“This Is How To Control Rage In A Negotiation” – Negotiation Insight

“If you don’t control rage, rage will control you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“This Is How To Control Rage In A Negotiation”

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

It can be challenging to deal with someone engulfed by rage. Even more daunting is the challenge of dealing with someone spewing denigrating statements due to their fury in a negotiation. Thus, it behooves you to control rage, yours, and that of others, in every environment. To be remiss in this endeavor is to expose yourself to dire consequences.

To better control the ire of others, stemming from their rage, learn to implement the following insights. Doing so will allow you to temper the wrath of people seeking to suppress your success to enhance their own. And never discount the role that hidden rage may have behind someone’s reasoning to verbally or physically attack you.  

Lies And Liars

You lied! But what is a lie? It’s the difference in perspective as to what the truth is or what someone would have you or themselves believe it to be. So, how do you feel when someone lies to you? Depending on someone’s statement as being factual, and you knowing the opposite to be accurate, you may become somewhat upset. Regardless, your emotional state becomes altered. And for that reason, during a negotiation, you must be conscious of the effect that lies have on you.

Depending on the perceived severity of a lie, some people become instantly enraged. They begin to seethe as though someone was simmering their slow-searing emotions in a slow-cooker. That creeping sensation can alter one’s thought process and thus their ability to make rational decisions during a negotiation. And that’s another reason why you should be mindful of your emotional temperature in your negotiations. Because to be aware of it offers you the opportunity to control the rage that stems from it.

Rage Manipulation – Self-Assessment – Self-Control

Where does rage live within you? And at what point does it modify its location? What causes it to shift? Those are questions to ponder before entering a negotiation. Because anger can be the self-defeating villain that causes you to miss opportunities, abandon safe environments, and engage in risky behavior. In a negotiation, it can be the death knell that corrupts your position and respect that you’ve labored to gain from the other negotiator. So, how might you control the beast that rage unleashes in you?

When you’re in a peaceful state of mind, observe how you feel, what you’re thinking, and how you reached that state. Then, quickly irritate yourself. Do that by invoking hurtful emotions you’ve experienced in the past. Rev yourself up! What you’re attempting to do is challenge your mind to overcome the feeling of rage that had you in its grip. Then, again, mentally, take yourself back into a peaceful state of mind.

As a warning, this exercise can be mentally disturbing. It can upset your emotional equilibrium. But if you master altering your state of mind from rage to peacefulness, you’ll be more prepared to deal with the emotional swings that occur in a negotiation, which may induce irritation that leads to anger, which leads to rage. And the better you become at controlling the rage demon, the better control you’ll have of yourself and the flow of the negotiation.  

You – Multifaceted

Are you aware of the facets that make up your personality? There’s the side of yourself that you show to your friends, another side you offer to your associates, and yet another side you allow only to be seen by those closest to you. And at each of those dimensions lies the opportunity for rage to exist. You control it based on whom your with, the degree that someone provokes you, and your ability to keep it under control.

During negotiations, you must control your rage most of the time. I say, most of the time, because sometimes, an outburst of anger shocks the other negotiator into a state of sensory perception – one infused with the reality that he’s overstepped a boundary. Thus, as you negotiate, be mindful of your emotional state as it shifts. Assess where it is throughout the negotiation and the extent you’re controlling it. If you sense you’re losing your grip, and you don’t think an outburst serves your purpose, release its hold by seeking a place of calm. That place doesn’t have to be away from the negotiation. If you’ve mastered self-control, you can remove yourself emotionally from the situation while maintaining your physical presents. Once you achieve control, the rage that previously overtook your mind will never again cause you to lose control of your negotiation.


What irritates you? Do you become irate when someone lies to you? Are you confused when you become unsure about reality, whether it stems from someone misrepresenting the truth, or from someone bending facts by denials? Things that agitate you can lead to an increasing degree of rage. But you can subvert it.

To control the rage that stems from lies, control your thoughts from whom they originate. To do that, remember, people that lie are those that project a different reality. In your mind, reckon the differences you know to be the truth against what someone tells you.

Just remember, the best lies are those that have the most facts contained in them. Therefore, to control your emotions, do so based on your assessment and the weight you choose to assign to someone’s efforts to deceive you. Do that while observing when facts may be enhancing a lies’ believability. Thus, if you successfully manage attempts to alter your perspective of reality, you can control your anger more readily. You can also use this technique to control other aspects your negotiation counterpart may use to agitate you.


In a negotiation, you must control your rage. And it would be best if you attempted not to intentionally enrage the other negotiator unless that’s part of your negotiation plan. Anger can lead to rage in a negotiation, leading to unpredictable outcomes in your efforts to have an amicable exchange of offers. Thus, the more you control outbursts that increase tensions leading to rage, the more control you’ll have of a source the can be deadly to your negotiation efforts. And everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight,” click here https://themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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