“Whose Thoughts Are Controlling You” – Sunday Negotiation Insight


“Sunday Negotiation Insight”


“Be mindful of the thoughts you have that stem from others, especially if those thoughts don’t serve you.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert


Whose Thoughts Are Controlling You


“Whose Thoughts Are Controlling You”


Be wary of those that deconstruct and then reconstruct reality to serve their purpose.


A standard practice in negotiations is to shape someone’s perspective. Actually, that occurs anytime in life when one person is attempting to get someone else to ‘see things their way’. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that. It’s the give and takes that occurs in any discussion. What you should be mindful of is why someone is attempting to get you to alter your perspective.

If someone purports something to be a certain way and you have an opposing opinion, understand the mental dynamics that are at play. Question if the person is trying to sway your point of view because he’s prioritizing a self-need to fulfill. If so, ask yourself what that need is and why he has the desire to fulfill it. Next, consider what he’ll do with your swayed perspective. That will inform you of how you fit into his equation.

Here’s the point. The better you can understand someone’s motive per the acts they engage in, especially when they’re attempting to alter your mind, the more understanding you’ll have about their source of motivation. That source will be the real reason behind their actions. Once you know that, you can determine if you want to go for a mental ride that they’re in control of or take a ride of your own. Either way, you’ll be in greater control of what happens to you … and everything will be right with the world.


What does this have to do with negotiations?


In negotiations, people present thoughts, ideas, and situations that support their objectives. They do so from their perspective of reality. They create it based on the way they construct, deconstruct, and then reconstruct situations they’ve experienced.

If you want to maintain and exercise more control in any negotiation, you must understand the process that someone has gone through to develop the mindset they possess. Once you understand where they’ve been, you can assess with more accuracy where they’re headed. Then, if you wish to go along because it behooves you to do so, you’ll do so because it fits into your plans. You’ll be looking out for yourself, knowing that you’re not blindly following someone else’s mandate.  That will allow you to be in greater control of yourself and the negotiation.


What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com


Remember, you’re always negotiating.




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