be right with the world.