How do you use emotional intelligence when you’re negotiating? Everyone uses emotional intelligence throughout their day. The better you are at recognizing how emotional intelligence is used the more astute you can become at using emotional intelligence upon others when you’re negotiating. In so doing, you’ll gain more of what you seek in your negotiations and other aspects of your life.
Using Emotional Intelligence to Persuade:
In order to persuade, you must first understand the other negotiator’s perspective. Once you obtain that insight, you’ll possess the foresight required to begin the persuasion process. Keep in mind that emotional feelings are associated with persuasion. Thus, to the degree you can put the other negotiator into an emotional mindset that allows him to associate his current environment, or one that you wish him to experience, compared to one in his past, you can psychologically entice him to follow your lead.
Using Emotional Intelligence to Gain Influence:
Influence is something we all have and something all of us seek more of. When it comes to emotional intelligence and influence, we must understand how we’re perceived by the other negotiator per how that perception matches her wants, needs, and desires. The reason is, in order to become influential, one must first instill trust of one’s character and/or ability before the target that you seek to influence allows herself to be influenced by you. Certainly, we can gain influence through positional power (boss-subordinate relationship, coercion, etc.), but that’s only temporary and only last while we have positional power. To become more influential, position yourself as someone that cares about the other negotiator, someone that’s not greedy, and someone that will be fair throughout the negotiation. Note to what degree your actions are met in kind. If there not, you may have to switch to a sterner tactic to gain influence. People tend to like people that are like themselves. If the opposing negotiator sees a reflection of herself in you, she should appreciate the persona you project.
Using Emotional Intelligence to Enhance Offers:
When interacting with the opposing negotiator, consider what’s normal per her expectations. If you’re uncertain, ask her. If you discover she’s accustomed to having certain expectations met and you can provide them to her, base your offers in a way that’s best positioned such that she perceives them as being very beneficial. To the degree you can’t, explain why in an open and honest manner. In your explanation, consider the timeframe which is best to do so, the purpose/intent of why you’re giving her the additional insight, and what you’d like her to do with it. By positioning the information in this manner, you’ll also be in greater control of the negotiation and how she processes/interprets your offers.
When it comes to emotional intelligence, the better you attune your acuity to it, the better you’ll be able to emotionally control yourself and your negotiation counterpart. In a best-case scenario when done right, the level of control and flow you’ll have in and during the negotiation will allow you to be perceived as open, honest, and respectful.
Use emotional intelligence wisely and you’ll be rewarded with greater negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!