“Beware Of The Concealed Danger In Friends” – Negotiation Insight

“Beware of the concealed danger that resides in friends. If perceived too late, you may not be able to avoid danger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“Beware Of The Concealed Danger In Friends”

When I was 11 years old, I got into trouble with the law. My friends told me they were going to commit a harmless act, and afterward, we’d have a few quarters. I asked if our actions would hurt anyone. They said no, and so I went along with them. Little did I know that decision had just placed me in danger.

How many times have you followed the suggestions or requests of friends only later to discover that they’re behest had placed you in danger? If you’d like to avoid such calamities in your future, observe the following.   

Style Versus Substance

Some friends have a particular style about their mannerisms. Their style, swagger, and sense of confidence can sway you more than the substance of what they’re saying. Take note when you find yourself moved by someone’s style over their content. More than likely, you’re moved to action based on their body language and nonverbal cues versus the logic of what they’re stating. Take a moment to reflect on what’s occurring before you commit or engage in an action that you may later regret.

Circular

You’re not the only one that can go astray by following your friend’s advice or suggestions. Your friends can lose their credibility by following your edicts too. And that would be due to requests that later proved to be unfounded, unwise, or worse, foolish.

Thus, as you or they mind the words that either speak, both of you must be mindful of where they may lead. Therefore, if the statements don’t support your future position, don’t state them. And, if you sense that danger may lay ahead, create a quick-response plan to deal with the fallout.

Truth be known, you should already have thoughts prepared ahead of time of how you’ll respond in certain situations. You should also have a mental picture of how you’ll explain your position. The purpose of this would be to help you correct the errant actions that might occur due to incorrect thinking. Since you and your friends can harm one another based on your acts, you should always be prepared to defend yourself and them by thinking before you act.

Images

He saw a box of peanut brownie biscuits. Immediately he smiled as he imagined how wonderful they’d taste. So he bought them. And when he bit into the first bar, a frown creased his face. The taste did not meet with his approval. He wondered why he’d bought them and muttered, “I should have known better.” 

Friends create images of outcomes when you interact with them. And that’s another reason you should be mindful of those that you accept into your friend category. They’ll have sway over your perception, which will influence your opinion and perspective about things.

It’s always best that you’re aware of the image your thoughts create. Those images will move you to adopt an action faster or slower based on the degree they resonate with you. And that will set you on one path versus another.

Compromising Positions

She wanted to be a good friend. So, since she was the president, she attempted to get her friend on the board. The reality was, the committee had already voted, no, to accepting her friend. But her obligation to her friend placed her in a position to contest the committee’s vote. Thus, she placed a higher priority on appeasing her friend than the members of the organization she was supposed to be supporting.

That’s the type of position you can find yourself in when a friend is insistent in placing you in a dangerous situation due to their request or demand for what they want from you. And that’s yet another reason that you must be extremely cautious of toxic relationships. They can place you in compromising positions, which will emotionally tear you between what’s right and what they want you to do right now.

When you’re confronted by a friend that becomes assertive about you engaging in an action that compromises your values, consider it time to exit that friendship. You’ll save yourself the damage of being placed in future danger.   

Your Future

No matter who you are, you possess seeds of greatness. But those seeds will only blossom into the fullness of their potential if you’re alert to whom you allow into your life’s garden. By minding your friends, you can increase the probability of those seeds delivering the fullness of their intent. And your future days will be better than the ones that have occurred in the past.

Reflection

A snake’s poisonous bite affects your body. And like the poison delivered by a snake, a small request made by a friend can alter your thinking, and place you in danger. And that’s something that you should always seek to avoid.

Once you control to whom you accept friendship and the information that flows from them, you’ll be able to control better the thoughts that pass through you. That will allow you to engage in better decision-making processes. And everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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