“Sunday Negotiation Insight”
“People only lie to those that allow them. Stop them, and you stop their lies.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“Kick Your Lying Sleeping Dogs”
Do you let sleeping dogs lie (i.e. don’t challenge them), or do you sleep with the dogs that lie to you (i.e. let them within your environment)? Sleeping dogs are used metaphorically to represent the untrustworthy scoundrels you may deal with.
You should always be mindful of who’s in your inner circle; they’ll have the most influence on you. As such, when it comes to those that you don’t completely trust, you must cast a watchful eye upon them at all times. That diminishes your mental fortitude. In order to function at your highest level, you must be mentally infused with vitality.
So, what should you do with the dogs that nip at the inner consciousness of your soul and rob you of a full sense of happiness and inner peace? The answer, get rid of them or keep them on an emotional leash so you’re not affected by them. That means only deal with them when and if you have to. If the cost is too high, leave the environment that they’re in, no matter how painful or awkward it may be initially. You’ll get over the pain in due time.
The point is, when people lie to you they detract from your quality of life; detractors come in all forms. Detractors can be dealt with, liars in your inner circle exact a greater toll. Once you expel the liars that are in your midst, you’ll experience less stress and chaos in your life. That will lead to a more fulfilling life … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
When negotiating, you should always be aware that the opposing negotiator may lie during the negotiation. Truth be known, most negotiators will lie at some point during a negotiation. This can come in the form of outright lies or lying via omission; some say the latter is not lying. Be mindful of dealing with these people. They may distract you from the path that a question was intended to address. If you sense they’re being evasive, probe to discover what they may not want you to know.
When dealing with a negotiator that outright lies, call him on every lie he tells. That’ll put him on notice that you won’t let him get away with lying to you. It’ll also signal that you won’t be the patsy for his charades.
When dealing with those that lie to you, attempt to rid them from your environment. If you have to deal with them, you might consider concocting the same type of lies they dispense back to them. As you do display a sly look that indicates, “you don’t believe me, do you-you shouldn’t”. If called on your antics, state, that’s what you’re attempting to do to me. Then pose the question to the other negotiator, “are you ready to negotiator forthrightly?” Then, take note of his words but observe his actions more closely. His actions will site to what degree he intends to be truthful. If he does so you will have tamed a liar. Whether he’s a dog or not is up to you to decide J.
What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
Remember, you’re always negotiating!