“Are You Talking Too Much” – Sunday Negotiation Insight


“Sunday Negotiation Insight”


“Talk less, listen more, learn more.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert


Are You Talking Too Much


“Are You Talking Too Much”


Do you talk too much? Once I had a friend that thought her greatest asset was others hearing the sound of her voice; FYI, she was not a singer. She was delusional in thinking the more she talked, the more impressed others were of her. She was wrong. Worse, she turned a lot of people off and she never knew it.


When you listen to others you discover what’s important to them. You also gain insight into their thought process, what they place importance on, and what they value the most. If you also observe their body language while they’re speaking and compare their actions to their words, they’ll validate what is important to them; whatever we engage in by definition is more important to us (i.e. you’re spending time doing that thing).


When you’re engaged in a conversation, listen with your ears and your eyes. What you see will add or detract from the words you hear. Don’t be predisposed thinking about your retort. You might miss vital signs that could alter the message you’re receiving. That can be the difference between getting closer to someone or pushing them further away.

Once you begin listening more intently, you’ll gain more insight into people, which will allow you to understand them better … and everything will be right with the world.


What does this have to do with negotiations?


In order to be a good negotiator, you must be very attuned to the words used by the other negotiator and how she communicates those words. If instead of observing that you’re contemplating your rebuttal, you’ll miss insights that might have taken the negotiation in a different direction.

To listen better in your negotiations:

  • Observe the words used by the other negotiator; as an example, ‘we’ conveys a different message than ‘I’, or ‘they’.


  • Maintain focus on the pace of speech of the other negotiator; decreased or accelerated speaking will be punctuated by something that caused the alteration. Make sure you know why such occurred.


  • Observe body language signals that lend or detract from a message; someone leaning away from a statement can indicate disinterest, even if the opposite is stated in words.

You’ll always learn more when you listen more and talk less in a negotiation. So, talk less and hear more of what you’ve been missing.


What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com


Remember, you’re always negotiating.


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