“Sunday Negotiation Insight”
“A lie has validity to the degree people believe it to be the truth. Watch those that you follow for they will impact your beliefs about truth and fiction.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“Dealing With A Liar’s Truth”
Mad as a hatter or sly like a fox, what is a liar? One of the definitions of a hatter is one who lives alone. That definition can be applied to someone that lies obsessively. Even when empirical proof is provided, he clings to his lie, having it stand alone in his mind as the truth. To a degree, standing alone emboldens him. After all, he knows he’s right, his truth is the lie that others can’t see.
How do you, or should you, deal with a liar?
- Be cautious when dealing with such a person. He can poison your mental perspective of reality if you allow him to.
- When confronted by someone that lies obsessively, question his motives. The small lies that he purports, may be the subterfuge masking a much bigger lie that could cause you massive harm. Don’t be afraid to question him per his motives and intent.
- Always keep an open mind to new possibilities. Sometimes, even when it comes to empirical proof, a lie is the truth waiting to be uncovered by new findings. If a situation warrants, conduct your own research to definitively assess the truth about a matter.
Words shape our reality, and a lie will give that shape a different form. Thus, we should always be mindful as to when we suspect someone is lying, why they’re doing so, and the outcome they’re trying to achieve.
Even if the liar doesn’t admit that’s he’s been caught, we have greater insight into the personality that we’re dealing with. That means we can better protect ourselves from him. When it comes to dealing with liars, keep your guard up … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
People are who they want to be because that’s the persona that suits them. Thus, if they choose to believe what they speak as a lie or the truth, they do so because it suits their need to be consistent with themselves.
In a negotiation, it’s extremely important to know when someone is lying to deceive you, versus believing in something that’s not the truth. The former may be someone that’s out to win at all costs, while the latter is being led by a lack of knowledge. A lack of knowledge can be dealt with by providing proof against his position. The liar that seeks to harm your position needs to be dealt with via different negotiation tactics. Know the difference between the two and you’ll be more mindful as to whom you’re negotiating with.
What’s your opinion? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
Remember, you’re always negotiating.