“Sunday Negotiation Insight”
“Emotions determine who you are, what you’ll engage in, and how you’ll act in such engagements. Control your emotions and you’ll control the emotions that could cause you to lose control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“Always Check Your Emotions”
What motivates you? Really, what causes you to do the things you do that lead to the different moods you find yourself in? The better you are at being aware of where an emotion leads you, the better you can be at controlling it.
It’s important to understand the source of your emotions and where such can lead because you can place yourself into different emotional states, once you become mindful of the different states of emotions that you experience. As an example, pause from reading this article. Look around you once in about 20 seconds. Do so 360 degrees and note what you see. Attempt to see something that you’ve not paid that close attention to if you’re in an environment that you’re familiar with.
What did you observe that you did not notice before? How did it make you feel? If you said you had no feelings, dig deeper. You thought and felt something. If your emotional state was so slight that it didn’t register on your emotional Richter scale, you need to become more aware of your emotions. Some have gone through this exercise several times a day. In so doing they became more aware of their emotional state and the stimuli that motivated them to adopt certain actions. A higher sense of awareness per what stimulates your emotional states in doing this exercise should be your goal.
It may not be possible to be aware of your emotional state 24 hours a day, but the better you are at sensing your mood swings or other states of emotion, the more aware you’ll become of how to shape any environment you’re in; the goal is to be able to maximize your actions in that environment.
You can only control something once you become aware of its existence. Thus, to the degree you can control your emotions, you’ll be able to control more aspects of your life … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
In a negotiation, you can experience and cause the opposing negotiator to have certain experiences based on the emotional state you’re in. If you control the emotional state, you can control the negotiation.
As you know, emotions change in the give and take that occurs in a negotiation. So, before entering into a negotiation, assess the emotions you might experience and what might motivate you to display them. Be on guard for those that might make you appear out of control. During the negotiation, be even more mindful of the emotions that can pull you off track and don’t let them do so. You’re in control of yourself and thus your emotions, control them!
Remember, you’re always negotiating.