“How To Win More Arguments And Do So Smarter”


“Sunday Negotiation Insight”


How To Win More Arguments And Do So Smarter


Must we argue, Jim asked Helen? Helen said yes because you won’t do what I ask of you.


So went the interaction between Jim and Helen. From Helen’s perspective, since Jim wouldn’t address her wishes the way she wanted him to, they engaged in an argument.

What perspective do you have when you engage in arguments? Are you aware of your mindset and what can highjack your thought process?

Some people have ‘lively discussions’. Some people have ‘heated exchanges of information’. Some, instead of using words to communicate become physical by striking out at others. If you take note of when you engage in arguments, their points of origin, and how you might exit, you’ll be in a better mental mindset to control your actions and that of the person you’re engaged with. Consider the following:


  1. Plan the best time to engage in an exchange of information.
  2. Assess to what degree what you’re discussing is worth your time and effort.
  3. Understand the mental drain that a ‘knock-down argument’ will have on you per your goals.
  4. Assess how others will view you and what that means to your future endeavors based on how you project your image when arguing.
  5. Consider when you’ll withdraw so you preserve the relationship with the other person.
  6. After the argument, assess what led up to it, and how you might have acted/reacted differently to alter its course. Learn from every experience you engage in.
  7. Be aware of your state of mind during the argument. Once you sense it getting ‘out of hand’, exit before saying/doing something you may regret later.

Everyone exchanges thoughts with others. When positions conflict, we must engage in mindful contemplation to reconcile our differences. Done right, arguments can be civil and lead to more cooperation versus separation … and everything will be right with the world.


What does this have to do with negotiations?


In a negotiation, the way you frame/position your perspective (argument) determines how the negotiation will progress. If you’re viewed as being adamant per your offers/counteroffers, you’ll be placing impediments in the path of the negotiation. Thus, when you consider utilizing the above suggestions in your negotiations, you’ll enhance your chances of having a successful negotiation outcome … and everything will be right with the world.


Remember, you’re always negotiating!



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