Negotiating When You Are Angry Can Be Deadly

When you negotiate, it’s understood, that you should control your anger. When you become angry, your logic becomes altered and you run the risk of losing the perspective of the goals for which you’re negotiating.

If you find yourself getting ‘heated’ when negotiating, take a timeout and get away from the negotiation table. Use any excuse that comes to mind and remove yourself from that environment. If possible, do it in a manner that does not give insight into the fact that your demeanor has been negatively altered.

If you become angered as the result of the other negotiator ‘taking something’ away from you and you display your anger, you not only give him input into your mindset, but you also telegraph the fact of how badly you want or need what is being held from you. Either way, you give the other negotiator an enormous amount of power over you, at that time.

You can do several things to thwart anger when negotiating.

  1. Prior to entering into the negotiation, assess what might anger you and prepare your response. Really try to ‘feel’ the emotions that might engulf you during that time, ‘work yourself up’ and then use a calming emotion to bring yourself back to a point of equilibrium. If the situation occurs during the negotiation, you’ll be prepared and should be able to address it, without losing your cool.
  2. Learn to smile when you get upset. If possible, use the same smile you display when you’re happy. From a neuro-linguistic (NLP) point of view, you’ll be setting your inner neurons, which will serve as a trigger, when a situation that angers you occurs. You’ll become readily equipped psychologically, to address such situations. (Note: This will take practice, but by practicing ahead of time, the process will become easier when you have to implement it in a negotiation.)
  3. There will be times, no matter what you do during a negotiation, when anger will catch you ‘off guard’, and throw you ‘off your game’. When that happens, allow the moment to pass, recompose yourself, and once you’re mentally stable, enter back into the negotiation. Don’t proceed until you’ve regained your composure.

When you negotiate, realize you’re human. As such, you have human traits and emotions. When you become angered and lose your perspective, forgive yourself. In so doing, you’ll become calmer and able to think more clearly. You’ll be ‘back in the game’ … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

  • When you negotiate, always remember that displaying anger can be a game changer. Once the other negotiator realizes that he’s ‘gotten into your head’ and caused you to become angry, he’s changed the game.
  • When angered during negotiations, play it cool. As a commercial once said, don’t let them see you sweat. Don’t let your anger show.
  • Like fear, people can sense anger, prior to anger being manifested. At the first moment you realize you’re becoming angry, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Try not to allow this display to be observed by the other negotiator.
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